


Fatherhood

by Scribe32oz



Series: Seven Scrolls [30]
Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brotherhood, Character Death, Children of Characters, Comedy, Ensemble Cast, F/M, Family Drama, Friendship, Future Fic, Humor, Minor Violence, Novella, Period-Typical Racism, Series, Weddings, Western
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-14 22:18:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 85,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13017300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribe32oz/pseuds/Scribe32oz
Summary: This is a series of stories featuring the seven and their children as introduced in Someday. Chris Larabee learns its hard to the bad element when he has to babysit his three year old daughter Sarah while Vin Tanner thinks back to the day when he believed he would have nothing to teach a little girl only to learn she has other ideas. And how much do his twins take after him? Thanks to Maude, Ezra's going to find out and Buck Wilmington realises the only thing worse than losing his daughter is marrying her off......





	1. Life Changes

 

 

There were two kinds of accidents.

The bad ones which usually involved broken bones, falling off ladders, stubbing ones toes against furniture corners, were often those most common of the first variety. They came quickly and varied in whether they departed with the same speed, depending on the seriousness of the accident. The second type, the good accidents were a little more difficult to categorize. It was usually a freak happenstance, which produced good results, which was why its genus so hard to name. Although the initial beginnings of a ‘good accident’ were difficult to predict, invariably the outcome usually brought forth some positive occurrence that was unexpected but well received.

Alexandra Styles still did not know which one this was.

She paced the floor of clinic trying to make the decision, knowing that there was only so much time before denial would have to give in to logic and then she would have to deal with accepting what was fast becoming an incontrovertible truth as opposed to mere suspicion. She supposed that it should come as no shock to her, after all, she was a doctor. Having delivered the news to so many others since she had begun practicing in Four Corners, should by definition make it easier for her to accept it herself. Her heart alternated from pounding loudly with anticipation and joy, to stark cold terror at what this would mean to her. She was not afraid of it of course, it was a natural part of life but was it a natural part of her life? That was the harder question.

Not so long ago, she had pondered this question for Casey Wells and had come to no conclusion or to any answer that would give her comfort. Although in all honesty, her situation and Casey’s were vastly different. Casey was an unwilling participant in what had happened to her, while Alex had always known that the possibility existed and believed until now that she was ready for it. However now that the moment had come, she found herself existing in a state of limbo of suddenly finding the future a most undecided place. Yesterday, she had known exactly what the rest of the year would bring, the appointments she had made and the trips planned to attend medical symposiums in Denver. Next month would be that birthing class she was teaching. Dates and names reeled about in her head with such speed she could not think clearly. But now everything was different. Not just for her but Vin too.

_Vin._

Alex stopped short and remembered that she had not even told him yet. Sitting down heavily in her desk, she started tidying up the papers in a daze, not really paying attention to anything because her mind was focussed on what she would tell Vin. She had no idea how he would take it even though he said that they had plenty of time for children. Plenty of time, Alex snorted. Just like a man to think that. Well it looked like time had run out for both of them. Still, no matter how much she was inclined to panic, there was also a part of her that was somewhat content and comforted by knowing that the future was now fixed on a course that would not change. Her life  _was_  changing and though it frightened her; it was not necessarily for the worse. 

She calculated the months and realised that this was a good time. It would be autumn, although out in the Territory it really did not make any difference. The nights were just colder that’s all. She thought of the house that was on the verge of being completed at the ranch and although Vin had no idea yet, he had just been given a deadline. She had seen the progress of the house he had been building with much help from Buck and Josiah and for the first time felt an eagerness to occupy it. She looked around her beloved clinic and realized that even the one he was building her could never replace it, but Alex did not seem to mind as much as she used to.

She was having a baby and beyond that, nothing else seemed to matter.

* * *

A month had passed since Four Corners fought its fiery battle against the Apache raiders that had nearly razed the town to ground. While some of the buildings still bore the signs of battle, the community for most part had recovered the near disaster. Even though the most evident consequence of that battle had been an increased presence of Union soldiers making their presence felt, for most part Four Corners had left the incident behind them and moved on. Some of the townsfolk had elected to leave and these were mostly the handful that had refused to fight in the defense of the town in the first place. They did not have that much attachment to Four Corners and opted to move on to some place safer.

Even though the Citadel’s part in the Indian uprising was over, the incident clearly reminded the powers that be that there was still much danger from the red man and efforts to contain them only worsened the situation. Those who had thought the Plains War was over were very much mistaken and now a new shadow had fallen over the Territory as raids and ambushes became an every day reality again. Lawmen now found added to their list of duties, escorting the stages leaving town part way to their destination in case the Indians took to disrupting the vital lines of transportation. Fortunately, most folk chose to travel on the railroad and that seemed to keep incidents of violence to a minimum. Still, no one was entirely happy with the situation, whether or not they were sympathetic to the Indian cause.

On this particular day, the lawmen of Four Corners were spending the afternoon in the saloon. Business had been tended to in the jailhouse, prisoners transported and those who had work in their ranch had taken care of it earlier that morning. Four Corners had been enjoying a month of relative peace and quiet and none of the seven men who made up the Magnificent Seven did not seem to mind this at all. For some reason, trouble seemed to use them as a focal point, thus they did not mind the occasions where life just tumbled down its own beaten path, with nothing unusual head for the time being.

"Inez wants everyone over on Sunday," Buck Wilmington announced lethargically as he leaned back into his chair, long legs stretched under the table as he studied the cards in his hands. "We’re celebrating." He added, looking over the assorted collection of spades and queens.

"And pray tell, what are we celebrating?" Ezra asked coolly, trying to discern from Buck’s manner whether or not the man was stalling for time or was his announcement genuine.

"It’s my little girl’s birthday." Buck frowned, discarding a number of his spades and picked up replacements only to find that they were even less inspiring then what he had.

"Has it been a year already?" Josiah asked, lips curling into a little smile remembering the wedding he had performed on that prairie somewhere near the border of Mexico.

"Yep," Nathan responded as he pushed a dollar before him as an indication of his stake. "A year come Sunday. It’s not easy to forget the day when you delivered a baby  _and_  saw Vin become a bridesmaid."

An eruption of chortles around the table preceded the healer being swatted by the tracker’s hat as Vin growled. "Figures _that’s_ what you’d remember."

"Well come on now," Buck grinned in his direction. "You were just the prettiest bridesmaid I’d ever seen."

"Eat shit and die Bucklin." Vin retorted. "I can’t imagine that it’s been a year since someone made an honest man out of you. Who would figured you’d last?"

"Certainly not I," Ezra teased. "And I had substantial wagers banking on that. Most of the punters did not believe you would last a week and by the way JD, you still owe two dollars for that particular bet." The gambler winked at the youth just as Buck turned around to give the young man a stare of wounded pride.

"I couldn’t help it," JD laughed defending himself. "I mean it seemed like a sure thing!"

"Thanks," Buck threw JD a dirty look that was all good humor. "I guess us family men have to stick together huh Chris?"

Chris Larabee had been listening but his gaze was fixed on the piece of wood he was whittling away prodigiously with his pocketknife. There was still a great deal of work left before it would actually look like something but for the moment, he was content to let the wood guide him in how it wanted itself shaped. "Sorry Buck," Chris gave him devious smile. "Ezra took my money too."

They were still in mid chuckle when Alex appeared at the door of the saloon. It was not usual for the doctor to be seen inside the establishment. Like most women in town, she did not feel it proper to enter unless it was really important and the sight of her walking through the batwing doors brought and immediate end to the light mood. Vin rose to his feet first but he was followed by every other man at the table because it was the polite thing to do even in the company of a lady as familiar to all of them as Alex. They would do no less for Mary or Julia although Inez had told them to desist when they were in the saloon. It besmirched her image as the feisty bartender.

"Alex, honey." Vin spoke as soon as she approached. "Something wrong?" Her expression was strange, not an indication of trouble but not one that said things were fine either.

"No, not really." She remarked and gestured him away from the table.

Vin followed, his brow furrowing in a mixture of curiosity and an expectation of something in the horizon that might be trouble except he was not quite sure. Even though his friends turned their attention back to their barroom pursuits, there was no doubt in Vin’s mind that they were tuned into what was happening between himself and Alex. He followed her almost to the door where they would definitely be out of earshot of everyone before she paused and faced him.

"Vin," Alex said seriously. "I have news."

"What news?" Vin asked firmly. "Alex, you’re making me really nervous."

"Brace yourself," she said shortly. "What I’m about to tell you isn’t going to make you feel any less."

"What is it?" He tensed, wondering what calamity she was about to drop into his lap.

"I’m late." She declared, a held breath escaping with her words at the same time.

"For what?" He asked mutely.

"VIN!" She cried out in exasperation and hit on the arm. "I mean late as in pregnant!" 

"With a baby?" Vin stared at her.

"Really?" Alex rolled her eyes. "Yes, with a baby."

"When? Are you okay? What can I do?" He stuttered once it began to sink in.

"First; in the autumn. Second; I’m fine and third; you’ve done quite enough." Alex managed a smile.

"I can’t believe it," he joined her feeling flustered, excited and terrified all at the same time, unaware that it was a gamut of emotion she had experienced already. "We’re having a baby."

"Yeah," Alex answered, started to enjoy it a little more now that she saw that he was clearly pleased about it. For an instance, Alex had no idea what his reaction would be. They had talked about children but then discussion and the reality were too different things. "I guess we are."

"Come on," he took her hand and led her back to the table.

"Oh no," Alex said retreating towards the door. "If I don’t tell Mary first and she hears it from Chris, she’ll have my hide."

"Right," he grinned and pulled her to him in a warm embrace, which didn’t feel quite enough until he lifted her off her feet and spun around the room. "I love you."

"I love you too." She smiled brightly, blowing him a kiss as she left the room.

Vin turned back to his friends who had been watching and were no longer feigning any effort to hide their interest in light of the scene they had just witnessed. Despite his ability to take most things in stride, Vin was not quite able to suppress the grin on his face when he joined them.

"Okay what is it?" JD cracked first. "You’re killing us."

"Come on pard," Chris added his voice into the mix, not usually one to pry but he had an instinct about what that exchange was about and wanted to know if he was right.

"Looks like I’m gonna have to get that house finished before fall," Vin replied, never being comfortable with Alex calling it autumn. "Cause we’re gonna need the room for a nursery!"

"Alright!" Buck exploded and was shaking Vin’s hand before he knew what was happening. Josiah was patting him on the back and Ezra was calling Inez for another round of drinks. Congratulations were being cast about the room as Vin returned to his table. A squeal of surprise escaped Inez when she had brought the fresh round of drinks and gleefully told by Buck the reason for the celebration. Her response was a swift hug before she hurried out of the saloon to find Alex who was undoubtedly in a similar celebration with Mary.

Vin let out a sigh and met Chris’ gaze. "Never thought I’d ever get to be a pa." He thought of his own childhood and knew that he wanted to make his son’s life a world away from what he had experienced. His son would never know a day of loneliness as long as he lived. "Can you picture me being a father?"

"Not really," Ezra smiled. "I have difficulty picturing you bathed."

"Nothing you say is gonna get to me Ezra." Vin cocked a brow of mischief at the gambler.

"Congratulations Vin." Chris said, his usually hard voice full of warmth. "To both of you."

"I keep thinking of all the things I gotta teach a boy and it just makes my head spin." Vin sighed, feeling almost breathless from the heart that was beating so fast inside his chest.

"You could have a girl too you know," Nathan reminded "Babies come in one or the other."

Vin swallowed his drink with a gulp and stared at Nathan with a stunned expression. "Girl?"


	2. Daddy's Little Girl

 

It is odd the things that women consider important and the things that men consider the same. So markedly differing are these two opinions, that one can be forgiven at questioning the whole concept of woman being created from Adam’s rib when their diversity of thought was such. A hundred years from now, a writer will consider the contrasting differences so vast that they should be named after planets as an accurate scale of measurement. Men looked at women as inferior because their duties kept them out of danger, protected in the hearth, warm and comfortable while women thought men were the same for more or less the same reason. It was sexual dimorphism at its most distinct, transcending more than just physiology but rather mentality.

At no place in Chris Larabee' entire universe was this statement more true than inside the confines of his kitchen listening to the conversation his wife was presently having with his two sons Michael and Kyle. Both were staring at him, pleading with eyes he saw in the mirror every day to be rescued, but there were some dangers even Chris was not prepared to face even for the fruit of his loins; especially if he still intended to  _keep_  those loins. Realizing that they would be receiving no help from their father, Michael and Kyle stood before their mother as she ensured that they were presentable for their trip to Sweet Water.

"Ma, we  _have_  shoes." Michael spoke up attempting to save himself and his brother. However, his nerve failed him after speaking when he saw his father grimacing in pity.

"Michael," Mary Larabee stared at her eleven year old son. "I am not having this conversation with you again. Now you need shoes, the both of you. I will not have you starting the school year in those things you're wearing and since the Emporium seems to be out, we will go to Sweet Water to get them. Now I am done discussing this subject with both of you so get to the wagon."

"But...." Michael started to say but Mary threw him a look that would have frozen water.

"In...the...wagon...Michael Vin Larabee. NOW."

Michael gulped at the use of his full name, which was usually a good indication that he was nearing the edge of his mother's patience. The instances where his mother's temper got the better of her was rare but those instances were marked in memory and he knew enough not to inspire its wrath.

"I'd take advice, Mikey." Chris said sympathetically.

"Bye pa." Kyle beamed at his father and grabbed Michael's hand. "Come on Mikey, before you get us into any more trouble."

Michael gave his brother a look and Chris had to stifle a smile as Michael was dragged out of the kitchen, grumbling openly at why his parents couldn't have left him an only child.

Once they were gone, Mary let out a sigh of frustration. "I am getting too old for this. It's the same with Billy and I thought experience would make it easier with Mikey and Kyle. Thank God Sarah's a girl."

Chris rose to his feet and slipped his arm around his wife's waist, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Try not to kill them. I know they're a pain in the ass but I'll miss em."

Mary uttered a short laugh, joining her husband in the moment he had used to make her feel better. "I'll try." She replied, appearing a good deal happier than she had a second ago. "Are you going to be alright?" She asked in a more serious tone.

"I don't see why not." Chris shrugged, aware that she did not quite trust him alone with their youngest. It had nothing to do with his being untrustworthy or anything as uncharitable as being unreliable but women didn't trust men to well with small children, especially one who was not far from infancy. "Its gonna be a quiet day with the others out of town or at the ranch, so I can stay at home and watch her."

"She may be three years old but she can be a handful Chris," Mary said with a frown, uncomfortable at the fact that Chris seemed to think that little girls could not possibly get into the same kind of trouble as little boys.

"Hey, I handled six of the orneriest men in the Territory for years, I  _think_  I can handle this." Chris replied confidently and then noted his wife had a bemused expression, which indicated she did not believe him for a minute.

"Right, just don't use her as a stake when you're playing cards with Ezra." Mary answered sweetly, reminding him pointedly of what happened the last time he had babysat for his daughter and what a moment of inappropriate inebriation with some of his companions who kept him company while doing it had led to.

"It wasn't like I lost her or anything." Chris grumbled. 

"MA!" Kyle's voice screamed through the kitchen from the wagon outside. "MIKEY'S MAKING FACES AT ME!"

Mary took a deep breath and met Chris' gaze once more. "I don't have to kill them, I can just leave them in the woods."

Chris decided to rescue his wife before she actually did as she threatened and went to the doorway and called out to the two boys in the wagon. "Knock it off you two." There was just enough edge in his voice to ensure that it was a warning that would not be issued twice. Although the boys might protest if it was their mother making the threat, when it was their father, it was not to be taken lightly. Both of the Larabee boys scowled at each other before nodding obediently at Chris.

"They’re all yours." Chris retreated into the kitchen to see Mary fixing her bonnet in place.

"And I’ll get you for it." She retorted with a look of mock anger as she swept past him. "Have a good day," she paused at the doorway long enough to add. "I have lunch on the stove. All you have to do is warm it up and we should be home for dinner if I don’t decide to leave them on the side of the road first."

"Bye." Chris chuckled as his wife left the house and thank whatever he believed in that it was she who was undertaking the ordeal because if it were him, he would have taken them to Sweet Water trussed up like calves and gagged.

* * *

Top Hat Bob had been sitting in jail for a long time.

Ever since he was convicted of murdering a number of citizens in the community of Four Corners as well as attempting to repeat the offence on an old woman named Nettie Wells, as a matter of fact. Time had ceased to have any meaning for him in the long years of his imprisonment. It was a hellish thing to be imprisoned and kept out of the light, forced to endure indignities that no man had any business enduring, to see weaker men perish because the agony of their cage became more than they could bear. Bob lived in that hell for almost fourteen years, eating food not good enough for grubs to feed upon, though sometimes they tried for the number of times he had extracted their fat, wriggling bodies from his meals. He had forgotten what fresh air on his skin felt like, becoming forced to endure dank, fetid stench that was prevalent in the prison.

He languished on his hell, wondering each morning he awoke, why he was still alive and cursing the man whom had ensured he would be perfectly healthy in order to suffer his prison term. The man who had been responsible for all the torment he had endured since stepping into this place where he was no longer a human but rather a number on some warder’s book. It came as a revelation to him, though late in the day that his hate for the man kept him alive, kept him breathing because the revenge he envisioned inflicting on his enemy was too powerful to forget. It allowed him to survive his incarceration, let its poison salt his veins and make him hard inside so that anything they did to him would not compare to what he would do to the man who had put him here.

The man named Chris Larabee.

It was Larabee who had trapped him in hell for fourteen long years. The number of wrongs the man had committed against him had begun early in Bob’s life when Larabee had been the cause of his lost eye. Larabee had stolen the victory that should have been his during a wood splitting contest and later on, when Bob tried to redeem himself by taking it out of the man’s hide, Larabee had instead taken his eye. For a long time Bob searched for him but with the war and its eventual end, people were hard to track. Bob lost track of the golden haired youth that was seared into his memory whenever he looked into a mirror and saw that ugly patch where an eye should have been. Then out of nowhere, years after the war had ended; Larabee appeared to him almost magically.

The town of Four Corners was a little nothing in the backwater of the Territory, however with the iron horse that was building its tracks across the nation, the town suddenly became a great deal more. With the coming of the railroad, what was land no one could be paid to tame had suddenly become prime real estate. His employer, a rancher named Guy Royal knew this all too well. Royal immediately embarked upon a quest to acquire all the land that the railroad would eventually need, employing any method necessary to meet that end. Rightful owners were either bought of intimated into leaving and Royal looked set to inherit what would be a fortune in land when it came time for the railroad to make a fortune.

It was inevitable that someone would not be swayed by easy money or threats and to Royal’s surprise, the last holdout had been a feisty widow named Nettie Wells who occupied the small parcel of land with her young niece. It was only after the old lady had sought the assistance of the town’s seven peacekeepers, was Bob brought into the whole affair. What inspired his interest the most was not simply the handsome amount that Royal was paying his hired guns, but the leader this seven lawmen was none other than Chris Larabee. Bob and his men had ridden to Four Corners immediately, with Bob imagining delightful thoughts of inflicting his vengeance upon his hated enemy finally. However, when he found himself face to face with Larabee, Bob had to admit the memory of the young stripling remembered was nothing like the man he faced.

Dressed almost entirely in black, Larabee’s supreme control over the six men beside him was without question and there was an edge to his eyes that made Bob pause a little, though not very much. He had remembered wondering what on Earth could have happened to the man in all those years to change that cocky youth into something so fearsome. However, if Larabee’s appearance was not surprise enough, the man had the audacity to not even remember who he was! Bob had barely been able to conceal his rage as Larabee looked at him with no comprehension of why Bob hated him so, not to mention have any idea of who he was. The indignity of that had driven Bob away because he refused to kill Larabee until the man remembered how he had wronged him.

In the end however, it mattered little whether or not Larabee remembered him because with his six friend, the gunslinger/ peacekeeper managed to beat Bob and his men by protecting the widow and ensuring Guy Royal threatened her no more. Bob who had killed for Royal found himself at Larabee’s mercy and knew that for the deaths he had caused, he would either hang or be locked up in a prison forever. He preferred the former and had begged Larabee to be killed. He had actually begged for his life to end but Larabee wouldn’t even allow him that. So Bob had stood trial and because the judge saw a conspiracy even though Royal could not be implicated, he had commuted the sentence of death to imprisonment, condemning Top Hat Bob to nothing less than hell for the next fourteen years.

Fourteen years of futile belief that he would ever be freed to carry out his revenge, fourteen years of cursing Larabee’s name each morning he woke up and still found himself in the same wretched place. He was sentenced to a lifetime and knew that he would have to die before they ever let him see the outside world again. He had almost resided himself to that fact when a new governor seeking to show his compassionate site the voters who had just elected him, signed the release of several older prisoners, believing them to be too worn and beaten to be any further threat to society. Among the list of names handed to the warden of the prison was Bob’s very own and once again, another miracle saw him in the wide, open spaces he had craved for so long.

He was not exactly an old man but he was not young either and Bob had still enough life in him to come to one conclusion; he still wanted revenge. He did not know whether or not Chris Larabee still lived but if he did, Top Hat Bob would find him and make certain that Larabee never forgot his name again.

* * *

It was inherently clear to him from the very first that there was a vast difference between raising a daughter instead of a son. Before Sarah had come along, Chris had already experienced being a father to a boy four times already. While the first had ended his life far sooner than he should have much to his father’s everlasting sorrow, the other three had been relatively easy to discern once he got to know them. Billy, Chris supposed had been the easiest, because Billy had come ready made and had needed a male presence in his life left void by the death of Stephen Travis. Michael was harder to understand.

Even as child, Michael had this need to do for himself, to prove to everyone and especially to his father Chris had realised following that debacle with the Young brothers, that he could be a Larabee. It was as if for Michael, being his son was some great trial the boy had to be accomplish in order to be proven worthy. It would have been a complete mystery to Chris why Michael was this way if it were not for the memory of his own youth, being the son of General Christopher Marcus Larabee. When Chris thought of it in those terms, he realised that Michael was doing everything Chris used to as a boy to live up to the expectations he believed the General demanded of him, even though later on he would learnt that was never true.

Kyle was easy to understand because even though their physical similarities were the same, he was all Mary inside. Despite being no more than seven, Kyle was Mary’s son in every way that mattered. He had her quiet strength, her determination and ability to persevere when everything around her went to pieces. While Michael was hot headed and prone to react, Kyle was thoughtful and considered the ramifications of his actions not only for himself but those around him. And in that same way that Chris had always felt it necessary to protect Mary, Michael would often fight Kyle’s battles even when the young boy often did not need them fighting.

Sarah however was a complete mystery.

She was only three so she had no real personality to speak of; just a series of eccentricities with the potential for persona. He knew that she liked the yellow dress with the big bow on the back and that she did not like mashed carrot, having been splattered by it during the several occasions when he had braved feeding it to her. He knew she had a habit of sitting on the bed and watching him sleep because there had been more than one occasion when he had woke up to find her simply staring at him with that little smile on her face. He'd asked her about it once and the answer he received was just what he would expect from a three year old, lacking any sense to an adult.

He did not know how long it was until after Mary had gone that he felt this insistent tug at his lower part of his sleeve and looked down to see a small cherubic face crowned in long flaxen colored hair staring up at him.

"Hey there darlin'," Chris smiled at her.

"Hi daddy." She said in that singsong voice that melted his heart in his chest like butter.

"Hungry?" He asked as she climbed into the chair next to him, quite an effort since she was doing it with one hand while the other was clutching her doll. Once she sat down and faced him again, she responded with a little nod, strands of blond hair bouncing of her slight shoulders as she did so.

"Okay," Chris rose to his feet and started towards the pantry. "What would you like?"

A shrug of her shoulders indicated he would have to take a guess. "Up to me huh?" Chris responded and opted for the girl's favorite lemon butter on bread. After removing the appropriate ingredients from the pantry, Chris went through the process of making the meal, his daughter watching in fascination at everything he was doing.

"Crust." She pointed to the edge of the bread and shook her head while producing a little pout showing her disapproval.

"No crust?" Chris raised a brow. "Don't tell me you picked that up from your Uncle Vin."

She smiled and nodded again.

"Great," Chris grumbled as he began removing the crust from the sandwich he had been making. "As if teaching Kyle to spit wasn't bad enough."

When the two men were travelling together, Chris could not remember how many times he had to suppress the urge to shoot the tracker whenever the man started displaying that habit whenever they were seated around a campfire. Neither was he impressed that his daughter had picked up that charming little trait. With a smile, Chris entertained the delicious idea of teaching Sam how to chew tobacco.

"Milk daddy." She reminded when he had presented her with his creation.

"Coming right up." He grinned as he watched a moment as her small hands picked up the slices of bread, which seemed almost oversized in comparison to her tiny fingers and began eating. Chris poured her a cup of milk from the jar of the liquid Mary had on stock and sat down next to her when he had done his fatherly duty to feed his child.

"Well it looks like its you and me today, Sarah." Chris responded as she ate. In truth, he had nothing planned but did not relish spending the entire day indoors either. He considered taking a ride out to the ranch but then abandoned the idea because Mary had taken the wagon and he did not relish having to make the trip on his horse. At Sarah’s age, she was still too young to sit securely in the saddle with him and if anything happened to her because of his carelessness, Chris would never forgive himself. The saloon was out of the question because Mary would skin him alive if he took her daughter into such an improper place. He supposed he could sit a spell outside the jailhouse and read a book. That way at least Sarah could be in the sunshine and he could still keep an eye on her. Mary had picked him up a copy of the latest Jules Verne and he could think of worse things than spending a lazy afternoon indulging in the fantastic of which he had been fortunate enough to experience a number of times during his own life.  
  
After Sarah had finished her meal, he helped her to get dressed an undertaking he had mistakenly believed would be an easy task to accomplish but Sarah had different ideas of her own. She had her heart set on wearing her yellow dress, which unfortunately was sitting at the bottom of a laundry hamper Mary had yet to deal with. After an exhausting effort to convince her that she could not wear that particular dress, Sarah had conceded to making a new selection. Chris wondered whether it was harder trying to change her mind or keep from losing his temper because he knew that if he yelled, it would just provoke a bout of crying he could not even stand when it came from Mary.

Upon leaving the house, Chris found himself setting his small daughter on his shoulders, an action she thoroughly enjoyed because she would spread out of her arms and starting crying out to her daddy that she was flying. It always made Mary nervous when he carried Sarah this way but Chris would never refuse Sarah’s request because it gave him the notion that his little girl would be quite the daredevil when she grew up. Considering her parentage, Chris would be surprised if Sarah were not any other way. Besides, with a house full of brothers, Chris was certain that when the time came she would hold her own. He did not know why he felt this way but a premonition he could not explain made him believe it with all his heart.

The streets of Four Corners was busy this morning, with people moving back and forth down the boardwalks, entering and departing the shops at a brisk pace. There were twice as many businesses on the main street of the town and it pulsed with life, a far cry from the days when he had first arrived, where it had been a dusty, lawless place. So much had changed for him since that parched, windy day he had blew into town like an ill wind, looking for a drink, unaware that he had stumbled into the beginnings of a new life. He still remained very much the same man, dark, fearsome and commanding but there were new facets to him now, most of which was embodied by the golden haired little girl telling her daddy she was a bird. She most of all, made sure that no one would ever call him the bad element again. Not that he minded of course. At his age, it just caused more trouble than it was worth. Besides, these days Chris Larabee was happier being known as a family man rather than the past sobriquet o f his wilder days.

He was almost to the jailhouse when he saw Casey Dunne and her own little girl, Annette. Annette was a pretty little think with long dark hair and a smile that was very much JD’s. Casey did not appear well; she was coughing loudly with one hand covering her mouth as the other held on to Annette. Annette’s expression seemed to convey the concern that Chris was feeling when he saw the violence of the hacking and made Chris wonder if Casey was suffering an ailment that ought to have her home in bed, instead of attempting to carry out chores she appeared unfit to do.

"Hey there Casey, Annette," Chris greeted tipping his hat lightly in the direction of the Dunne women.

"Hello Chris," Casey smiled nervously as she straightened up and shoved the handkerchief she had been using back into the pocket hidden with the folds of her long skirt.

"That’s a nasty cough. You alright?" He asked with real concern and made note to mention it to JD at a later time. Women could be stubbornly evasive when it came to their health.

"Yes I’m fine Chris," she responded wearily "I think I’m just coming down with something."

He could believe it. Even now, he could see the hollowness in her cheeks and the circles under her eyes as if she had not been sleeping well either. "You ought to get some rest." He responded and meant it.

"I will." Casey smiled nervously and Chris who had a nose for trouble better than any man alive suddenly sensed that there was more to this than she let on. It made him doubly determined that he ought to speak to JD as soon as possible, although he would have to word things so that it did not look like he was prying, perhaps just a word in JD’s ear to make the man pay attention. JD was no longer than wet behind the ears kid he had been when he first arrived in Four Corners, he was a man now and not to mention Sheriff. Chris tried to imagine what it was like for someone to tell him how to conduct his business with his family and knew that he had to be subtle because he would not like it any more than JD would.

"So you’re babysitting today." She spoke up in an effort to change the subject he was sure and noticing how uncomfortable she was about it, Chris decided not to the press the issue.

"Yeah," Chris nodded. "Mary took the boys into Sweet Water to get some shoes. They’re just loving that."

"I’m sure," Casey frowned, "I had just as fun time with Adam as Mary is probably having with Mikey and Kyle."

Recalling how stormy Mary’s temperament had been prior to her departure, he could not disagree with that statement on any level. Chris and Casey engaged in small talk for a few more minutes but he could see she was eager to get underway, not to mention both children had started to flinch impatiently. Chris had a feeling that Casey was trying to avoid more questions about her obviously less than good health and felt a sliver of worry at the full implications of her non-disclosure

He hoped for JD’s sake, it was nothing to worry about but his sixth sense told him that they all should start being concerned.

* * *

As anticipated, upon arriving at the jailhouse, Chris found the place empty. JD had made mention of going into Eagle Bend to deliver some prisoners, which accounted for the cells being just as devoid of occupants as the rest of the place. Although JD had been the town’s sheriff for quite some time now, it still surprised Chris how the seven of them always seemed to come together to face major threats to the town. He supposed that aspect of their friendship would never really change although most of the day to day occurrences in town was taken care of easily by JD. He was their lighthouse keeper so to speak and Chris could not help feeling proud that he had in some part contributed to the man JD Dunne had become. Wishing to disturb nothing in the man’s office, Chris found himself a comfortable spot on the front walk of the jailhouse and sat down to read his book. Sarah had an assortment of toys and was just as comfortable on the floor next to him, playing with them.

Despite Four Corners appearance of a hive of bustling activity, the lazy heat of the day was slowing down the pace and people were drifting indoors, while others were disappearing inside saloons. Even the words on the book before him seemed to blur and before he knew it, he had trouble keeping his eyes open. Easing back into the chair and allowing the book to fall forward on his chest, Chris to did not see the harm in closing his eyes for just a second. In the background, he could hear the faint whisper of Sarah’s voice as she spoke to her doll Jemmy, for reasons that only made sense to a child, and the chatter of the people around him.

Just for a second he thought, as he exhaled a deep breath and felt the drowsiness tug at his eyes lids. A second wouldn’t hurt, just a second…

* * *

He woke up a short time later almost with a start and realised almost instantly that he could no longer hear Sarah.

Sitting up abruptly, Chris scoured the length of the front walk and saw no sign of his child. Even her doll Jemmy was missing. A surge of panic overtook him at that instant as he chided himself ferociously at how he could have fallen a sleep while left in charge of a three year old. Fully alert now, his penetrating green eyes swept over the length of the street before him and saw no sign of Sarah. The sight of horses riding hard past him made his heart skip a beat before he told himself to calm down and not let his imagination get away with him. If Sarah had run out into the street, the commotion such a tragedy had caused would have woke him long before this. He opened the door to the jailhouse and made certain she was not there when the sweep of the streets produced no trace of where Sarah had been taken.

Inside the jailhouse was no sign of the golden haired little girl and Chris was starting to become more than alarmed. Nothing could make him panic more than a threat to his children and Sarah, she was barely out of her infancy. How could he be so damned irresponsible? He should have never have left the house! All these recriminations followed him when Chris left the jailhouse and strode purposefully towards home, hoping against hope that perhaps Sarah had wondered off and someone coming across her might have returned her there. That was the advantage of living in a small town where everyone was known to one another.

Bursting through the back door of his house, Chris immediately called out. "Sarah!"

He was hoping against hope that that little girl would announce herself in one of her single word responses but was only greeted with silence following his initial call. He went through the entire house hoping that she was there but came away from his search a few minutes later with the same disappointing results as when he had searched the streets. For a moment, Chris was trapped between not knowing what to do and tearing Four Corners apart in his continued search. Dark thoughts began to invade his consciousness on whether or not the reason for Sarah’s disappearance had some sinister elements linked to it. He swallowed thickly, assailed by thoughts of Adam and knew that it was not wise to go down that road. He needed to be clear about this.

Chris was pondering this possibility when he became aware of someone twisting the doorknob of his kitchen door. There was an instant of pure horror, when he thought it might be Mary returning home early from her shopping trip to Sweet Water and how he was going to explain to her that he had lost their daughter. However, when the door swung open it was not Mary or in fact anyone he knew that was making their way stealthily into his house but rather a stranger who made his entrance led by a gun. The man was big and ugly, with a scar running up one side of his face and had the look of a hired gun well past his prime.

Their eyes met and in a split second of awkwardness realized that they were enemies.

Chris was unarmed as the intruder to his house discerned quickly and immediately went for his guns upon that realization. The former gunslinger had barely enough time to throw himself into the adjoining room, before bullets tore through the space he had occupied in the corridor. Chris rolled onto the hard floor of the parlor and immediately went for the gun holster that was hanging high on a hook on the wall. While Michael was old enough to know better, both Mary and Chris had come to the unanimous decision that wherever they were to be stored would be well out of reach of either Kyle or Sarah. Kyle was more the danger now because he was an inquisitive sort and Chris knew too many horror stories of children who had learnt the hard way what weapons could do to flesh. He snatched the worn and leather gun belt off the hook just before the gunmen in his house fired again. This time Chris was forced to take refuge behind to old divan left to Mary by her grandmother.

As his assailant open fire on the antique piece of furniture, Chris swore in anger seeing the Edwardian antique splintered by numerous bullets. Its innards exploded out of freshly made holes in the fabric, sending cotton in all directions. Hastily, Chris slipped fastened his gun belt into place and listened closely as there was a sudden pause in the shooting. He counted at least six bullets fired, which meant this lapse was due to the shooter’s need to reload. Chris took the opportunity to do so himself and for a few seconds, an unspoken race took place between the two men as their fingers moved furiously to fill the chamber of their guns first.

Chris was a little faster, having had the advantage of beginning the process almost as soon as he was forced behind the sofa. The years had not dulled his edge and when Chris emerged to make a return attack, he was determined not to kill his attacker but rather wound him. It was too much of a coincidence that this man should emerge in the same hour as his discovery that Sarah was missing. Even as the thought surfaced inside him, Chris felt his stomach knotting in anger at the callousness of men who would take small children as hostages to use as blackmail against terrified parents. The intruder was just snapping the chamber of his gun into place when Chris stood and fired. One bullet caught the man in the shoulder, the other in the foot. Both were more than enough to bring him down.

He uttered a heavy cry and fell down on the floor; the gun still clutched in his hand. Chris hurried forward; not about to allow the man a chance to use the weapon again no matter how much pain the man appeared to be in. In his experience, it was such assumptions that could cost a man his life and Chris was too weathered by a lifetime of danger to forget that. Chris approached the man cautiously; the peacemaker aimed directly at his chest. Chris wanted him to see that the previous shots fired had struck him exactly where it was intended, that his survival was no random attribute of chance but a cold deliberate act to show him that for the moment Chris needed him alive. The instant he ceased to become valuable would se him dead.

"Let it go." Chris ordered. "I’ll kill you before you even have the chance to pull the trigger."

The man deliberated that point for a moment, his face a grimace of pain as the flow of blood from his wounds seeped into the wood, staining it with crimson that was next to impossible to remove. After a tense minute where Chris was uncertain whether or not he would be actually stupid enough to shoot, the man released the Remington revolver, allowing it to strike the floor with a dull thud. He looked up at Chris with hate filled eyes and for an instant of time, neither man spoke. The former mostly because he was the loser in this gun battle when he ought to have been the victor and the latter who was attempting to remember if the face before him had any significance that he seemed unable to discern at the moment. Finally it was Chris who spoke first.

"Where the hell is my daughter?" Chris asked, his voice a harsh whisper.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about." The man retorted, his eyes did not betray him and his voice was a cold sneer.

"Where is she?" Chris growled and kicked hard enough to connect with the man’s jaw and sent him rolling onto his stomach. He groaned in pain and began to pant at the agony of it as Chris took a step forward and put down his boot on his wounded shoulder, determined to get an answer, even if it was through his screams. "I ain’t gonna ask again, where is she?"

"I don’t know!" The man finally grunted. "It wasn’t part of the plan to take the girl!"

"What plan?" Chris demanded further.

"I ain’t staying nothing!" The man glowered, a brief surge of defiance makings its appearance. Chris slammed his boot down onto the same wounded shoulder, drawing another sharp cry of pain.

"I ain't asking again." Chris said pulling back the hammer of his gun. The action made a loud click, which seemed to capture his would be killer's attention far more potently than anything else he had done so far. "What about the plan?"

The man swallowed thickly, comprehending by the glint in Chris' eye that he was not bluffing. The gun in his hand spoke volumes about what he was prepared to do in order to regain his child and though the would be killer had no wish to incur the wrath of his leader, was ill prepared to die on this floor right this minute either. "It was Top Hat Bob's plan."

"Bob's dead." Chris growled but even as he said it the denial was fading fast from his mind. It was possible. When he had put Top Hat Bob in front of Orin Travis for judgement, the old adversary had not been sentenced to hang but rather forced to spend the rest of his life in prison. Chris recalled how Bob had begged to be killed to be spared that hell. Chris had refused, having no wish to cause any more bloodshed then there had already been in the issue of Guy Royal and his collecting activities who had been Bob's employer at the time. Yes, there was every possibility that Bob could not only be alive but be harboring a deep seeded vengeance spawned for the last fourteen years languishing in a prison that Chris had sent him to.

And this was the man who had his little girl.

"Where is he?" Chris glared at the man again. This time is tone was decidedly different from that anxious father. This was voice that oozed danger in every word, a voice that could very well be the last thing one heard before dying. It was a voice that needed not need to repeat himself.

"I don't know," the man answered without hesitation. "I was supposed to torch the house since you and the little was out. I didn't know nothing about kidnapping the kid, I swear!"

"You were going to burn my house?" Chris glared at him. He thought of how his home had been burnt down once before and what he had lost as when the ashes had cooled. The consequences had changed him in ways that could never be truly understood and to hear that this pathetic animal had attempted to do it again, to the home he shared with Mary and their children paralyzed him with rage. He was almost ready to kill the man for the audacity of that threat but instead dragged him man to his feet. This was no easy feat considering his attacker had a bullet in his ankle and cried out in agony as he was forced to put weight on the injured limbs.

"I ought to kill you," Chris retorted, jamming the gun into the man's side as Chris used one of his hands to keep him on his feet. "But I want to know where Bob is right now."

"We were supposed to meet outside of town at Baker's past." The man responded with a groan cutting off his last word. "I was supposed to torch the house and he was supposed to come after you in town!"

"But instead he decided to take my daughter is that it?" Chris demanded, shoving him forward so that the man felt flat on his face with another agonized cry of pain.

"I don't know!" His victim almost sobbed from the pain. "I guess so! He hates you pretty bad Larabee! He wanted to kill you!"

"Yeah, he's been wanting that a long time." Chris grumbled and went forward to help the man upright again. He could not waste too much time dealing with this injured man, especially when he had to find Sarah. Chris could not even imagine what his little girl was enduring in the hands of a vicious killer like so called 'Marshall' Top Hat Bob Spikes who had an infinity for fire. Suddenly, the idea that Sarah might be endure the same fate as Adam almost stopped Chris' chest in his heart from the overwhelming fear running through him.

God help him, he had to stop it. He just had to. He could not endure losing another child to the flame. Not again.

* * *

With Nathan at the Indian reservation providing medical services to the small community and Alex still at home nursing newborn baby Daniel, Chris had little choice but to tend to his prisoner in the jailhouse with only the most rudimentary of skills. He made sure the man did not bleed to death and stopped victimizing him, which was about as much gentle handling he was going to receive from Chris Larabee. Considering what he had been intending to do to the Larabee home, Chris felt he ought to consider himself lucky that Chris had not killed him for the intention alone. However, JD would not have taken too kindly to that and Chris supposed he was not the same man who used to kill indiscriminately in the years ago. He was a husband and a father and his consideration for his family made him pause because the consequences of such an act would ultimately harm them and he would risk nothing in the face of that.

Upon leaving the jailhouse after ensuring that his prisoner, whose name he learn was Mackay, Chris made his way back to the house. He needed to get riding after Bob immediately and there was no time to waste. Sensibly, he ought to ride out to the ranch and get Vin and Buck but Chris could not imagine leaving Sarah to languish in Bob's clutches for the time it would take for him to accomplish that. Anything could happen during that time and usually would unless he was there to stop it. His fears for Sarah's life was clouding his judgement, he knew that. However, she was his daughter and he could not imagine being any other way when it came to her safety.

Chris returned to the house long enough to get extra ammo for his guns and his rifle. He would ride out to Baker Pass and so help him if they have harmed one hair on Sarah's head, he would kill the lot of them. He thought of leaving Mary a note, to tell her what had happened and could not bring himself to put pen to paper and tell his wife how he had lost Sarah, as it was he could not even imagine the lapse that had allowed such a thing to happen. Chris made his way to the livery and started riding towards Baker's Pass, telling no one of his departure. He thought of how afraid Sarah must be and felt his heart ache with guilt at his baby girl in the hands of someone like Bob Spikes made him dig his heels harder into his horse as he thundered harder towards Bakers Pass.

He did not know how long he had actually gotten before the panic that had captured his thoughts began to ease a little and he considered his actions a little more closely as the approach to the Pass loomed nearer and nearer. If he rode in there with guns blazing, it was likely he would get himself killed or worse yet, Sarah. He had to think and use the wit that had allowed him to survive the vengeance of countless enemies in the past. He had to be smarter than Top Hat Bob if he was going to get his daughter. Actually, now that he pondered the thought a little further, he had to confess that Bob must have been a fool to kidnap his daughter in broad daylight while sending some thug to burn down the Larabee home. Then again, Bob was never very crafty to begin with. He was used to using his guns and his fists to speak for him and fortunately, neither were very articulate. It was one of the reasons Chris did not even bother to kill the man during their last encounter.

It was early afternoon when Chris arrived at Baker's Pass. He had ridden hard to get there as soon as possible but as he approached the area where Bob was supposed to be, Chris slowed down his pace in order to keep his arrival a secret for the time being. In broad daylight, the danger of discovery was great and Chris would risk nothing getting in the way of his reaching Sarah, not even his own impatience. He climbed of his horse and continued the rest of the journey to the small ravine that Mackay had claimed was Bob's hiding place. He moved stealthily forward, ensuring that he was not heard as he closed in on his prey. After nearly fourteen years having a best friend who was the best tracker in the Territory, Chris knew quite a bit about sneak approaches.

It was not long before he heard voices speaking and Chris kept his head low behind the ridge of rocks that allowed him to approach unseen. There were at least three of them, he discerned as he continued to listen for a while, hoping that he would have some idea of the situation before he was forced to act. He could not hear Sarah but while that could be construed as a good thing, it also sent his imagination into dark and sinister places, conjuring explanations as to why she could not be heard speaking and that renewed the cold fear he felt at harm coming upon her.

"I told you it was a bad idea." Someone who was younger and did not sound like grizzled Top Hat Bob declared. Of course Chris could not be sure because it had been years since he had even spoken to the man and even then, Chris had not spent enough time with him to be certain about such things.

"A good ol' fire is just that the thing Larabee needs." Someone growled in response. It was a sneering voice full of anger, weariness and age. Chris did not have to look to know that this was Top Hat Bob. The comment about the fire being the thing he needed incensed Chris to no end but he remained silent because he wanted to know if Sarah was alive and well and continued to listen.

"I heard how his wife and kid got burned alive so I want him to be thinking about that before I come after that pretty little wife of his." Bob added.

Chris began to wonder just how long Bob had been watching him and felt somewhat shocked that he had managed to let it happen without being the wiser. A few years ago, something like this would never have happened. Had his sixth sense deteriorated to such a point that he now endangered his family? It was the same lapse that had allowed him to fall asleep while watching his daughter, he told himself scathingly. He had lost his edge! Marriage and children had made him soft. How could he have let that happened? How could he let his guard down after what had happened to Sarah and Adam?

"Come on Bob," the third man spoke up. "Maybe we ought to think about this. You're free for the first time in fourteen years. You know we friends and I'd do anything for you but if you get caught, they'll hang you."

"A hanging was what I wanted!" Bob snarled loudly and a sharp clang of metal followed the sound of liquid splashing against the ground. Chris peered over the edge of his hiding place and saw the contents of a metal cup draining into the soil near the man who had made the offending remark. The years had not been kind to Top Hat Bob, who no longer wore the hat but still had the eye path. His face was like worn leather saddle bags and his face contorted into a permanent scowl.

"All he had to do was hang me!" Bob continued his tirade. "But no, he had to hand me to that Judge who locked me up in that prison! I would have rather died than go there! I got stuck in that hell for 14 years while Larabee was out in the world, making babies with that wife of his. Well, I'm gonna show him what hell is! I'm gonna put him in the cell and see how he likes it."

"Well Mackay ain't back!" The first speaker repeated himself. He appeared just as worn and haggard as Bob and it took Chris a few seconds to realise that these were the men that had ridden with Bob almost fourteen years ago. Had Bob sought out all the members of his gang from so long ago in order to exact this belated vengeance upon him? "Larabee ain't no fool Bob, Mackay's slow and a drunk. He's been living inside a bottle for the last couple of years. I don't know why you think he could do something like this."

"You want to leave is that it Dwayne?" Bob stood up and went to the younger man with the balding head and the week's growth on his face. "You want to tuck tail and run back to your dirt farm?"

"It ain't no dirt farm," Dwayne said defiantly. "It's my land and it's been awful good to me the last 14 years."

"Sure it has." Bob crossed the space between them and downed the man with a swift blow to the jaw. Dwayne tumbled against the small outcrop of rock in their camp, his cheek impacting hard against the stone. Chris saw him cry out in pain following a wet crunch of sound. Blood spurted jerkily from his mouth as he reeled in pain.

"The only reason you got that dirt farm is because of the money you got working for me! You cleared out when Larabee and his men got your hands on me didn't ya Dwayne, run off like some yellow bellied coward and left me to rot!"

Chris quickly came to the conclusion that Bob was not only getting too old for this and having serious morale problems with his men but Bob did not sound entirely in his right mind. Suddenly Chris realised that he may never have a better opportunity to get the drop on these men than at the present moment. Besides, he was having a tough time restraining himself when he considered that his little girl might be in the power of a man whose mind was as unhinged as Bob's. He had recalled how Billy had been effected when Ella Gaines had kidnapped him and no way was Chris going to allow Sarah to suffer the same terror.

Standing up, he was barely noticed because Bob was still shouting at Dwayne. The third man in the group, whose name had yet to surface, was holding him back, trying to keep him off Dwayne who was still on the ground, holding his face as blood oozed out of his mouth. "I thought I was gonna be facing a real dangerous band of outlaws, not a bunch of old men squawking like hens."

"Larabee!" Bob swung around before anyone else did, recognizing instantly the voice of his hated enemy.

"I told you Mackay was gonna foul it up!" Dwayne managed to say, mildly comforted in his pain by this vindication.

"If you meant the idiot who tried to burn down my house, you were right." Chris glared at the three men, his peacemaker drawn and ready to fire the first one who went for his gun. Fortunately, they had been so busy bickering that he had well and truly caught them unawares and wondered to himself how men so incompetent could manage the small feat of stealing his daughter from under his nose without anyone being the wiser.

"There's three of us Larabee," Bob hissed, not about to give up just yet. "One of you. You think you can get us all before we kill you?"

"Probably not but you're gonna be the first one to die," Chris said with complete confidence of that fact and proved it when he aimed the gun straight at Bob's chest. The others made no move to stop him because as much time had passed since their last encounter, Chris was still in better shape than any of the men present, not to mention his shooting reflexes were just as sharp as they had ever been. He was more than capable of killing Bob and anyone else who tried to stop him. "Personally I don't give a rat's ass what you do Bob, I just want my daughter."

Bob stared at him sharply and for a moment silence ensued. Chris deduced quickly that the kidnapping of Sarah Larabee came as a complete surprise to both of Bob's companions and they looked at each other with dumbfounded expressions. It was Dwayne who spoke first although through a mouthful of broken teeth, he did not make any real sense at first. Chris thought he might offer something tangible to save himself because Bob did not look ready to offer Chris any information. Chris had more or less expected Bob to withhold the information out of sheer spite and felt his fears for his obviously absent child deepen. Where was she if Bob did not have her here? What had the bastard done to his daughter?

"WHERE IS SHE?" Chris fairly shouted, impatient at the lack of any answer.

"Bob you didn't say nothing about hurting no little girl!" Dwayne managed to say

"SHUT UP!" Bob barked at Dwayne.

"Mister we don't know nothing about a little girl." The third man pleaded Chris, perfectly aware at how unhinged a father worried about his child could become.

"Orville, just cause you don't know nothing, doesn't mean I ain't got her." Bob retorted, glaring triumphantly at Chris as he said those words.

"Bob I ain't crazy enough to die for you!" The man named Orville bit back. "I was crazy to follow you out here in the first place!" He faced Chris again and said quickly. "Mister, he ain't got your little girl. He's been with us all the time, he didn't have time to go into town to get her. We sent Mackay out this morning but that was only to burn you house! We was never in town today!"

"You traitorous yellow bellied scum!" Bob exploded again, almost forgetting about the fact that Chris had a gun on him and made a step towards Orville, preparing to wrap his hands around the man's throat when Chris swung his arm and brought the gun across Bob's face, halting the former Marshall in his tracks. The squelch of bone followed a grunt of pain from the man as he fell backwards clumsily and landed on his rump with a heavy thud against the dirt.

"I ain't gonna ask again!" Chris declared, refusing to believe these men had nothing to do with Sarah's disappearance. It was a lie. It had to be! The alternative was an even more horrifying possibility then Bob having her in his clutches and that was the possibility of having no idea where she was at all.

"Its true Mister!" Dwayne stuttered. "We ain't got her."

Chris stared at both men for a long moment, his mind fighting the disbelief and his natural parental fears to see the situation in its true light. There was no denying that Bob could simply breeze into town and take his child from him in broad daylight with no one seeing a thing was impossible. It had been a busy day and people were moving back and forth down the street. People in Four Corners had seen enough bad elements in their time, himself included to be able to miss noticing someone like Top Hat Bob in their midst. The two men who made up Bob's entourage may have been hired guns once more but 14 years had changed them. Orville's hands were hard and worn, the kind of wear and tear that one sees in hands accustomed to working the lands for a living. The same went for Dwayne who most likely did have a dirt farm somewhere out there in the Territory. However, what convinced Chris more than anything else was not what they wore or said in their defense but the look in their eyes.

He saw fear.

They were afraid. In understanding that, he understood everything. They were too afraid to be lying to him. At this moment, both had realised that this attempt to recapture their youth by following Bob on his bid for vengeance was most likely to get them kill then revisit them with any feelings of former glory, that is if they ever had any to begin with. No, they did not have Sarah and he was wasting time with them because she was out there somewhere and he had no idea where to even begin looking. He had wasted enough time on Top Hat Bob, an enemy who had been more of an inconvenience more than anything else. Besides, looking down at this old man, full of anger and regret, he was more to be pitied than he was to be killed. Still Chris was taking no chances of Bob misunderstanding him.

"Bob," Chris looked down at the man, staring at him in anger, wanting nothing but to kill. "I'm sorry."

Top Hat Bob's eyes widened in shock but said nothing.

Chris did not wait for a response and chose to continue. "I'm sorry about your eye and I'm sorry I didn't hang your carcass to dry fourteen years ago but come near me and my family again and I swear you I won't kill you. I'll make sure you'll end up in that prison again and I'll see to it that you rot before you ever see daylight again. You got past me once, you ain't gonna get the chance. I'll be watching for you Bob and if so much as a hair fall out of place on any of my family's head, I'll come gunning for you and by God, I'll get you."

"You go to hell Larabee," Top Hat Bob hissed angrily but Chris could tell that though his mind wanted vengeance, his body was deteriorating fast. The way the crows knew a man was going to die soon, Chris could tell that Top Hat Bob was not long for this world.

If Chris did not find Sarah alive, he would already be there.

 

* * *

Chris returned to Four Corners after ensuring that Top Hat Bob Spikes and his so-called 'gang' were riding into the distance before he turned his back on them and started home himself. Chris had ensured that he relieved all the men of their weapons and as he saw Bob riding into the distance, a pathetic creature who had been twisted into a shadow of a human being in some of misguided need for vengeance, Chris almost felt pity for the man. However, any compassion he might have felt for Bob was erased by when he remembered what Bob had intended to do to him and to Mary. Perhaps it would have been more sensible to kill Bob there and then but now that Chris was aware of him and the danger, there was no way Bob would ever get close enough to him to be a threat again. Besides, he could not waste time with Bob when Sarah was still missing and he had no idea whom could have taken her. Chris rode back to town, dreading the moment when he would have to explain to Mary that she was gone and how he had lost her in the first place.

He told himself as he entered town limits, that there would be no foolishness this time. He should have never attempted the search without the others. Seven minds were better than one and his seemed to be at his best when his closest friends surrounded him. They seemed to bring out the best in him and he really needed to be at his best now if he was going to find Sarah. It was late afternoon when he finally returned to town and if Mary was not home yet, she soon would be. He left his horse at the livery and made his way home, intending to remain there long enough to see Mary before he would seek out the others who would have surely returned to town by now.

"Hey Chris!" Rain Jackson called out as he walked past Nathan's clinic on his way home. When Alex and Vin had moved out to the ranch, Alex had let out the premises to Nathan in order for him not only to have a clinic fit for a real doctor but also the residence above was a perfect home for himself and his family.

"Rain," Chris tipped his hat in her direction even though he felt not at all sociable.

"Where have you been?" Rain demanded. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"What is it?" Chris looked at her sharply, wondering if things could get any worse after losing Sarah.

"Well I thought you'd want to know where your daughter is." Rain gave him a hard stare that spoke volumes regarding what she thought of his baby sitting abilities.

Chris' eyes widened and he grabbed the slender dark woman by her shoulders and demanded. "You know where Sarah is?"

"Of course I do," Rain stared at back at him in confusion and pulled herself out of reach as she continued to explain. "She's been at the house playing with Rebecca!"

"Playing with Rebecca?" Chris mouthed, unable to believe that he had been twisting himself with knots, had ridden out to kill Top Hat Bob and all this time his daughter was safe and sound, playing with what passed for her best friend at this age? "You took my daughter without telling me?" He almost shouted at her.

"You were asleep!" Rain barked back, full of annoyance now. "Your little girl could have run out into the street and get run over by horses. Do you have any idea how far a three year old can get when you're not looking? I took her with me because it was safer and because I could keep an eye out for her while you snoozed."

"You could have woken me!" Chris declared in exasperation, unable to deny that she was right. Any number of things could have happened to Sarah during his lapse. If anything, the situation he had found himself this afternoon was a perfect example of what could happen if one let down one's guard. Mary had told him that Sarah could be a handful and because she was three and a girl, he had underestimated just how much. Although technically Sarah had done nothing wrong. She was not the one who fell asleep.

"Are you kidding?" She looked at him as if he were mad. "I know not to poke a rattlesnake when it's asleep."

Chris was starting to get a headache but at least he could rest easy knowing Sarah was safe. "Where is she now?"

"Come on," Rain sighed and shook her head as she led him into the clinic and up the stairs into the home above the premises.

Following her into one of the smaller rooms, Chris could feel the aroma of something savory emanating from the kitchen and felt his stomach rumble in reaction. In all this chaos, he had forgone a meal but was glad that it was probably not the case for Sarah. Rain would have seen to it that she got a meal and kept a close eye on her and not fallen asleep. It was going to be a long time before he let himself forget how careless he had been, not only with Sarah's keeping but allowing someone like Top Hat Bob to keep surveillance on his family without Chris being the wiser. It was lapses like this that had resulted in the death of his first wife and his son Adam, Chris would never let down his guard again, no matter how much he had changed. In some things, he had to remain vigilant or pay the price.

"There she is." Rain gestured through the crack of a door and Chris peered through and found himself looking into Rebecca Jackson's room. Colorful pictures covered the wall and toys were strewn on the floor. In the bed, amidst the covers was Sarah, fast asleep next to Rebecca. Chris felt his heart melt at the precious sight of both little girls and suddenly felt all his doubt and anger give way for the sheer gratitude of knowing that his little girl was safe.

"Thank you Rain." He pulled back and stared at the lovely woman who had been his friend almost as long as the six men he rode with. She had been part of the adventure that had bonded them and he was glad that she and Nathan still together. She had loved Nathan enough to let him go even though it was likely he would never come back, Chris respected her greatly for that. "I ain't gonna tell you how scared I was."

Rain raised her hand to his cheek and smiled. "It was my pleasure Chris."

* * *

 

Chris had returned home, and put Sarah promptly to bed, having not stirred the entire journey from the Jackson household to her bed, convincing Chris that her day had almost been as full as his minus the former outlaws and gunfire. Chris slumped down on one of the chairs at the kitchen table after pouring himself a stiff drink, since he decided after the day he had just experienced, he surely deserved it. He was just about to raise the glass to his lips when suddenly, he heard the sound of a horse and wagon coming up to the rear of the house. Instinctively, he pulled of his dark duster, unhooked his gun belt and tossed both items under the table where they could remain hidden for the moment.

Chris heard Mary's voice clearly ordering the boys who apparently were not about to waste what daylight was left by being indoors, to be home before supper before he heard her footsteps approach the kitchen door. Chris took a deep swallow from the contents of his glass and reached for the copy of the Clarion News that was lying across the table. He had forgotten something, he could not remember what but there was no time to debate the situation because he did not want Mary to think that he had been unable to handle things in her absence. It was bad enough that she had thought him incapable of looking after Sarah on his own but her to find out what ha had been through this past day would simply be more than his ego could stand.

"Oh thank God I'm home." Mary gushed as she burst through the door and dropped the parcels she was carrying in her arms on the table.

"Hey Mary." Chris was a picture of nonchalance as he said with a completely neutral voice. "How were the boys or do I need to ask?"

Mary paused a moment and caught her breath as she glared at him. "Suffice to say the next time we go shopping, you can take them."

"That bad?" Chris asked.

" _Your_  sons made a salesman cry." Mary growled. "I almost considered taking the poor man to the saloon for a drink."

"How come they're my sons when they make salesmen cry and yours when they do good in school?" Chris pointed out.

Mary looked at him with a sweet smile. "Because you weren't the one who went through a Caesarian section with Michael, or 20 hours of labor with Kyle or 9 hours with Sarah. Need I say more?"

"Are you trying to make me feel bad?" He gave her a look.

"Is it working?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Pretty well," Chris frowned and let the subject drop. He was not going to win the argument anyway.

"So how was Sarah?" Mary asked as she put the kettle on the stove for a well-earned pot of tea.

"Oh fine," Chris responded with perfect innocence. "She and Rebecca played together for awhile and now she's asleep."

"Oh that's nice, you took her over to Rain's?" Mary glanced over her shoulder long enough to ask.

"More or less." Chris shrugged, wondering what it was he had forgotten. It was really starting to nag at him now.

"Well I'm really proud of you." Mary smiled at him as she came back towards the table, planting a kiss on his forehead when she reached him. "I thought you might have a little difficulty with her."

"Nah," Chris said confidently, "not any at all. Problem with you Mary, is you don't think I could look out for my own little girl."

"Well you do keep thinking that a girl is so much easier to look after than a boy." Mary replied as she started towards the corridor, "that's a mistake."

"I don't think that no more," Chris was reluctantly forced to concede that point. "You're right, she's is a handful."

"Of course she is," Mary smiled proudly. "She's  _our_  daughter."

Chris could not disagree with that. Sarah was a Larabee and Larabees no matter what the age, seemed to be a magnet for trouble. He had no doubt that today was merely a preview of many more instances in the future where Sarah would undoubtedly drive him crazy but then again, she was no different from Billy, Michael or Kyle so he supposed he had better get used to it. For the moment at least, Chris was grateful that everything had turned out so well.

A scream tore through his ears and reminded Chris what he had forgotten most succinctly.

"CHRIS LARABEE, ARE THOSE BULLET HOLES IN MY GRANDMOTHER'S DIVAN?"


	3. Congratulations Vin, It’s A Girl!

 

On the night that Daniel was born, Vin Tanner realized that he finally had the son he wanted. Strangely enough, by then this traditional need to have a son had dwindled into a living testament to the existence of a sense of humor in all things connected to fate. Vin supposed that it was a sign of growth that by the time that Daniel came along, he no longer cared what gender his child would be, having learnt an important lesson long ago that it did make the least bit of difference. There was a time when it made a world of difference but that that time was long past because Vin had learnt that children could surprise you when you least expected it.

His  _daughter_  had taught him that.

When Samantha Tanner had been born, Vin was not upset that she had been a girl. Not at all, she was a beautiful little girl that had captured his heart the moment he had first laid eyes on her. From the onset, she was an exotic looking child because her features were an amalgamation of Alex and him. He could not help being bewitched by his Sammie, no matter what her gender. As an infant, she had tugged at his heartstrings the same way her mother had and he adored his little girl with just as much passion. However, he could not deny that somewhere deep inside of him, was this feeling he suppressed because he had no business having it, which could be best described as a little disappointment.

Prior to her birth, Vin had feared having a daughter because there was so little he could teach to a girl. What use would any of his knowledge be to a girl? The things he knew, to ride, shoot and to track was of absolutely no use to a girl and he felt somewhat sorry that he could not pass them on because these were important things to know. This was what he had spent his life becoming and as selfish as it was, he did not want to see it lost. He did not want to think that the sum of his life’s experience would simply fade away with him. Vin wanted to leave something of himself with his children and came to the conclusion that it simply could not be that way with a girl.

Buck had told him it was natural to have such doubts. He himself had held similar worries when Elena Rose had been born but as the days passed, he discovered that he had a way to understand women that he never had before, to see how their thoughts were shaped, how their personalities developed, simply by watching his daughter. Elena had taught him a great deal and the really important things she needed to know did not matter whether or not she was a boy or girl, Buck could teach her those things all the same. He told Vin that it would be the same with his own child when it was born, that gender was a conception left behind by traditionalist and the women they loved were a living testament to that fact. Inez, Mary, Alex, Rain, Audrey, Casey and Julia were all women who accepted life on their own terms and dared to be different because they could. Buck pointed out to Vin that labeling as being incapable of accepting the lessons he had to teach was unfair on a child not even born yet.

He was pleased to say that when she was born, Vin learnt that Buck was right. That there was a great deal he could teach Sam, even if they weren’t the things he had wanted to pass on but had rather taken for granted in their importance. The values that had defined him, the dedication to truth, to keep one’s word, to always be there for friends and watch their back no matter what. Those were things that did not need gender to be taught; they were what made a person worth knowing. Sam had absorbed all this in and though she was not what he expected, she did not fail to make him proud at every turn. From the earliest, she displayed Alex’s analytical mind while at the same time inheriting his stubborness and determination to never give up on anything.

Like most children, she disappeared with her friends once she was old enough and Vin saw Sam only in the evenings when she came into supper. Usually, her playmates were young Mikey and Elena Rose but when she turned seven, started to spend more and more of her time with Penelope Standish, with Adam Dunne running after the two all the time. Neither of the two children seemed adapted to life outdoors, Penny liking her fancy clothes just like Ezra and Adam was more into book reading. Vin accepted all this with a deep sigh of resignation, telling himself that it was unreasonable to believe Sam would turn out any differently; after all she  _was_  female. His daughter had good qualities and he loved her for all the things she was not and all the things that she was.

Therefore, he was quite stunned the day he discovered that he did not know anything about Sam at all. 

* * *

"Why do you got to do this  _every_  time we leave your house?" Penelope Standish asked as she waited impatiently for Samantha Tanner to discard the dress she was wearing and slip into the overalls that she had squirreled away in the bag she had been carrying when they came away from the Tanner residence.

"Because!" Sam said impatiently as she fastened the straps over one shoulder of the old pair of denim overalls that had once belonged to Michael. She had cut the legs so they weren’t too long for her and would have foregone the whole business of shoes if not for the fact that it was unwise to wandering around in the woods without them.

"Because?" Penny waited impatiently for an answer as Sam stepped out of the cover of the tree she had used to change and appeared finally ready to get on with their day. "Because what? Why can’t you just wear what you want?"

"You can come out now Adam," Sam called out and Adam Dunne emerged from the place he had withdrawn to allow Sam her modesty while she changed out of her clothes. "Because my dad expects me to be a proper young lady like my mom." Sam continued with exasperation in her voice, as if she had not already explained this to Penny a hundred times before. "He’d just die if he knew I was running around like this."

"You mean like a boy?" Penny teased.

"Not like a boy," Sam gave her a look. "Boys are dumb. They’re always rushing off doing things before they think about it."

"Hey!" Adam protested. "I’m not dumb."

"You’re but you’re not the regular kind either." Sam pointed out.

"What’s the regular kind?" He looked at her.

"Every other boy." Penny retorted. "Except Peter."

"Why’s Peter so different?" Sam asked as the trio resumed the journey from town to their favourite watering hole.

"Well he almost killed daddy when he said he wanted to build things with his  _hands_." Penny replied, still reliving the incident at the dinner table when Peter claimed quite proudly that he was going to be an engineer that he wanted to work with his hands and build things. Mommy had taken it quite well but daddy, she sighed, she did not think she had ever seen his so horrified and that included the time when Peter tried to shave with his razor.

"So what’s wrong with that?" Adam asked pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Your dad used to be a gambler, he used his hands all the time."

"In daddy’s opinion, a gentlemen should not be reduced to performing menial labor." She recited for them the words she and Peter had grown up with. Grandma Maude was just as determined about this fact as daddy was.

"Gentleman?" Sam snorted with disbelief. "We talking about the same Peter who can spit further than any one of us?"

"I can’t believe he’s my brother, a lady of  _my_  refinement." Penny said in a breathy voice. The ‘actress’ voice Sam and Adam had come to call it.

"Oh brother!" Sam groaned before she and Adam started giggling. It was not long before Penny joined them.

As friendships went, the triumvirate that was composed of Samantha Tanner, Penelope Standish and Adam Dunne was a peculiar one. Their differences were so distinct that it was almost impossible to understand why they could be friends at all. While Sam was rough and tumble, Penny was always the lady and Adam seemed to be more introspective, enjoying them both while rarely making content, preferring to observe the two strong willed young girls who were his best friends. To their parents however, the dynamic of their friendship was not so odd because it was just as unlikely as a gunslinger, a tracker, a gambler, a healer, a scoundrel, a preacher and a kid forging a bond that had lasted more than a decade and likely would continue for the rest of their lives.

The watering hole was in actual fact the offshoot of the river that ran past the Wells’ property. The children had been visiting it for as long as they were old enough to do so. Billy Travis and Lilith King had begun the tradition when they had started taking Mike, Elena Rose and Sam there and then later on, the others as well. Now it was their favourite home away from home, even though Billy and Lilith no longer joined them. Billy was too busy at West Point these days and Lilith was helping Mrs Larabee at the paper. They continued to visit the watering hole, always together because Billy had been relentless about making them understand that there was safety in numbers. Billy’s reason for this had something to do with their parentage. Apparently, he was of the belief that the children of the seven were just as capable of getting into trouble as their parents.

Of course, he spoke from experience.

Everyone was already there when Sam, Penny and Adam arrived at the watering hole. Elena Rose was sitting on the edge of the embankment, her feet disappearing into the water. She saw them first and immediately waved brightly.

"Where have you been?" Elena asked. "We thought you got lost in the woods."

"That’s not likely with Sam around." Mike stated as he, Tommy and Peter were engaging in a game of skipping stones. "Although you can’t say the same if it was Penny."

"That’s a lot  _Mikey_." Penny retorted, making a face at the blond boy who frowned at her at the use of a name he considered completely babyish.

"We had to stop so Sam could change." Adam said dutifully as he started scouring the ground for an adequately polished stone to join the game.

"Are you still doing that?" Elena Rose looked at her in exasperation. "Why don’t you just tell your dad you hate to wear dresses!"

"Because it would kill him!" Sam grumbled. "He thinks girls don’t know how to do anything but be pretty and nice. He wants me to be like mom."

"Your dad’s pretty understanding Sam," Mike pointed out. "I’m sure he’d be okay with. Not like mine. I’m sure I’m gonna get sent to military school if I don’t shape up."

"Your dad is dreamy." Sam sighed with a wistful smile.

"Got to agree there." Elena Rose retorted, knowing the mere suggestion usually got under Mike’s skin like nothing else. Uncle Chris  _was_  pretty dreamy but though she was not about to admit it, she liked his son a lot better.

"Oh please!" Mike groaned and covered his ears and started chanting ‘I’m not listening’ loudly.

The girls giggled loudly, enjoying their leader being reduced to such circumstances and he was their leader, no matter how he might like to deny it. Michael always knew what to do and if he did not immediately, it usually did not take him long to figure it out.

"Look, I’m sure your dad doesn’t mean it." Peter said once they had amused themselves at Mike’s expense long enough and had resumed the business of stone skipping, a contest now expanded to include the new arrivals. "I mean he’s gotta love the stuff you do, its just like him."

"No he doesn’t," Sam muttered. "He thinks that a girl should be like my mom, all proper and ladylike. You have no idea how long it took to convince him that I really did want to learn how to ride a horse and he still won’t let me do it unless its side saddle."

"That’s how a woman is supposed to ride a horse," Penny declared. "Unless of course you had a carriage and footmen, then you just had to sit in the back and let them take you wherever you’re going. Grandma Maude says that the  _only_  way to travel."

"Grandma Maude also carries rocks in her suitcase that are meant to be from Rome." Peter retorted. "I wouldn’t listen too much to her."

"Its image Peter!" Penny threw up her hands. "Honestly, I don’t know how you can be so smart and be so dumb at the same time."

"You don’t have to help dad carry them up the stairs when she visits."

"That’s it!" Penny glared at her brother and shoved him into the water.

Peter let out an indignant cry before he landed, creating a loud splash that bathed his sister in a twist of poetic justice. Penny squealed and Peter nodded in Tommy’s direction. The lanky young boy immediately grabbed Penny by the shoulders as he jumped into the drink, ensuring that he did not go into the water alone. Both of them disappeared amidst the laughter of those who remained and Penny surfaced long enough to shove Tommy’s head down when he attempted to resurface. Very soon Adam and Elena Rose had joined them, leaving Michael and Sam behind. He was about to dive in when he saw Sam still thinking about what had been said earlier. They all knew about Sam’s secret although none of them would divulge it for anything. It was part of the blood oath they had made when they were even younger than they were now, when Sam had made them promise.

"You can’t go on like this." Mike stated when they were somewhat alone. "He’s the best tracker in the Territory, he’ll find out."

"I know." Sam nodded solemnly. "I hate hiding it from him. We never have secrets but I know he looks at me and just sees a girl."

"Sam, Uncle Vin loves you." He pointed out with absolute certainty of that fact.

"I know he does," she did not doubt that for one minute. "But I get the feeling that he would have liked me to have been a boy."

"I’m sure that ain’t true. I mean look at your mom, how many lady doctors are there? I’ve never even heard of another one around here. Your dad’s crazy about her."

"That’s different," Sam retorted. "Mom doesn’t like to climb trees and she doesn’t know how to follow tracks in the dirt, or use a slingshot or any of the things that I do. If I tell dad, I’m sure he’s going to be mad. I’ll get shipped off to a convent or boarding school, right next to the military school you’re going to."

"Gee thanks," Mike gave her a look. "At least we can be miserable together." 

"Maybe that’s not a bad thing," Sam cocked a brow at him. "Someone’s got to watch your back while you’re surrounded by all those cadets who are gonna want to kick your butt right after they meet you, not to mention all those pretty girls who’ll try and steal you from Elena Rose."

"I don’t know what you’re talking about." Mike said stiffly and somewhat defensively. He hated how Sam seemed to read him so well. "She’s just another girl."

"Right," Sam retorted. "You know my mom calls that denial."

"Denial huh?" Mike declared and moved forward to shove her into the water with the others when she side stepped him and elbowed him hard enough to send him straight over the edge. He fell in with a loud splash, eliciting a rowdy bout of laughter from those watching as Sam help her hands together over her head in a gesture of victory. Mike emerged soaked a short time later, sputtering a litany of words they would never use in adult company.

"The winner and still standing, Sam!" Tommy applauded as Sam took her bows.

""You still got to be faster than to get me." Sam giggled before jumping into join the rest of her friends.

* * *

Vin Tanner had spent the day in Eagle Bend at the horse sales, looking over potential acquisitions for the Lucky Seven ranch. Although Chris had planned to accompany him on this particular excursion, an accident with an especially spirited stud had landed the former gunslinger with a number of broken ribs and ensured that he was house bound for at least a day while his bones knitted. Chris was not at all happy to be under the nursing ministrations of his wife, aware of how militant she could be about his health and was even less impressed when Vin had set out on his own. Buck was needed to take care of the large number of horses they had at the ranch and Vin did not need assistance looking over horses he probably would not buy anyway. Besides, even if he did make a purchase, it would not be the first time either of them had ridden back to the ranch alone with new stock.

As it turned out, there was a number of good breeding horses presented during the sales and Vin did make a purchase of two of the animals, a chestnut and a palomino. He had been ready to conclude his buying spree when the last lot, not expected to be sold, was a dapple-gray pony. Ponies had very little use to most horse ranchers who were usually interested in work horses or breeding stock. Ponies were more for the big cities in the east where horse riding was a past time of the wealthy not a way of life. Vin tended to agree with that viewpoint except that when he saw the animal, he immediately realised that Sam would adore it.

The pony was also the right size for a child her age and she had expressed an interest in riding, especially when she had demanded he teach her. At the moment, she had no horse of her own and Vin could not help thinking that it was rather sacrilegious considering she grew up on a ranch. He knew he probably should discuss this with Alex first but threw caution to the wind because a man had a ride to buy his little girl a pony, no matter what his wife says. Besides, Alex was the one who kept telling him that Sam took after him. If she objected to this little gift, he was certainly going to remind her of it, he thought with a little smile as he made the purchase.

He set off for Four Corners a good deal before sunset. Having no wish to be travelling alone with three horses behind him in the dark. The Territory was still a dangerous place and horse thieves were still a fact of the day. Vin was prone to being just a little more cautious whenever he was alone. For more than a decade, he was always accustomed to having someone watch his back, therefore when he was alone, he tended to be more cautious. Besides, horse thieves tended to select their targets by frequenting the same yards where horses were bought, keeping a close eye on who bought what and who was most vulnerable to attack.

Vin hated it when he was right.

To their credit, he had to admit that they were good and patient in their planning. They waited until he was almost home, having trailed him all the way to Eagle Bend before moving in for the kill. They were smart enough to wait until he had lowered his guard, confident in the belief that he was too close to home to encounter any difficulties. The thieves, three of them had waited along a strength of road he took to get home, heavily shrouded in trees with the barest hint of a trail It was as private as one could imagine for such an ambush. In retrospect, Vin supposed he should have known better but it was late in the day and he was tired. Moving three horses on one's own was an exhausting practice and he was certain that they were just as eager to him to see an end to their journey.

He sensed something was wrong when the horses started to react a little, not much but enough to tell him that there were others in the area and there was reason to be cautious because their riders were not showing themselves. Vin immediately went for the mare's leg that sat in its holster at his hip but knew he was in trouble because they had closed in on him at the very worst possible time. He was surrounded on all sides with no way of getting past them and with the horses, it was difficult to outrun them if they chose to give chase. He could abandon the horses he supposed but he was not really eager to do that and there was no guarantee they would not come after him anyway. Horse thieving was still a hanging offence and he was certain they would not want him alive to finger them for the crime.

Unfortunately, there was very little he good to do about it when they opened fire. The horses immediately reared up in fright at the sudden eruption of gunfire. Not only did their fright give him a very confused line of sight to fire back but in their haste to escape force his own horse on its rear legs and threw him out of the saddle. Vin's sawn off rifle had escaped his grip when he landed and he was damned lucky he did not shoot himself fatally but the landing had been bad and the snap of a bone told him irrevocably that his arm had been broken. Vin let out of a soft cry as the snap of excruciating pain shuddered through his body and the next thing he knew was this dizzying moment when all he could feel was the red haze of pain behind the background noise of men riding up to him.

"Git the gun," he heard one of them say.

There were at least four of them; he counted as the voice spoke amongst themselves trying to decide what they were going to do with him. Vin tried to lift his gun to fire at the one coming at him but as he made the attempt, he was struck in the face by a boot. It was not so much the pain of the blow that made him groan again when he went sprawling but rather the fact that he landed on his broken arm when he stopped. He could feel bone scraping against bone, a sensation that almost gagged him with disgust until he tasted the blood in his mouth and decided to pull himself together if he wanted to survive this.

"Alright," he grunted, opening his eyes and focusing on his attackers. "Take the goddamn horses!"

Two of them were older men that he had seen a couple of times down in Purgatorio. The ugly, grizzled kind who had lived a life of larceny without ever knowing anything else or wanting anything better. The third was a boy; a young hot shot with shiny guns that sort of reminded Vin of JD when they had met up by the way the kid was twirling them. However, the manic gleam in his eyes indicated he was nothing like the present Sherrif of Four Corners. The kid was not just itching to show off his guns but eager to get blooded. The last man, the leader was wearing a tan duster and his face mostly hidden by the slouch hat he was wearing but Vin could tell that he had hard eyes and that he was a cold ruthless killer.

"Sorry Tanner," the leader spoke. "No can do."

The fact that he knew who Vin was worried the tracker a great deal.

"We leave you and you'll send your six friends after us." The man continued. "Can't have that."

"Let's kill him now Murphy!" The boy said excitedly, practically foaming at the mouth at the chance of using his weapons. He scared the hell out of Vin because he looked as crazy as he sounded.

"Settle down Virgil," one of the other men sniggered.

"Don't call me that!" The boy named Virgil burst out angrily, waving his guns in their direction. "My name is Spears!"

"Shut up all of you!" Murphy growled and silenced them all with the threat in his voice. "We can't kill him. No way I want Larabee after me but we are gonna give him something to think about if he thinks of coming after us, especially if we have his pet tracker."

"Go to hell." Vin grunted in pain, his eyes glaring at the man in hatred for using him that way.

The man returned his icy stare with one just as menacing before he replied. "Not before you do, tracker. Not before you."

* * *

By the time it was four o'clock, the children were more than ready to go home. They set out from the watering hole, taking one of Sam's short cuts that always ensured they got where they were going a good deal sooner than they would if they took the normal route, laughing and chattering about the day they had just spent together. Wet hair plastered to their faces, the heat feeling delicious against their skins after a day spent in cool water, it was the kind of summer and the kind of childhood that left the most indelible impression in one's memories. They would soon part ways as Penny, Tommy, Peter and Adam would continue into town and Michael would walk Elena Rose home, though he would swear black and blue that it was to keep Sam company.

Sam was still in her overalls and knew that she would have to divest herself of it soon in order to put on her dress once again. She wished she did not have to. She felt so much more comfortable in this old overalls that Mike had given her rather than this stupid dress with too many layers. She could not imagine how older women wore this and wondered how Penny could stand all the clothes she wore. It was so inconvenient, she thought with a frown. They were almost to the crossroad where they would have to split up to go to their respective homes when suddenly Sam noticed something in the tracks ahead that made her freeze.

"Daddy." She whispered and her face went ashen.

Mike caught it first and followed her gaze. To him the tracks on the ground was nothing more than a lot of hooves prints but there was something about what Sam was seeing that frightened the hell out of her. "Sam what is it?" He asked.

"Everybody stay still!" Sam cried out. "Don't mess the tracks!"

Everyone was confused and wanting to react but Mike could see by the way Sam was studying them she was seeing something in those incomprehensible indentations in the dirt. "You heard her, stay put!" He ordered and when Mike said it, no one disobeyed.

"Peso was here." She looked up at Mike.

"How do you know?" He asked.

"I know the tracks Peso makes," she said trying not to panic. She knew how to read the tracks because she had listen to her dad even though he thought she had no concept about what he had been talking about and also because she used to ask Uncle Chano when they went to the Indian Reserve about reading them. In truth, Uncle Chano and even Chief Kojay taught her more about reading tracks than her father so she knew what she was seeing now meant that he was in trouble. "When he was just a colt, he had a little accident, did something to one of his hooves. He's okay but daddy has to make sure he's shorn all the time so that it doesn't get to be a problem. You can tell by the way his hoof is shaped. See." She pointed to the marks in question and Michael could see something in the shape of the track that was slightly irregular.

"Okay he was here," Michael said gesturing at the others to keep their questions silent for the moment so that he could get to the bottom of this. "How do you know he is in trouble."

"There are a lot of tracks around here," she studied the ground. "I mean a lot. At least six horses or seven I think and daddy is hurt or something, I’m not sure. Something happened to him."

"How do you know that?" Michael exclaimed, unable to imagine how she could make a leap like that. He could believe her about the horse tracks but that was even too precise for her.

"Look there," she pointed out the indentations in the dirt of an object that was long and thin. "That's the shape of a rifle but the barrel ain't long enough. Like its been cut."

"Hell." Mike hissed because they all knew of only one person who carried a sawn off rifle and that was Uncle Vin. "Can you tell which way they went?" He asked even though it was a moot point. Sam was her father's daughter and if she only dared enough to confide in him, Mike was sure she'd find out how much the two of them were like.

Sam was already following the tracks and she nodded. "They're heading away from town."

"We have to tell someone!" Elena Rose finally found her voice. "We have to get back to town."

"I'm not leaving him!" Sam turned around and blurted out. "I can find him!"

"Sammie are you insane!" Penny exclaimed. "If your dad in trouble, we got to tell Uncle Chris!"

"But it could be too late!" Sam cried out, staring at Mike to back her up on this. "They could take him anywhere!"

"Even if you find him you're no good to him if they catch you too!" Tommy pointed out. "We have to go back!"

"I won't!" Sam said defiantly and began walking. "You don't have to come with me! I can do it myself."

"No you won't." Mike stated firmly.

"Yes I will Michael!" She retorted.

"STAY WHERE YOU ARE SAMANTHA!" Mike snapped and made them all jump at the harshness of his voice. She came to a halt and stared at him in shock at having raised his voice to her.

"Mike..."

"Now you listen to me," he strode towards and met her gaze firmly. "You will _not_ go alone after those men. If they've taken your father, what do you think they'll do to you?"

"If I don't follow them, they could be anywhere!" Sam declared.

"I know that." Mike sighed. "That's why I'm going with you."

"Michael Vin Larabee have you lost your mind?" Elena Rose protested as she hurried up to them both. "Neither of you are in any position to go chasing after these 'outlaws' or whatever they are. We need to go back to town and get help!"

"And that's what you're going to do Elena." Mike stared at her. "You and the others are going to go back to town and find my father and tell him what's happened. Sam and I are gonna follow the tracks. We'll follow them as far as we can."

"Michael, this is dangerous." Tommy said firmly.

"That's why we have to go." Mike looked at him. "Sam's right. Its getting dark soon, we got to follow the tracks as far as we can. By the time you get back to town and get my dad, it will be almost sunset, it will be almost impossible to trail Uncle Vin."

"But they're on horseback." Adam pointed out. "You two are on foot!"

"I know but the horses can't ride forever, they have to rest besides we don't plan on catching up to them, just getting a rough idea where they're headed."

"Michael..." Elena started to protest.

"I'll come with you." Peter Standish declared.

Penny turned to her brother in shock. "Peter! No!"

"I don't think too many of us should go." Mike responded, not wishing to risk any more of their lives than necessary.

"None of us should be going," Peter returned sharply, "but since you and Sam are hell bent on doing this thing, I'm coming along with you and I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Me too." Tommy retorted.

"Oh no!" Mike declared. "I draw the line. We'll be in enough trouble with our folks as it is. Besides, if we do get into trouble, the less of us there are the better it will be. Besides, Tommy you got to stick with Adam and the girls, make sure they get back safe."

Tommy wanted to protest but Mike gave him a look that was not just a demand to be obeyed but a request to not make this any harder than it already was. Mike was afraid of having anything to do with outlaws that might kill them, even if it was just to following them for a bit. However, Sam would do this no matter what they said to her and she was his friend, he could not abandon her.

"Alright Mike," Tommy nodded, understanding the request that was asked of him.

"Mike," Sam spoke for the first time since this debate began. "You don't have to."

"Yes I do, someone’s got to watch your back while you’re surrounded by all those outlaws who are gonna want to kick your butt right after they meet you." He said with a little smile.

"Thank you Mike," she said softly.

"But if I get sent to military school because of this I will never forgive you." He declared firmly.

What he did not say what that if they all got killed, he would never forgive her.

* * *

The horses had been riding all day and even though it was dangerous to do so, the kidnappers had little choice but to take a break in their journey. Their animals were tired and needed watering and as much they would like to put as much distance between themselves and the scene of their crime, to ignore the obvious was to court danger as equal to the one they were attempting to flee. It was well into dark and Murphy had deduced that it would be still a few hours before someone in Four Corners was wise to Tanner’s absence. The man after all had been buying horses in Eagle Bend, there was no reason for his friends to believe that had met with foul play until they had exhausted all other possibilities which worked out quite well for Murphy and his gang.

They had a corral past the border where most of their stolen animals were kept and Tanner’s selection at Eagle Bend would bring a handsome sum although Murphy could not fathom what had made the former tracker make a choice of the dapple gray pony. It had no value as a working horse and sparked Murphy’s interest as to why someone with Tanner’s experience in horse ranching would make such a purchase. The opportunity to ask came when they had made camp for the night. Tanner’s arm was busted pretty badly so there was no need to tie him up. The men took turns watching him and ensured that he did not make any foolish attempts to escape.

"How come you bought the gray Tanner?" Murphy asked over the campfire.

"None of your business." Vin drawled, trying to keep the pain from showing on his face.

"Come on," Murphy urged. "You don’t tell us and we’ll put a bullet in its head. Got no value for sale anyway."

Vin glared at the man at his callousness but knew it was an empty threat. The pony may not have been worth much but it was worth something and these men were too greedy to waste anything. The other three sniggered as if Murphy’s threat had power to move him. It did not but Vin answered just so the man would shut up and leave him be.

"It’s for my daughter." Vin retorted.

"I heard you were married." Murphy responded. "The town doctor or something ain’t she?"

"The colored one?" Spears goaded, trying to get a rise out of Vin.

"Shut up." Murphy ordered. They had yet to see any trouble out of Tanner and he did not want the kid’s big mouth to inspire the tracker into creating some. "Can’t be too old if you’re buying her pony. How old is she?"

"She's eight." Vin grumbled, not liking to talk about Sam at this point because thinking of Sam made him wonder if he would see her again. He was almost certain that they had no intention of letting him go. He did not mind dying but he hated leaving his wife and daughter. His girls were the most important things in his life and secretly, he hoped that Murphy was wrong. That Chris would know better than to wait too long before he started looking. Vin had a feeling he did not have that much time. Once they made it across the border safely, they would kill him.

"Ain’t that a little young to be riding a horse?" Brennan, one of the duo he knew from Purgatory.

"That’s why I got her a pony." Vin retorted, wishing they would drop the subject.

"Well ain’t you a good daddy?" Spears sneered. "Mine never gave me nothing but the back of his hand."

"That’s explains how come you turned out so well." The tracker said sarcastically, inspiring the laughter of everyone present except the kid whose face turned red with rage.

"Maybe I’ll go find your little bitch!" He hissed, scrambling towards Vin and making sure he could see into Spear’s eyes. "Get to know her a lot better."

Vin’s eyes turned into points of black obsidian. "You go anywhere near my daughter and I’ll kill you. That’s a promise."

Spears laughed because he did not think Vin was capable of much but when the tracker kicked out his foot and ensured the ball of his heel landed on the soft part of the man’s stomach, he learnt otherwise. Unprepared for the attack, Vin did enough damage to ensure the kid would think twice before thinking an enemy was down. Spears fell on his rear, groaning in pain at the powerful blow delivered to his gut. Instinct and rage made him draw one gun, prepared to shoot when a hand caught his hand before he could do anything as reckless as pull the trigger.

"Let it go!" Murphy shouted as he forced Spears to relinquish the weapon.

"I’m gonna kill him!" Spears growled, struggling to keep the gun and pull the trigger. It did not help that Vin showed absolutely no remorse and was enjoying the display of seeing Spears being restrained by Murphy.

"You will but not now!" Murphy declared. "Kill him now and you’ll have Larabee and the other five hunting you until the day you die. Trust me kid, fast as you think you are, you ain’t ready to deal with Chris Larabee."

"I can handle him!" The boy barked defiantly.

"Maybe you can," Murphy returned sharply. "But we ain’t finding out on this run. Now keep your head. They’ll be plenty of time for payback when we get these horses to Mexico."

That seemed to make Spears calm down and he lowered the Remington in his hand as he yielded to Murphy’s orders. "I’m gonna git you." He glared at Vin. "Count on it."

Unfortunately, Vin did not doubt that.

* * *

Chris Larabee listened to the four children in front of him as they rattled their story off and could hardly understand a word of what any of them were saying. It was late afternoon when the children returned to Four Corners and they all knew from habit that at this time of night their fathers would be in their favourite watering hole, a tradition still followed since their first days in Corners. These days, the drinking session was much shorter and they scattered at suppertime to return to their respective homes to share the evening meal with the families that were waiting for them.

So it was rather surprising to see Elena Rose, Tommy Jackson, Penny Standish and Adam Dunne suddenly turn up at the Standish Saloon, a venue that was strictly out of bounds for them, babbling excitedly at the same time about danger. For few seconds after the children had entered the saloon, the fathers stared at their children in mute silence as the cacophony of frantic voice bombarded their senses and captured the attention of everyone, including the patrons as they attempted to decipher what was being said.

"Buck, you want to handle this?" Chris said amidst all the chattering, suddenly feeling that vein in his head starting to throb.

"Sure." His old friend said good-naturedly and turned to the children before him. "SHUT UP!" He boomed loudly.

Everyone  _including_  the patrons jumped at the sharp order however, it did produce the desired effect when silence followed.

"Subtle Mr Wilmington, really subtle." Ezra retorted giving Buck a look before facing the children. "Now one at a time. What is all this fuss about?"

"Its Uncle Vin!" Tommy exclaimed practically bursting from having to hold in his news about what they had been sent here to deliver. "We saw tracks and its looks like he's been hurt. And Mike, Sam and Peter, they followed the tracks and Mike told us to come back and to tell you Uncle Chris because you have to go after them!"

"You get all that?" JD stared at Chris.

"Did you say Vin is hurt Tommy?" Nathan asked.

"Well Sam thought he was," Elena Rose replied quickly. "She saw tracks in the dirt and said that it was Peso’s tracks and that she had to follow it or you wouldn’t be able to see in the dark or Uncle Vin and the bad men, there was six or seven of them, would get too far away if they didn’t follow it!"

"Sam knew all this from reading tracks?" Buck stared at his daughter in disbelief.

"Yeah!" Penny retorted. "She doesn’t want her dad to know but she can read tracks and do all kinds of neat things. She throws a slingshot better then any of us! She knows what she’s talking about!"

"I believe you my dear," Ezra calmed his daughter down and glanced at the others. "Well it appears the apple does not fall too far from the tree."

"Try telling him that," Buck shook his head in disbelief. For years, he had been telling Vin not to underestimate his child because she was a girl however, Vin was convinced he had nothing to teach a daughter about his skills. Now it appeared she had managed to learn all she needed to without his assistance. The irony of it did not lose itself upon those present.

"So you’re telling me that Sam, Michael and Peter are trailing Vin and the six men who might have him?" Chris asked for clarification.

"Uh huh." Tommy nodded. "Sam wanted to go herself but Mike wouldn’t let her, so he and Peter went with her and Mike told the rest of us to come back to town because it was safer and so that we could tell you what was happening." The boy tried not to sound nervous under the hard stare of Chris Larabee’s scrutiny but his father gave him a little smile to allay his anxiety, perfectly aware that Tommy was not the first person to flinch under the infamous Larabee glare.

Chris did know whether or not he should be mad at his son for embarking on such a dangerous course of action or to be proud of him for standing by his friends while taking into consideration their safety as well. However, for the moment he would forgo the debate because they had more important things to deal with. "Tommy, you know where these tracks are?" He asked the boy.

"Yes," Tommy nodded. "I can show you."

"Chris…" Nathan started to protest, uncertain whether or not he wanted his boy in any danger.

"Nathan we don’t have a choice." Chris stared at the doctor. "Its going to be hard enough to track them without wasting any more time than its necessary. We need Tommy to show us."

"I can do it." Elena Rose spoke up.

"No you can’t." Buck retorted without automatically.

"But daddy!" Elena protested.

"That don’t work every other time and it sure as hell ain’t gonna work now." He gave her one of those rare looks of stern authority, which meant she was not going to be able to get her way and he would not appreciate her trying.

"We need to move," Chris said firmly.

Even though it was highly unlikely that the children would catch up to men on horse back, if they had anything like the luck of their parents, it was a good bet that they would find trouble nonetheless. After all, Ezra was right; the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.

* * *

When he had agreed to accompany Sam in her efforts to track her father, he had anticipated that she would keep them on the trail taken by the men who had kidnapped Vin Tanner, not be led straight to them. Mike knew Sam had been perfecting her skill but he had no idea it was so refined. They had been walking for hours and their feet were getting sore but Sam refused to give up, seeing things in the dark that made Mike wonder how on Earth she could see any of it. Even though the moon was full and there was enough illumination to keep them from bumping into things, Mike did not think it was bright enough to see the tracks in the dirt to maintain their journey.

"Its not just tracks, silly." She shook her head, wondering how someone like Michael who was the smartest boy she knew could be so dense sometimes. "It’s broken branches and bent leaves. You just have to look real closely." She had said as if it was perfectly natural.

"It all looks the same to me." Peter answered, trying not to show all this darkness was starting to get to him.

"The land is special," she continued to say. "Uncle Chano says so all the time and the Indians know. Their people have been here forever and they know stuff."

"You know I can’t believe you’re afraid of telling your dad you know all this." Peter returned. "If my daughter could do all the things you could, I wouldn’t be mad."

"Well my daddy ain’t you," Sam frowned. "He doesn’t think I know how to do anything."

"Quiet!" Mike suddenly hissed while the two of them were talking.

"What?" Sam whispered after both of them went silent at Mike’s urging.

"I hear talking." Mike said quietly and they all immediately crouched down low in the bushes to listen more closely. They were in a thickly wooded area with trees and rocks scattered across the landscape making visibility difficult. In essence it was a perfect place to camp for the night if one wanted anonymity and while this worked to the advantage for the men they were tracking, for three children alone; this had entirely the opposite effect.

For a few seconds, no one spoke but rather listened closely. There were the usual sounds of the night, crackling intermittently through the stillness. Insects chirping loudly, an owl perched on a branch some way, singing its eerie song and in the far distance (fortunately) was the howl of a coyote. It was the kinds of sounds that made children huddle under the covers when the dark still frightened them and for Sam, Peter and Mike who were still of that age, their nerve was not as strong as the compulsion that had brought them to this point. However, they calm their anxieties enough to hear the voices that Mike had supposedly heard.

They listened closely for a few seconds, hearing at least four speakers talking. At first no one could be sure that it was the men they had been following. Their conversation was nondescript for awhile until the name Tanner was suddenly mentioned. Sam reacted immediately, her first impulse was to go forward but Mike wrapped his hand around her mouth and pulled her back before she could do anything that would not only get herself killed but the rest of them as well.

"But Mike!" Sam protested.

"We’re not going in there without a plan!" He declared, trying to keep his voice down. "If we can hear them, they’ll sure as hell can hear us. Now the only chance we got of helping your dad get away is if they don’t know we’re here, alright?"

"Listen to him Sam," Peter implored. "He’s right."

He was right and Sam could not deny it. "Okay, what do we do?"

Mike pulled his hand from her mouth and started thinking. "We got to see how bad your dad is hurt."

"That means we have to get in closer." Peter pointed out, not liking this idea at all.

A short time later, they had managed to creep up to the encampment without being detected. This was mostly due to the liquor bottle that was being passed around the four men. While they were far from drunk, the liquor had affected them enough to ensure their senses were not as sharp as they should be. The fire burned in the centre of the camp, illuminating the faces of the men present clearly for the children to see. Once again, Mike had to put a restraining arm on Sam to keep her from doing anything rash when she caught sight of her father. Vin Tanner was obviously in a bad way. The fact that they had not tied him up and the angle of his arm indicated that he was badly injured. His legs seemed all right so he was not completely helpless but if he were to escape from four, armed men, he would need help.

"We got to help him." Sam said as they withdrew for the moment, trying to decide what to do.

"We could distract them." Peter suggested. "Maybe do something to keep their mind of Uncle Vin so that he can get away."

"There’s four of them," Mike returned. "Three will go investigate a distraction and the fourth will stay behind and watch him."

"Yeah but one of us could help him when he’s alone." Sam declared.

"Sam, how good are you with that slingshot?" Mike asked after a moment of consideration.

"Good enough to help my dad." She said firmly.

"I hope that’s very good then because if you’re not, we are gonna in a lot of trouble." Mike pointed out.

Like they weren’t already, Sam thought.

* * *

Someone was out there.

This much Vin Tanner knew because he was certain he had heard the approach of at least three people but could not see them enough to make out. He guessed that they had come close enough to see what was happening around the campfire and chose wisely to withdraw. At first, he considered that it might be Chris and the others but that did not seem right because there had been something odd about the sounds he had heard. Men made definite sounds against the dirt when they moved. Their bodies tended to snap branches and twigs as they progressed through the woods, no matter how quietly they tried to do so. It was always Vin’s habit to keep low when trying to track. He breathed shallow through his mouth and kept let only his legs move, the rest of him remained still disturbing nothing. It was a skill he learnt from the Cherokee and it was hard to master.

Whomever it was out there was either very good at it as well or diminutive enough not to disturb too much. He though perhaps it might be an animal but that seemed unlikely, he did not know many animals other than wolves and coyotes that traveled in packs and a fire would sent them in the opposite direction anyway, not draw them closer. Had Murphy and his men been less inebriated, they might have noticed this but a bottle of liquor could do a lot of damage to a man’s senses when its fire took hold of the brain. Vin watched them as they drink, getting rowdier by the minute while their eyelids grew heavy and their eyes unfocussed. He waited patiently for the right moment because as much pain as he was in, he had misled them on the extent of his handicap. All he needed was an opening.

It came sooner than Vin thought and rather surprisingly.

Something had spooked the horses. Coupled with their frantic neighing was the sound of hooves pounding away into the night. The four men jumped to their feet immediately, discovery doing wonders for their inebriation. Murphy immediately stared at Vin and looked at Quincy, the forth member of his gang and barked a slurred order. "Watch him! The rest of you come one!"

The three men hurried off into the darkness as Quincy turned a gun on Vin after they had disappeared. It was obvious Quincy did not like being alone even though he had a gun and the tracker was clutching a broken arm. To reinforce his own security, he found himself barking at Vin to stay put, that he would not hesitate to shoot. Vin did not answer, convinced that the opening he was waiting for had come, even though he was confused at how it had come about. He also kept a keen eye on where the other three had gone and knew that they were pursuing the horses they had stolen to acquire. Once again, Vin wondered whether or not Chris and the others had not found him because all this had the earmarks of a rescue attempt.

Quincy was pacing the ground anxiously, his gun in his hand waiting for the others to come back when suddenly, Vin heard a swoosh of sound just before a walnut sized rock cracked against the side of Quincy’s skull. The man cried out in pain as the rock bounced of his head, his hand flying to the gash it had left behind when suddenly another rock flew out of the darkness like a projectile, this one hitting him on the underside of his wrist. He screamed in pain and let go of the gun in his hand. There would never be a better time to act and Vin took a gamble and rushed forward. Quincy looked up at him just in time to feel a foot slam hard into the side of his knee, driving him to the ground in one swift movement. As Quincy dropped, Vin swung his first and connected with the man's jaw, sending him sprawling.  
  
"Take his gun daddy!" He suddenly spun around and saw Sam standing before him, handing him Quincy's gun.

" _Samantha, what are you doing here_?" Vin exclaimed beyond horrified.

"No time to talk daddy," she put the gun in his hand and then proceeded to pull him away from the encampment. "We have to go!"

Vin was so astonished by the whole situation, he could do nothing for a few seconds but let his eight year old daughter drag him from the camp into the woods. Vin could only follow because for the moment, she was right, they could not stay. He did not understand how Sam could come to be here but he sure as hell knew that he did not want them to find his daughter. Suddenly the threat made by Spears towards Sam had taken on a terrifying reality.

"Where are we going?" Vin asked as they moved briskly through the woods and he was mildly surprised that she was more than able to keep pace with him, not to mention she seemed to know where she was going.

"Mike took some horses, so we could get away!" She said out of breath as they progressed through the dark.

"Mike's here too?" Vin gasped. This was getting worse by the minute.

"Don't worry daddy," she said confidently. "We sent the others for help so Uncle Chris should be here soon."

"Sammie how did you find me?" He demanded, needing to pause because the pain in his arm was just too much.

Sam swallowed thickly and stared at him through the moonlight, supposing that this was the moment of truth. "I saw the tracks where you hurt your arm. I saw your rifle in the dirt and Peso's tracks."

"You tracked me here?" He declared unable to believe it. "How?"

"When I went to the Indian reservation with mom, I got Uncle Chano and Chief Kojay to show me how to track." She said guiltily.

"Why?" Was the overriding question that screamed in his head. "Why Sammie?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't." She said quietly.

Vin felt an overwhelming sense of shame at that moment. He did not know who she was at all. He saw her everyday and had no idea her spirit was just as wild as his, that even though she was a girl, she was still  _all_  him.

"I never thought you wanted to learn." He said feebly. "I didn't think you cared about all that."

"I love the land daddy." She said in a small voice. "I love all of it and everything else that I don't know about it but I want to learn daddy, I want to know it all."

For a while they did not speak because honestly Vin did not know what to say. He felt an agony worse than his broken arm at that instant, stemming from a heart that was aching in disgust at himself. He had no idea who his little girl was and if he had stopped for a moment to find out, he might have discovered that everything he thought he could teach a boy was an open book she wanted desperately to read.

"Hey!" Michael suddenly emerged with Peter, they were both leading two horses, one of which was Peso and the other being one of the horses belonging to Murphy's gang. It gave Vin great pleasure to know that the animal, a bay gelding, was the one ridden by Virgil Spears. "We were waiting!"

"Sorry Mike." Sam replied hastily, still afraid of what her father's reaction would be to her exposed secret when this was all said and done.

"We have to go," Mike looked up at Vin. "They're looking for their horses but they're gonna know something's up if not already."

"Good thinking." Vin nodded as he strode towards Peso. "Can you ride the bay?" He asked Michael.

"I think so." Michael nodded. The horse was larger than what he was used to but he was confident that he could manage.

Mike and Peter was soon riding double astride the bay and Vin mounted Peso, with Sam clinging to his waist as they started to ride away. As soon as the horses broke into a gallop, Vin heard the distant sound of gunfire as if Murphy and his gang were shooting blindly at the dark in hopes of getting lucky and stopping them from making their escape. However, Mike and Peter had done a good job of scattering the rest of the horses so there was no pursuit for quite some time and by then, it would certainly be too late for Murphy to regain his hostage. They had not progressed very far before they ran into Chris and the rest of the seven.

The gunslinger was so grateful to see his son safe and sound that he did not hold the boy accountable for risking his life in such a dangerous venture, especially after Vin pointed out that Mike, Sam and Peter probably saved his life. While Nathan accompanied Vin back to Four Corners so that his broken arm could be tended to and the children taken out of harms way, Chris and the others continued after Murphy and his men. They returned a day later with prisoners and the horses that Vin had purchased at Eagle Bend, including the dapple gray pony he had bought for Samantha. Virgil Spears had been killed in the gunfight that followed the gang's confrontation with the peacekeepers and Murphy died of his injuries shortly after arriving at Four Corners.

Vin had not said much to Samantha about her desire to track and hunt and do all the things he was so fond of for a few weeks after the incident with the Murphy gang. Alex did not seem at all surprised by the revelation and blamed him for forcing their daughter to go to such lengths to hide her true self from him, citing that she hoped he learnt his lesson about thinking a girl so incapable of wanting the same things as he.

Vin supposed he deserved that but knew it was going to take more than a pony to make it up to her.

* * *

She wished he would say something to her about what had happened with the Murphy gang but he did not.

Sam was certain that he was so angry that he did not want to talk about it. She could think of no other reason why the subject was avoided the way it had been. It was weeks after the incident with the horse thieves and he was still wearing his cast over his broken arm. He treated Sam just the same but she knew that there was something wrong, she could feel it. She could not guess whether it was because he was shocked at what he knew about her now or because he just plain angry but she knew that she did not like it. Trouble was, Sam had no idea how she could mend the rift she had created between them.

As was his habit for as long as she could remember, her father was planning to take a ride out of town for a few days. Mom had explained that it had to do with daddy needing to get away from the noise of town living for a while, to just go out into the country and listen to the quiet. Sam knew exactly what it felt like to want that. She knew the terrain around the ranch intimately because she had spent a lot of time alone, just listening to the creatures that roamed within, getting to know the land as Uncle Chano often said. Her dad would take Peso and his bedroll and just disappear into the wilderness for a few days before coming back to his life. It was a way of balancing himself out, he told her once.

On this occasion, Sam watched him quietly in the barn as he packed Peso, working up the nerve to talk to him and perhaps apologize for not turning out the way he wanted. He knew she was there watching him and he had said nothing, which further convinced Sam that he was definitely mad at her.

"Daddy, I'm sorry." Sam said finally as she stared at him, feeling so bad because she couldn't be what he wanted her to be.

Vin raised his eyes to his little girl, wondering why she was saying sorry when he was the one who had behaved like a danged fool and was preparing to tell her so when he came up with something better. "You like your pony?" He asked quietly.

"I love my pony." Sam declared sincerely of the animal she took great pride in brushing down every night and whom she call Silver because of its color. Okay, dapple gray was not quite silver but it  _was_  to her. "It's the best thing I ever got."

Vin crooked the corner of his lip into a little smile, perfectly aware of that it was. He had seen how she doted on the animal ever since it had come into her possession. "Well then you better get him packed if you're coming with me."

Sam's eyes widened in shock. "Come with you daddy?" She could scarcely believe what she had just heard.

"Uh huh." His smile started to broaden across his face. "Yeah, I thought we might do a little fishing, maybe you can show me what Chano taught you."

Her eyes glistened and for a moment, Vin thought she might cry from sheer happiness, which merely confirmed Vin he was finally doing the right thing. Took him long enough, he thought silent to himself

"I love you daddy." She swallowed and then turned to run to the house.

Vin was still smiling when he called after her. "And get rid of that dress you're wearing. Out there its just gonna get in the way. Put something sensible on."

Sam could only smile as she ran to do just that.

 


	4. The Art of the Con

 

He remembered clearly the cards he had been holding that night; two pair composed of Jacks and Queens and single wild card that could go either way. He remembered sitting at the poker table with familiar faces around and feeling apprehensive about everything but the cards. Normally such a thing was unheard of because the poker table was the one arena in which Ezra Standish felt truly comfortable. Here at least, the misfortunes and twists of life seemed non-existent and his destiny was controlled by something whose consequences he could accept, the cards he was dealt. He felt beads of sweat forming under his crisp white shirt and wondered why the room was so hot or for that matter, why he was here. It took him a few seconds before the memory of Nathan telling him to get out surfaced in his mind. 

Ezra could not imagine how his indifferent persona had shattered so spectacularly that he was escorted to the saloon, a place his friends knew he was most comfortable and at ease, in an effort to keep him from hyperventilating. Even now, they were keeping a close eye on him, refusing to let him return to the house he and Julia had shared since their marriage, so that he would not be a nuisance neither Nathan or Alex could tolerate at this time. Not that he had not attempted to bolt past them only to have Chris Larabee threaten to shoot him if he attempted it again. Ezra could not imagine why he was so skittish about all this. After all, it was hardly the first time this had happened to him. He recalled being present when it happened to Buck and then Vin. He had thought it would be easier when it was his turn.

"I cannot simply wait here!" He exclaimed throwing his cards down and standing up abruptly. He had barely made it upright when two arms on either side of him, one belonging to Vin and the other to JD grabbed him by the shirtsleeves and forced it back into the chair again.

 "Siddown." Chris growled and then to JD and Vin. "If he does that again, shoot him in the foot."

 "Mr Larabee…!" Ezra stared at him in astonishment. "I protest this restraint. I should be there!"

 "Yes you should," Chris agreed. "And if it weren’t for the fact that you can’t keep from distracting Nathan and Alex, you would  _still_  be there."

 "But, but, but…." Ezra stuttered.

 "But nothing." Chris cut him off. "They got too much to do without you getting underfoot."

 "Josiah is allowed to be there!" Ezra pointed out defiantly, meeting the gunslinger’s hard gaze.

 "Josiah is a hell of a lot calmer than you are." Vin returned in support of Chris’ argument.

"Excuse me," Ezra turned to the tracker. "Were you not the one who insisted on being in the room when your daughter was born and if I recall correctly, we had to come pick you up from the floor when you saw the wonderful process of birth?"

 "That was different." Vin said stiffly, remembering the embarrassment all too well. The images were still vivid in his mind and made him flinch even as he thought about it. How did women go through such agony? "I’ve seen gunshot wounds that weren’t as bad as that."

 "Come on Chris," Buck responded. "It is his wife. He ought to be there."

"Thank you." Ezra said gratefully and turned his attention back to Chris. "You see? Even Buck agrees with me."

 Chris let out a deep sigh and could understand Ezra’s fears and concerns. If it was he in the same position, he supposed he would want to be there as badly as Ezra did now. "Alright, but we’re going with you and you will sit calm in the parlor to wait this out. Julia’s got enough to deal with, without you going loco on her."

 "I am the picture of mental health." Ezra said with complete dignity until he saw Nathan appear at the bat wing doors and bolted from the table before JD and Vin could grab him.

"Nathan what are you doing here? You are supposed to be with my wife? What’s happened? Has something happened hasn’t it? Is she alright? I knew I shouldn’t have left!" In his panic, his normal eloquence had given way to rapid fire questions that escaped him with no interval to catch a breath left the healer staring blankly at him for a moment before he demanded. "Nathan, how long does it take to answer a simple question."

Nathan leaned past Ezra and cast a gaze at the friends behind him. "I thought you were going to calm him down." 

"We’re not miracle workers." JD declared. "It was hard enough trying to get him to play cards instead of running out of here." 

"Nathan!" Ezra cried out exasperated, desperate to know if Julia was all right and giving him one last chance to answer before he went to find out for himself.

"Relax," Nathan straightened up and looked the gambler in the eye. "Julia’s fine. Consider yourself the father of a healthy baby boy."

"A boy." Ezra broke into a dimpled grin as he felt the relief flood into his body. "I have a son." He looked over his shoulder just as his friends were rising to congratulate him when suddenly; Nathan cleared his throat and returned their attention to him once more.

 "Actually," Nathan was struggling not to break into a grin but he was having a great deal of amusement at Ezra’s reaction. "You have a son  _and_  a daughter."

 "Excuse me?" Ezra stared at him blankly.

 "You’re the father or twins Ezra."

 "Twins?" Buck started to laugh as JD patted Ezra on the back who was still staring mutely at the healer trying to process all that information. "Ain’t that just like you Ezra. One kid isn’t enough, you’re always greedy for more!"

 "Twins." Ezra muttered after a moment. "I have twins."

 "Want that drink now?" Chris Larabee asked sympathetically. An infant was hard enough to care for with two parents; Chris almost pitied Ezra for what he was going to do with  _two_  babies.

 "Yes," Ezra nodded his eyes still glazed from shock. "Make it a double."

* * *

He never thought of himself as the family man or how well it would suit him.

For years he had wished for a family and when he had stumbled into Four Corners, he had done so without the least bit conception that when he had ridden into the dusty town, he had reached a crossroads in his life that would forever change him. Since that day, his life had taken a course he never expected it would, bringing him all the things ha had dreamt about secretly, the private fantasies that lurked behind the more obvious wishes of money and luxuries. With the joys had come devastating lows that even now he had trouble speaking of but had managed to survive because of the friends he met in Four Corners and the woman who loved him despite all the things he sometimes put her through. By the time they were married, everything he had ever wanted had come to pass and even though his fortune was limited to one saloon, Ezra did not care.

He  _was_  rich.

The children redefined his existence as only children could. He had always believed he and Julia were soul mates, two creatures cut from the same piece of unique cloth but with the arrival of Peter and Penelope Standish, that perception altered. From then on, they were explorers in uncharted territory confronted by two alien beings who were more selfish and stubborn then both of them combined. The infants required a great deal of time and if Ezra had any doubts as to whether or not he had staying power in this marriage, his children taught him that he had hidden reserves from which to call upon. From nightly feedings, to colic, to teething and terrible twos (literally), the gambler did not think he could ever work so hard in his life.

Chris Larabee had given him a piece of advice on the night that the twins were born that Ezra found to be a useful guide in how to regard these new arrivals in his life. As the years continued, he realized how valuable that advice truly was and practiced it with earnest devotion. Chris had told him that every moment of a child's life was precious, to be savored like a tasty morsel and never squandered for any reason because once lost, could never be regained. The gunslinger had made this revelation during the rare occasions when his mood was such that he could stand talking about the child he had lost before coming to Four Corners. Chris had told him softly with no small measure of grief in his eyes that it was those tiny beads of memory about Adam that made his loss a little more tolerable over the years. The first smile he had ever made, the first steps taken were a small comfort for the girl he would never marry, the tree he would never climb and the life he would never have.   ;

Ezra took Chris' words to heart and realised just how delightful the experience could be if one was prepared to shake the conventions of what a father was supposed to do in his child's life. He barely remembered his own and he did not want to be a fleeting memory for either Penelope or Peter. Since Inez managed the Standish quite efficiently without him and some say because of his absence, Ezra found that when he was not off playing peacekeeper to Four Corners, he was more or less regulated with the duty of caring for his two children. The Emporium still needed Julia to run and though he never confessed it mostly because he wanted to  _live_ , Ezra had a feeling that of the two of them, he was the one with the stronger maternal instinct.

Ezra was surprised by how much he enjoyed his children who were like shades of black and white. Penny took after him without doubt because she was flamboyant and always the lady. She loved to look the part and aspired to be a great actress someday, the result of a trip to Eagle Bend where he had smuggled her into one of the theatrical shows much to Julia's annoyance. She came home from the performance deciding that she would be an actress and later discovered that there was none greater than Lily Langtree and that's who she would be. And of course no life in the theatre would be complete without learning a few of the more important social skills, like playing cards. Something as her father, he felt obligated to teach her. She had inherited his hands and had a talent for the cards although he was not certain whether or not he wanted to her make a career out of it.

While he understood Penelope perfectly, Peter was a complete mystery.

He had named the boy after his father, a man Ezra had barely known but learned late in life was nothing like what he imagined. Until Maude's revelation of the truth, what he knew of his father were images really and feelings he could not really define because emotions had no shape or form. Maude did not speak of him very much because his father was the only man that she ever loved and was part of the reason why she was never able to keep his successors for very long. The fact that Maude seemed to get misty whenever Peter was around convinced Ezra whatever stuff was in his son, came from Ezra's father. 

Unlike Penelope who was open and a propensity for vanity, a trait she must have developed from  _Julia_ , Peter was extremely intelligent and introspective. This was evidenced by such incidents as the one when Ezra found him dismantling a clock at the age of seven and then to his amazement, assembling it in perfect working order again. Although he cherished his daughter, Ezra had come to understand that he had something of a prodigy in his son because the boy simply knew how things worked and if he did not, would learn soon enough. Ezra could not fathom how this had come about because he could see it when Peter was working things out, his mind was always trying to understand the way the world worked and would never accept anything as a given.

Although he was somewhat disappointed that neither of the two children took after him, on the whole Ezra was happier that they had dreams of their own, then trying to live up to expectations he had no right having. Maude had never given him a choice in the kind of life he was to lead and Ezra would not do the same to Peter and Penelope. His son had dreams that Ezra could not even begin to imagine, let alone understand, a dream of things conceived in the mind to be given life when he found the right medium. Penelope sought to captivate audiences as much as she had captivated her parents and even if the shell game was be lost upon the twins, Ezra supposed he could live with that. The art of the con was an acquired taste and it appeared none of his children had it. 

Besides, one day, they might just surprise him. 

* * *

Maude Standish was not a happy woman.

The old Concorde in which she was travelling was giving her a rough ride and her demeanor was not much improved by the situation she was presently fleeing from in St Louis. She wondered just how long this nonsense would continue until a conclusion was seen and knew that unless she took matters into her own hands, she would be pursued into Perdition’s Fires. Although Maude was a woman past her sixties, she was still handsome. Her gold hair had grayed slightly but there was enough glint in each strand to still captivate those with fine appreciation of appreciation of beauty despite its vintage. Her eyes were always, the most telling thing about her, full of facets that were not definable with any kind of ease. 

The sojourn to Four Corners was precisely what she needed to take her mind off her troubles because grandchildren had the ability to be an unending tonic for a sour disposition. Although she would always be disappointed that Ezra had not made use of his God given talents, she could not deny that his best production had been the twins she adored. Seeing them would give her the rejuvenation needed for a new plan of attack in regards to her present dilemma. After all these years, Maude was still unable to grasp that her entire family who had once consisted of herself and Ezra had suddenly grown to encompass Julia, Penelope and Peter.

Once Four Corners had been a place she visited every now and then but more and more as she grew older, Maude's trips to the small community was growing more frequent. Though she did not wish to discuss it or even confess the truth, there was going to come a day when she knew the Concorde trip into town would be her last. It was becoming harder and harder to leave her family behind. Age had a strange way of creeping up on a person, not in the substance of an aging body but rather the weariness of constant motion. The need to be around her family was becoming stronger each day and Maude knew the time would soon some when she could not turn away and she would come to Four Corners to stay. 

For the moment however, the wanderlust still filled her veins and unless she corrected the problem she had come to Four Corners to escape, she would not be returning to her colorful existence in St Louis. Part of her could not believe this was happening to her again. What was it about her that inspired such fierce ardor in the opposite sex? A dozen years ago, she had almost been jailed because of the affections of one Mr Preston Wingo. It had taken too many years to convince him that she was not in the least interested in being married again, in fact he had to  _die_  for that to happen, Maude now found herself on the receiving end of more persistent affection.

Simon Doyle was nothing like Preston Wingo who had made his fortune by having a silver spoon in his mouth and the spoilt temperament of the indulged who believed that nothing should be denied him. Doyle was a self made man, rich and powerful. Alaskan gold had been the impetus for his fortune and though it meant that Maude would have had access to a monies beyond the wildest dreams of avarice, she was far too old to be swayed with the notion of trading her independence for cash. In the last two decades, she had come to value her freedom as something precious and she was not about to yield it in favor a rich husband who would use her weakness for excess as a means to control her. No, she would not fall into that trap willingly.  

Unfortunately, Doyle was not satisfied with refusal and his determination to have her bordered almost on the obsessive. At first, his attempts to sway her were somewhat flattering but as its intensity increased, Maude started to feel trepidation because instinct told her that if she allowed him that much power over her, she would become lost. In truth, Doyle was an engaging man, the kind that could make a woman lose all sense if she was not careful. Even though Maude had loathed admitting it, he affected her on a deeply personal level and her feelings for him had taken a life of its own. However, it would still mean the loss of her independence, which was unacceptable to her. Maude hoped that perhaps Ezra might have a fresh perspective on her problem. Ezra and his friends always seemed to bring solutions to the surface when they were together and supposed that is why her darling boy had confined himself to this small dusty town and to such a mundane existence.

Still at the very least, this sojourn would give her time to catch up with her two darling grandchildren and allow her a moment's peace while she recuperated from the man's efforts to snare her as his wife. Sometimes, it did not pay to be a fiercely independent woman who was still handsome for her vintage. At her age, it was more trouble than its worth. Although in this instance, she knew that it was a little more complicated then that, owing to her own feelings. Maude came to the conclusion that if Ezra could not come up with a plan to help her out of this situation; she would simply have to conjure up one on her own to deal with Mr Simon Doyle.

No matter how difficult it was.

* * *

From the birth of their children and further back then that, Julia had come to the firm conclusion that she was no housewife and did not aspire to such. While she loved her children dearly, she was aware that she was not like average mothers. What with an Emporium to run and business holdings that seemed to expand every time she considered testing new waters for a challenge, Julia knew her efforts to stay home and keep house would be lacking. Ezra did not mind his wife having such an acute business sense when it was quite obvious she was more skilled at it then he was. Ezra himself was content to spend his days either with the children or in the Standish Tavern. However, there were some things he was unable to do around the house, like laundry and the cooking. After all, a gentleman did have to draw the line somewhere. During those inevitable occasions when he was required to act as one of Four Corner's peacekeepers, the children was placed under the supervision of Mrs. Megan Riley, a rathe r formidable matron who had acted as part time babysitter and full time house keeper.

Although the woman had a no nonsense attitude that reminded him of Nettie Wells, a trait which contributed heavily to her employment as the Standish housekeeper, Ezra was certain that beneath her grizzled demeanor, the lady had developed a deep affection for Julia in particular. The look she gave him was always one of disapproval but Ezra knew her enough to be certain that the feigned dislike was only for show. She always claiming that he and Julia were children who needed looking after. Despite her caustic manner, she had become a part of the Standish family and had continued to be the same even after the children were born. Ezra's relationship with the woman achieved greater strength when she saw that he was more than prepared to stay at home to raise the children when Penny and Peter were born, so that Julia could continue working in the Emporium, a thing she truly loved doing. 

Mrs Riley's presence ensured that when Maude unexpectedly made a visit, the household was more than capable of presenting his mother with the welcome that was her due. Though Ezra could not fathom how it came about, Maude and Mrs Riley seemed to strike up an unlikely friendship and Ezra often had little difficulty in convincing the lady to join them for dinner whenever Maude was in town. Under normal circumstances, Mrs Riley would not have even considered it.

"So where is Julia today?" Maude asked as they sat down to the meal. 

"Momma's in Eagle Bend." Penny answered quickly, beaming at her grandmother as she answered. 

"What ever is she doing there?" Maude looked at Ezra after giving Penny a little wink. 

"Miss Julia is on a buying trip or something of the like." Mrs Riley remarked. 

"Miss Julia?" Ezra gave her a look. "Mrs Riley, Julia and I have been married for a better part of a decade. At what point are you going to stop calling her Miss?" 

"Oh Ezra, leave Megan alone." Maude chuckled, perfectly aware that the lady was only doing it to irritated her son, a talent she could not berate anyone for when she did it so well herself. Maude and Mrs Riley shared a conspiratory wink before she turned back to Ezra. 

"So mother, to what do we owe this visit?" Ezra asked once the two women had amused themselves at his expense and once his twins stopped giggling. Sometimes, he wondered if he was the only sane person in his family and then recalled that he was just as hopelessly infected. 

"Oh nothing," Maude shrugged immediately, having no wish to have a delightful meal ruined because of one Mr Simon Doyle. "I just felt the need to see my grandchildren." Maude turned to Peter and Penny and smiled. "And you too of course," she added as an afterthought to Ezra, giving him a decidedly wicked gleam as she made the statement. 

Ezra stared at his mother, perfectly aware when she was telling an untruth and knew that she was in the midst of delivering such a fabrication to him at this moment. However, Ezra did not pursue it because his mother was always full of secrets and if he attempted to get to the bottom of every white lie she had ever told, he would be a thousand years old and still no closer to accomplishing the task. Besides, Maude had a way of telling him if it was required his attention and beyond that, Ezra was in no particular hurry to intrude on his mother's personal affairs.

"And we're thrilled to have you here of course." Ezra responded. "Aren't we children?"  

Two voice responded in unison but Penelope and Peter were also studying their grandmother and while their father seemed unconcerned by Maude's rather flimsy explanation, the two children who adored her was not as settled. They could tell just as their father had that Maude was lying but could not understand why their grandmother would resort to that. Maude had never lied to them and she was the one person who truly treated them like adults and always seemed to understand what getting into trouble was all about. Giving each other a look, the twins made an unspoken decision to investigate the situation once the opportunity arose.  

After all, Maude was  _their_  grandmother. 

* * *

The opportunity to learn the truth about Maude's unexpected visit did not emerge until the next day or so. As usual, during their grandmother's visits to Four Corners, the twins took every opportunity to be with her, completely aware that she paid little attention to the rules set by their parents. Although Maude was not thoughtless enough to take them into the saloons, she did allow the twins to accompany her to the hotel's gambling hall where, as she put it, the real skills of life needed to be learnt. Of course Maude always ensured that they only accompanied her to such haunts during the day when the clientele was not so drunk or rowdy because not even her own jaded sense of maternal instinct would allow her to be so irresponsible with her grandchildren.

Not that either child minded very much if she was because they enjoyed being with their grandmother immensely. They loved sitting at her table and watching her make all the other opponents squirm, all the while wearing a smile of complete innocence on her face. Penny had spent most of her life trying to imitate that smile while Peter learnt how to be immune to it. Maude seem to know people and while his views and Penny's differed on what should be important skills, they were both agreed that understanding people was important knowledge to have on hand. They also loved the noise and the color of the gambling houses, especially since it was usually forbidden to them. While their mother tolerated them being taught to play cards (it was sacrilegious if a Standish could not), she would not endure them being in such an inappropriate place.

"You see now my darlings how it's done?" Maude smiled sweetly at the duo watching her as she placed all her winnings into her purse after sending the latest round of opponents away from the table a lot less flushed then they were when they had initially sat down to play. Peter and Penny were seated next to their grandmother during most of the game, watching how smoothly she played cards and her opponents for that matter. 

"What if they get mad?" Penny asked, unable to imagine taking all of a person's money could have gone as smoothly as they just witnessed. Maude was just showing them the finer points of winning gracefully and all the social etiquette's to be observed during the process, like for instance never counting one's money until after the game was done and the players had left the table. It made for interesting viewing, even though it had a tendency to be rather nerve wracking at times, especially when the men she was playing realised they were being beaten by a woman.

"Well my dear," Maude turned an eye in her direction. "It all comes down to a matter of selecting the right opponents. There are some men who just by the look of them appear to be difficult."

"What happens if you're wrong grandma?" Peter asked. "I don't want them to hurt you."

Maude let out a little sigh of warmth and let her hand cupped the small boy's face. "You are so gallant my sweet boy but I am seldom wrong and you'll be surprised how many men will come to the aid of a lady."

"Besides," Penny nudged Peter in the ribs, refusing to believe that anyone could get the better of Maude. "Grandma won't play with the ones that will hurt her and most of the time men don't think a woman can get the better of them anyway."

"That's exactly right." Maude replied, glad she had thought her grand daughter so well. "It is an unfortunate fact of life my dear boy that men think that we women have no power to us but they're wrong." 

"I know that." Peter shrugged. He himself was infatuated with a young lady who could do very well for herself needing the aid of no man. Sam had useful knowledge in her head and was unconcerned by the silly things that other girls seemed to like. The things Sam considered beautiful were real things, like the land and the wildlife that grew upon it. He shared that perspective although his affection for it was not as powerful as Sam's. 

"You don't have to tell him grandma," Penny said teasingly. "He knows all about it. He likes Samantha." 

"Penny!" Peter groaned in embarrassment and his face turned red. "And you don't moon over Mike?" 

" _Everybody_  moons over Mike." Penny retorted, allowing the remark to slide off her easily. Penny did not know any girl her age in the town of Four Corners who did not swoon at the sight of Mike Larabee at one point or another. However, the truth of the matter was, those in their set knew clearly where Mike's heart was placed and it was with Elena Rose.

"Is that Vin Tanner's little girl?" Maude asked, becoming familiar enough with all the seven to know exactly whom Penny was referring to. "The one always dressed like a boy?" She glanced at Peter in question.

"No!" Peter declared vehemently, wishing he could go somewhere and hide. "She's just another girl." 

"Sure." Penny snorted derisively.

"Now Penelope," Maude gave her a look. "Leave your brother alone. Affairs of the heart are a delicate thing and we must always take care."

"Sorry grandma." Penny nodded but smirked at her brother, who was glowering, in her direction.

"So have you told the young Miss Samantha how you feel?" Maude inquired. 

"No!" Peter gasped exasperated, wishing this subject had never come up and reminding himself that the dead rat he had found underneath the house would soon find a new place and purpose by the time he was done with his loud mouth sister.

"Why not?" Maude questioned, guessing from Peter's reaction that Penny's assertions about his feelings for young Miss Tanner were quite true.

"Because she'll hit me!" Peter retorted. "Sam's not like other girls. She doesn't like wearing dresses and she climbs trees and she knows how to skip stones and she's just _perfect_." He capped off the sentence with a soft sigh.

"My goodness, he does have it bad." Maude looked in Penny's direction, only to have her granddaughter nod in agreement.

"You have no idea." Penny rolled her eyes.

"Will you quit it!" Peter grumbled, wishing to see this topic's discussion end once and for all. He felt humiliated enough as it was. What if Sam was to find out? He'd never live down the shame.

"Peter," Maude ran her hand over his shoulder. "We're not being unkind, we're trying to help. Now if you truly like this girl, you should tell her."

Peter stared at Maude uncertainly, aware that she was probably right if it had been any one else but Sam. However, since it was Sam, he was not even going to entertain the notion because he had no wish to have the crap beaten out of him at her reaction. "You don't know Sam."

"Good thinking kid." A decidedly male voice remarked over them. "You never know how a woman's going to react when you come clean with her."

Maude faced front and found herself staring at Simon Doyle who was standing at her table, with two of his men, his eyes focussing on her so hard that Maude suddenly felt uncomfortable that the children were here. Trying to hide her shock at how he could be here and coming to the conclusion a split second later that he had had obviously followed her, Maude felt exposed and vulnerable. She wanted to tell Penny and Peter to leave because she did not want their relationship known to her family.

"What are you doing here?" She managed to ask after a moment; her voice had shriveled to a dry hiss.

Penny and Peter could tell immediately that their grandmother was nervous and that this man was undoubtedly the reason she had made her hasty departure from her native St Louis to take refuge in Four Corners. The man standing before them was big. He reminded them a little of Uncle Josiah in his bulk but his coloring was fairer and he seemed ungainly in his suit. Penny had the impression that he did not feel comfortable in one. Beneath his hat was silver grey hair and he wore a large moustache, not unlike the one Uncle Buck wore but only his was tinged with a little more grey. He glanced at Maude with laughing blue eyes and gave Penny a wink before eyeing Maude again.

"You left." He declared.

"You gave me no other choice." Maude returned stiffly. 

"You didn't have to leave." He said impatiently. "I'm not such a brigand that I would harm you." 

"You're harming me by this insane desire for marriage!" Maude cried out with the same exasperation that  

"Marriage?" Peter and Penny said in unison as they stared at each other for a brief second and then at Maude. 

"It will never happen!" She snapped, rising to her feet. 

"Maude, you love me. Admit it." 

"NEVER!" Maude growled. "I am sixty years old and the benefit of age is having to know that there comes a time when it is simply too late for love and marriage and for me that is more true than anyone else! I have no wish to be married. I did it five, nay almost six times and with the exception of the first, none of the others were equal to it so I have no wish to place myself in that kind of bondage again." 

"Bondage?" Doyle chuckled almost bemused by her reaction. "I'm talking about marriage, not slavery!" The two men beside him had scattered to the bar, preferring a drink that witnessing their employer's debate with the love of his life. 

"Is there a difference?" Maude declared as she leaned over the table and challenged him to produce a suitable response.

"Of course there is!" He laughed and the twins realised that he was armed with a confidence that seemed to be solidifying his cause no matter what Maude said. What did he know about their grandmother that made him so supreme in his belief that Maude was the one for him? "Maude, you are the most incredible woman I have ever met. You're steel wrapped up in velvet and I like that. I wouldn't change you for anything!"

"That's what all you men say!" Maude threw up her hands in defeat as she stormed out away from the table, completely forgetting about her two grandchildren in her haste to depart. "First its, I love you as you are my darling Maude and the next thing you know, is maybe you could stay home more, maybe you could be more like other wives, maybe you could COOK!" She punctuated that last statement by throwing up her hands in disgust and sweeping out the door.

"Wow." Peter exclaimed with his eyes wide. "I don't think I've ever seen grandma so mad before." 

"Neither have I." Penny replied, easing further back into her chair. 

Doyle continued to stare at the batwing doors, even after Maude had well and truly gone. It was a few seconds before he noticed the twins and turned his attention to them.  

"Well hello there." Doyle leaned over and stuck his hand out at Peter first. "You must be Peter."  

"That's me," Peter nodded and took out the hand offered to him.  

Doyle shook it warmly and then turned to Penny. However, instead of the usual handshake, he gave Penny a more continental greeting and completely charmed the little girl with that one act. Even though her grandmother seemed set on rejecting this man, Penny could not help but like him. She wondered what grandmother was so afraid of. Doyle seemed likeable enough.

"You are as pretty as your grandmother described you." He said warmly before lowering himself down into the chair. "Please to meet you both. I'm Simon Doyle." 

Instead of leaving the hotel now that Maude had gone, the twins lingered behind a while longer. They liked Mr Doyle and were curious about why his proposal of marriage and upset their grandmother as it had done. It did not look as if Grandma Maude disliked Mr Doyle as much as she disliked the idea of marriage. Besides, the twins had often heard mama saying that Grandma Maude ought to think about settling down, with daddy snorting openly at the idea. The conversation usually ended with their father making some comment regarding the climatic condition of hell becoming decidedly cold before such a thing would happen. Besides, they were fascinated by the idea of a potential suitor for their grand mother's hand. 

"It doesn't look like grandma Maude wants to marry you Mister Doyle." Peter pointed out. "Maybe she don't like you." 

"Peter!" Penny exclaimed, mortified by his sensitivity. 

"Oh she likes me alright," he said confidently with a smile on his face that neither of them could understand. "She just don't like being married."

"I don't understand." Peter looked at him with confusion. 

"Peter, honestly." Penny rolled her eyes. "Grandma Maude is a free spirit. She can't be tamed. When I grow up I'm going to be an actress so I'll never marry either."

 Doyle chuckled and replied gallantly, enjoying the company of the children very much. "And I sure you'll be a great one Miss Penelope, but you should never say never."

"Oh no!" Peter exclaimed when his eyes darted to the doorway of the saloon and he saw their father walking into the establishment.

"Its daddy!" Penny burst out and immediately drew Ezra's attention to their table.

Ezra Standish had been engaged in a game of cards with JD on the front walk of the jail house when he noticed Maude storming out of the hotel with an expression on her face that could only be described as fury. He knew his mother was not prone to outward displays of anger for she was like him in that respect, preferring to keep her emotions under tight rein. He was almost tempted to follow her and seek out the cause of her annoyance when he remembered the last known whereabouts of his two children was in the her company prior to entering the hotel. Common sense told him that Penelope and Peter would know better than to remain in the establishment without Maude but fatherly suspicion had driven him to the place to make sure for himself.

 He did not know whether or not he should pleased that he was proven right for his suspicions or equally angered that they had disobeyed one of the most fundamental rules set out not only by Julia but himself as well. He knew perfectly well what it was like to grow up in the walls of a saloon or some gambling house. When he was dragged cross-country with Maude, that was all he had ever known and he wanted a more idyllic and conventional upbringing for his children. While he would not forbid Maude to bring them into the gambling house, he certainly felt that she ought to have been responsible enough to see to it that they were with her when she left. Neither was he too impressed to find Peter and Penny at a table with a strange man that was not a native of the town. Considering the enemies the seven had made in their lifetime, the rule about strangers was almost as important as venturing unsupervised in gambling house. He wished Julia were here because now he would have to discipline th e duo and she was much better at it then he was. A smile from Penelope or a remorseful look from Peter was usually all it took to crumble his resolve in such matters.

"Would you care to explain what you two are doing here?" Ezra asked tautly when he arrived at the table occupied by his children and Simon Doyle. 

"Grandma Maude just left us." Penny quickly said.  

"Oh really." Ezra gave her a hard stare. "Neither of you are infants. You are aware of the rules regarding your presence in this establishment alone." 

"But...." Peter started to say but Ezra silenced him with a look.

"I want you both home. Now." Ezra said sharply.

"Excuse me," Doyle immediately felt his heart crumbling at the expression on the faces of both children as they looked on in dismay at incurring their father's displeasure. "This is my fault. I held them up here when their grandmother left." 

"And you are?" Ezra turned to the man as if noticing him for the first time. 

"Simon Doyle." The Alaskan magnate darted his hand in Ezra's direction. "I take it you're Ezra, Maude's son?" 

"Yes," Ezra nodded; wondering who this stranger was in his ill-fitting suit of finest quality. Doyle's manner reminded Ezra of Vin whenever the tracker was required to wear something a little more formal then the buckskin jacket he was accustomed to. "And I take it you're the reason why my mother departed the vicinity in such a hurry?" 

"More or less." Doyle shrugged and then glanced at the two children. "Don't blame them for staying here. I got to talking to them and held them up. I should have known better than to keep them in a place like this." 

Ezra felt his anger fade a little at the genuine sincerity of the stranger's words and in truth, he was never very good at playing the authoritarian with his children anyway. "Well, I suppose that under the circumstances I shall let it go this time." He looked at both Penny and Peter who were looking sombre indeed. He ended his statement with a little smile, a gesture that told the two things were all right between them. His gesture immediately inspired corresponding smiles from the twins who were more than happy to know that their father was no longer upset at them.

"I'm sorry daddy." Penny said sweetly and then remembered the reason why they were here in the first place. "Daddy!" She suddenly burst out. "Mr Doyle wants to marry grandma!"

Ezra looked sharply at Doyle in horror as well as admiration at the same time. "Your apologies are not needed Mr Doyle, it appears that you are in need of the same from me."

Doyle chuckled and responded. "She said you had a silver tongue on you." 

"Under the circumstances," Ezra replied, suddenly very interested in Doyle's presence in Four Corners. "I think we need to discuss this over a drink."

* * *

Ezra soon learnt that Mr Doyle and Maude had been constant companion for the last four months in St Louis. A native of Alaska since 1859 when the Russians had made the first overtures of selling the territory to the United States, Doyle had made his fortune in gold. Gold had been discovered in Alaska long before the boom created by the discovery at Silver Bowl Basin which precipitating the massive gold rush across the Klondike. By the time the 100,000 prospectors arrived in the Klondike, Doyle was already a rich man having expanded his interests to include investments in oil, coal and salmon canneries. By the time the war had arrived, Doyle was well on his way to making his fortune and was by the present day, a self made millionaire with no need to ever concern himself with money again. Taking a respite from a lifetime of hard work, Doyle had come to St Louis, the city of his birth.

A life such as his did not allow for a wife and though he had no special interest in acquiring one when he arrived in St Louis, Doyle was not adverse to the idea of companionship in his later years. He was enamoured by Maude almost from the first moment of their meeting. The duo had been seldom out of each other's company during the past four months. Unfortunately, the instant he had proposed to the lady, Maude had panicked and fled St Louis, leaving Doyle with no explanation and in a state of puzzlement. While Doyle found her behavior perplexing, Ezra was actually surprised that she had lasted four months. Other than the father he barely remembered, Maude's history with her past husbands spoke plainly that the lady was ill suited for marriage to a conventional man. Having expensive tastes and strong independence were not traits that led to a successful marriage and after the fifth husband, Ezra knew Maude had more or less given up trying.

 Strangely enough, Doyle had the same effect upon Ezra that he had upon the children. Despite Ezra's natural tendencies to keep everyone at arm's length until he knew them better, he found himself warming to Mr Simon Doyle and had the belief that his effect upon Maude had been the same. There was a time when Ezra was nervous about any man turning his eye upon his mother but being married with a family of his own had altered his perspective. He wanted the same kind of happiness for his mother although he had always thought the chances of finding a match for her to be so astronomical, it would not even be worth laying a bet on. However Doyle was different and Ezra was an astute enough observer of human nature to know that the persona before him was the genuine article.

"Well if you permit me to give you some advice," Ezra said after their second round of drinks. "My mother is fiercely independent and marriage threatens to take that away from her. You must understand that she is accustomed to going where she pleases. Perhaps companionship is the best that you may aspire to."

"It isn't right." Doyle said firmly. "I've been working all my life. I barely stopped to appreciate the finer things like a woman's love and a family. I can live with the sacrifice because I'm not ashamed of what I've done but my stop over in St Louis was unintentional. I had only planned to be there a few weeks before I on travelling to Europe. I want to see the world before I die. I don't want to waste what life I got left and I want Maude to see it with me. I've got a fortune that I probably won't dent even I circled the globe twice but I do want to share the good things it can give me with her."

"Daddy we got to do something!" Penny exclaimed, completely won over by Doyle's speech.

Ezra turned to his daughter. "Are you suggesting that we interfere in this?"

"Not interfere, help things along." She insisted. "We've got to convince grandma to get married."

"Good luck," Ezra snorted. "Your grandmother does not do anything she does not wish. Trust me,  _I_   _know_."

"Then we have to come up with a scam." Peter stated.

 "A scam?" All three looked at him.

 "A con dad." The young boy repeated himself and faced Doyle. "You said that grandma likes you but doesn't like being married. She doesn't like being married because she thinks you're gonna try and tell her what to do."

 "That's right," Doyle nodded, liking the way the boy put things so simply.

 "Well then maybe we can convince grandma that Mr Doyle isn't going to do that, that he will have her anyway, even if that way is terrible." Peter met his father's gaze hoping he could take over from there.

Ezra considered the problem for a moment. "I may have an idea on how to achieve that." He spoke up with a dimpled grin a second later. "Providing of course, you children are prepared to help me in this endeavor."

'It  _was_  my plan dad." Peter frowned.

"Yes and believe me, it brings a tear to my eye knowing that the art of the con will survive me." Ezra said feeling a great deal of paternal pride at the moment. "However, in the mean time, I require you to gather some of your friends. For this little ruse to work, we need a few more cards in the deck."

* * *

Maude was already at home when Ezra arrived there to put into effect the first stage of his plan. As anticipated, the lady was not eager to talk about what had caused her abrupt departure from the hotel. Maude could be terribly closed mouthed about her feelings when she was not dispensing maternal advice, such as it was. Still Ezra could tell by her agitated manner that she was not so much frightened for her life as she was for her lifestyle and that convinced him that her feelings for Mr Doyle was not laced with dislike as she would have them believe. Besides, if Doyle had meant nothing to her, Maude would have turned him down and remained in St Louis with little reason to worry about the man's hurt feelings. The fact that she had felt the need to depart St Louis to hide in Four Corners for a time, told Ezra a great deal.

"So you have no affection for this man at all?" Ezra questioned her inside the parlor of the Standish home where she had been taking tea.

"Not at all." Maude said stiffly. "He is infatuated with me in the same way as that corpulent toad Preston Wingo, God rest his soul."

"I see." Ezra nodded. "So I take it you would like him permanently gone from your life?"

"Why of course." Maude responded but her answer did not come as automatic as it should have and there was a slight flutter in her voice when she made the statement.

Ezra pretended not to notice the lapse and continued speaking. "Then I have a plan."

"A plan?" Maude stared at him. "What sort of plan?"

"Let us say that by the time we're through with Mr Doyle, he'll never trouble you again."

"I'm intrigued," Maude replied with a smile on her face which Ezra knew to be completely for his benefit alone.

* * *

The plan as devised by himself and his son culminated in the arrival of Simon Doyle at the Standish residence a few hours later. Ezra had invited the man for supper in order to play out the final act of this little ruse concocted by himself and given life by his son after he had sufficiently set the stage for the performance to begin. The more he observed Maude's reactions, the more he became convinced that she indeed shared Doyle's feelings but was too afraid to let him into her life for all the changes it would mean to her life. Although Ezra would never dream of interfering, he did know how obtuse Maude could sometimes be and knew that for her own good, he would have to break his own rules regarding her business to secure her happiness.

Ezra was only grateful that Julia was still in Eagle Bend.

"It appears we are on." Maude took a deep breath as she heard the front door knock. Hopefully this would not take very long and once it was done, Simon would leave and never trouble her again. However, even as the thought crossed her mind, Maude felt a pang of sorrow at seeing him go. Why did he have to go spoil it all with a proposal of marriage? Things were going so well until then.

"We certainly are." Ezra nodded and glanced at his children who had their own parts to play in this and quickly scattered to take their places.

Ezra paused to look in the mirror as Mrs. Riley went to answer the door while Maude awaited Doyle within the parlor. Ezra's appearance was rather disheveled and he stunk of liquor. The reflection that stared back at him was a man who had crumbled to the excesses of life and was now no better than a drunken derelict, not fit to be married or to care for his children. Mrs, Riley paused at the door and glanced in Ezra's direction, waiting to see if he had any final instructions before she proceeded further. Ezra merely nodded and gave her the signal she needed before entering the parlor and beginning his performance.

"You have to take them mother!" He shouted at Maude who stifled a smile as she spoke her own lines.

"But Ezra, your children need you!" Maude cried out with just as much intensity.

"They need a mother and since their mother has run off with some banker in Eagle Bend, all they have is me! I am barely capable of looking after myself, let a lone a gaggle of infants!" Ezra returned in a perfectly imitation of the louse he was trying to be. 

"Ezra I am too old to raise children!" Maude responded, delivering just as stellar a performance as her son. After all, he did learn from the best, she thought to herself.  

They timed their pause long enough to allow Mrs. Riley to appear on the scene with Doyle in tow. Doyle appeared confused and somewhat embarrassed at having walked in on such a volatile family squabble.  

"Mr Doyle is here for dinner." The housekeeper announced his presence and then exited as quickly as possible, having no desire to be caught in the argument that was tearing the household apart. 

"Oh Simon," Maude turned to him in dismay. "I didn't want you to hear any of this!" 

"Hear what?" Doyle asked innocently.  

"My family troubles." Maude went to him and dropped her shoulders with a heavy sigh. "This is my son Ezra." 

"I gathered." He glanced quickly at Ezra and then back to Maude again. "What's happening?" 

"My wife absconded with a banker!" Ezra snapped, his words escaping him in a slur. "She has left me with a household of children!"

"That's unfortunate." Doyle said apologetically. 

"Its worse that unfortunate," Maude declared with an exaggerated expression of dismay. "He want  _me_  to take my grandchildren to St Louis. All seven of them."

"Seven?" Doyle stared at her in obvious shock. "You have seven grandchildren?" 

"Yes," Ezra nodded. "Five of the most unruly brats you've ever had misfortune to lay your eyes upon. CHILDREN! GET OUT HERE! Let Mr Doyle take a look at you." Ezra completed the speech by stumbling off his feet and falling into his wing chair. 

"That's why I cannot marry you Simon," Maude explained quickly as a cacophony of feet started moving through the house towards the parlor. Chattering voices broke the sound of footsteps as Penny entered first, followed by Peter, Sam, Adam, Kyle, Annette and Jimmy. Peter had filled the younger children on what they had to do and they were more than happy to participate in a little bit of role-playing. "I have all these children to look after now. It would be unfair to put that responsibility upon you as well."

Just to emphasize what a Herculean effort it would be to look after so many children; Sam and Penny started fighting. It was a display of pushing and shoving that soon saw both little girls rolling on the floor, tearing at each others, with the sound of ripping fabric, appearing intermittently upon the litany of angry words being flung at each other.

"You're such a tomboy!"

"Well you even hit like a girl!"

"You're a ruffian!"

"You're prissy!"

"Take that back!"

"Will not!"

The harsh words seemed to frighten Annette who promptly burst into tears, her high-pitched squeal tearing through air and through their ears with shocking efficiency. Ezra started to shouting at all of them, making some reference to his head and the hangover that could not endure such noise, while Peter and Adam's efforts to pull the girls apart sent them both stumbling into furniture, upending a small side table of all its contents. Ceramic objects shattered against the floor as the table flipped over but its impact was drowned in the overwhelming noise being generated from so many fronts. The room was a monument to chaos with everyone playing their parts superbly. 

"You see!" Maude cried out to Doyle above all this. "I can't marry you! I couldn't expect you to accept all this responsibility!" 

"Of course you can!" Doyle laughed, finding the whole scene amusing more than anything else. "I love you Maude. I don't care if you come with this or anything else for that matter. If you need to take care of this mob, I want to do it with you. They're a little crazy but hell so are we!"

Maude stared at him in astonishment. "You're insane!"  

"Why?" He asked, loving the whole idea of this insane family he was getting if he succeeded in convincing Maude to marry him. "They're your family, I couldn't turn my back on them anymore than I could turn my back on you! Maude I don't care what obstacles there are, I only care about you!"

Maude could not believe this! How could any sane man want a part of this lunacy? "After we're married, you could change! You'll want me to be different, to be more like a proper wife! I'm not like other wives, Simon! I never could be. I've been married five times and for four of those times, I had to leave just because of that!"  

"I don't want you to be like other wives Maude!" Doyle retorted. "If I wanted that I could have gotten any number of society matrons who were sticking to me like bees to honey in St Louis. I don't want someone whose only gonna care about what looks proper. You don't give a damn about what anyone thinks of you Maude and when you want something, you go out and get it. You love life and you know to live it to its best. I want to know what that's like Maude, I've spent my life building this fortune and never had any idea what to do with it. I want us to travel, to live the high life, to see Paris and ride that gondola in Venice you talked about. I want to see you take some snooty Count for all the money he's worth when you get to Monte Carlo. Champagne and caviar Maude, that's the kind of life I want for us."

"That's  _so_  romantic." Penny sighed, having stopped fighting long ago when Doyle had made his empathic plea. In fact the whole room had become silent as they listened to the suitor make his impassioned bid for Maude's hand.

 "Oh boy!" Sam rolled her eyes and then the two girls started to giggle at their earlier antics.

Maude looked at Ezra and the convenient way everything had fallen into place for Doyle to make his speech and started to get the impression that she was the one who had been played, not the man who would be her new husband. "My darling boy, you need to explain yourself."

 Ezra broke into a grin, aware that the ruse was up. "Mother, you always told me that life is a gamble. I think its time you take one yourself. I know you mother and I know that you care deeply for Mr Doyle here who has convinced me that he will not follow the path of his predecessors. Take a chance mother, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised." 

"And you were all in it?" Maude looked at the seven children before her. With the exception of her own grandchildren, Maude received confirming nods from the five visitors. 

"It was Peter's plan." Penny said proudly and grinned at her brother. 

"Well," Maude started to smile. "It appears that the art won't be lost after all." She glanced at Ezra. 

"I guess not." Ezra responded, ruffling his son's hair.  

Maude turned back to Doyle and took a deep breath. She did love him. In fact, she had not loved anyone like him for a very long time. He reminded her so much of the man she had lost, the one who had given her Ezra and the precious family that followed. She had never thought she would find anyone like him again and now Doyle was in her life, proving that fate did offer a second chance. She had tried so hard to deny how she felt but if Ezra and her grandchildren could see that she loved him, then there was no way of denying it to herself anymore. "This could be a very bad mistake on your part, Simon." She remarked as she gazed into his eyes. "You could be getting more than you bargained for." 

"Nothing about you could be a mistake Maude," Doyle replied and leaned in for a kiss.  

When their lips met, the children exploded into a round of applause and cheering. Ezra merely watched, feeling this sense of warmth that told him that his interference was justified because his mother had found someone who truly adored her, which was as it should be. Despite their differences, Ezra wanted the best for her and was more than happy to see to it that she received it in abundance. He had a feeling that Maude's trips to Four Corners would be less frequent after this and though he would miss her seeing her, he was glad that wherever she was, she would be happy. 

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Julia's shocked voice snapped Ezra out of his reverie. 

"She the one who ran off with the banker?" Doyle asked with a gleam of the devil in his eyes that indicated he would fit in with the Standishs' just fine.

"With who?" Came Julia's outraged demand as she came towards him, hands on her hips, eyes blazing. "Ezra, what is going on here?"

 Ezra swallowed thickly and came up with the first answer he could think of.

 "It was Peter's plan."

 


	5. Messiah of Witches

 

By the time Lilith had entered his life, Josiah Sanchez was of the opinion that the concept of fatherhood was one of those missed opportunities in his life he would simply have to live with. It was a state of affairs that was completely self-inflicted when he considered the opportunities he could have had to raise a family and did not. At the time, he believed the decision to be sound; after all, why would he condemn his children to an upbringing that might metamorphose into the one he had experienced. No man sets out to be his father but invariably genetics would turn the tide and one the day a reflection in the mirror would cement its certainty. Even though he had told himself repeatedly that he would not be like his father in the event children did become a part of his existence, Josiah always found reason not to avoid being in that situation. Failure meant turning a daughter into a shadow like his sister Hannah or son becoming an empty shell waiting for the crows to come.

In his later years, when the secular life of a preacher was left behind him, Josiah did acquire a family of sorts. It was not a family in a conventional sense but rather the bond that came from seven misfits who seemed to make perfect sense together. In a sense their fellowship had begun an odyssey of change not just for him but also for all of them. Here in the town of Four Corners, the seven made had found a way to become a part of a larger organism while remaining uniquely set apart. They had found friendship and then love. Josiah was at heart a romantic but had more or less given up hope of meeting the love of his life even though he did indulge in relationships that made the absence of the real thing somewhat tolerable. Most notable of this was the passing friendship he shared with Maude Standish though they were both realistic enough to know it could be anything more then that. They were simply too different for anything permanent, much to Ezra’s relief. 

Therefore it was a pleasant surprise when Audrey King entered his life. 

Their first meeting was not even their first meeting. Not in this reality anyway. Josiah had come to learn over the past few years that reality was not as immutable as people liked to believe it was. The walls between what was perceived and was might were thin indeed and one of the things he learned most succinctly, was beneath the veneer of waking world, was another steeped in shadows and magic. It was a world where reality could be bent and sometimes shaped to suit the needs of those who knew had the power to do so. Despite the beliefs established by Christian dogma, magic was real and depending upon the conjurer, it was not always evil. Certainly, the spell invoked by Audrey’s daughter Lilith was never meant to be malevolent.  

Utilising an old book, which was something of a family heirloom, Lilith had no idea that what she was using so blithely was actually a grimoire, a book of shadows, containing powerful spells from millennia past. Her good intentions in invoking a spell that would grant those around her their fondest wish was a gesture of love not of evil even though any adult would have told the child had they known what she was planning, that such wishes ultimately had a price. While his own wish had placed him at the head of a pulpit being the preacher he always wanted to be, Josiah found that the life was not what he wanted and to no surprise, he preferred the one he had been living even with all its flaws. Although Josiah never discussed with the subject with the others, he noticed a mark difference in their manner when things were restored to its proper order.

Chris Larabee’s grief over the loss of his wife and son, lessened to the degree where he was able to mourn them properly, discarding the guilt that had plagued them since their deaths. Buck Wilmington welcomed happily the idea of being a father and proving that he was capable of remaining faithful to one woman, instead of bedding scores of them like he had been doing in the past. Nathan was able to talk about Rebecca without the guilt that he had survived where she had not. For once, the healer himself healed from wounds that had remained untended far too long. Less and less did Vin rebuke himself for allowing Eli Joe to trick him, citing that for all the inconvenience the man had brought him, being driven to Four Corners was something he would never regret. For JD, the glimmer of youthful brashness had faded from his eyes. There was no more talk of glory and fame. Men for hire did not have friends or lovers, they were solitary creatures that turned on their own. JD had no desire of that fo r himself. Ezra’s thoughts as always were his own and Josiah was certain he was affected just as profoundly as the others had.

In order to reverse the spell, Josiah in that strange world where he had a flock to lead, had sought out Lilith King and met for the first time, he mother Audrey. Audrey was a schoolteacher and the book she had read of the world beyond her existence had given her a viewpoint that was flamboyant and daring. Knowledge was not simply a requirement of surviving in a changing world but the appreciation of poetry, literature, music and art was a staple of existence. She believed that even in the harsh world of the Territory, beauty was where one found it, be in a note sung well or verse written from the heart. He adored her almost from the first even if he was a little afraid of what she could mean to him.  

In that alternate reality, it was he and Audrey who had disappeared into the mists to find Lilith and change things back. Unfortunately, while they had succeeded in that determination, the effects of restoring reality meant that whatever transpired before was erased and so Josiah woke up from his bed and discovered that what he perceived to be an alternate life, was nothing more than a dream. In the real world, he had not even met Audrey. Josiah was not satisfied with that and eventually they did meet and their love for each other survived its false start and flourished. Audrey had no memory of what they had endured together and Josiah did not mind, there was no reason for her to know and so it became his and Lilith’s secret. 

The results of Lilith’s brush with magic had taught Josiah one thing; she had power in her, power that was more than just the Grimoire at work. Josiah studied the text himself later on and learnt that the Grimoire was just a book filled with ancient incantations but on its own, it was inert. Its power lay in those who attempted to work the magic within its pages and whether it was fate or pure coincidence, Josiah did not know for sure, the book had fallen into Lilith’s hands because she was the only one strong enough to use its magic. Her first spell had seen her bringing down the walls of reality and shaping it accordingly. Josiah was certain that she had yet to reach her true potential and would only grow more adept with age. 

Forbidding her to use the book or learn about her powers was an impossibility and not necessarily wise, Josiah had learnt early on. She needed to learn control and mastery over her natural gifts. The preacher in him worried about her soul, whether she would be damned for playing with such supernatural forces. However repressing them, forcing her to go underground to learn could be equally damning. Thus he did nothing of the sort and offered advice and sometimes guided her when it was necessary. She learnt but she learnt slowly and she understood that power, whatever form it took, could corrupt and in understanding that she was cautious.  

By the time Josiah had married Audrey and they all lived under one roof, he had become more than her conscience and her teacher, she had become the father she had lost so long ago. Of all the thing she had been, being her father was the best of all these and he loved being that to her. He knew he could never replace the man who had sired her and so Josiah did not try. He was her stepfather but he was her friend first. He was the warm voice that coaxed her to sleep when a nightmare needed a strong, firm presence to chase away its unpleasant after effects. He was the teacher who taught her how to ride her first horse and showed her that books were not merely for spells and knowledge but were receptacles of wisdom beyond fact, that the soul needed feeding almost as much as the mind.  

Josiah also found that being the father figure in her life meant that he learnt to. Children as he found out like the others in the fellowship, were a learning experience. While he did not have an infant to deal with, the fact that he would deal with a teenage daughter far sooner than anyone else in the group, made the others pay attention to what he was doing. Lilith’s adolescence was no different than any other young girls and Josiah had all the usual headaches, rebelliousness, obnoxiousness, peer pressure and all the other uncertainties that came with growing up. In some ways, knowing JD had prepared Josiah for it a little and he was not alone in attempting to understand what was going through Lilith’s head during those turbulent years. Audrey suffered along with him and by the time Lilith was sixteen, Josiah had come to the conclusion that there was nothing else that could catch him unawares. 

He was wrong. 

Coming of age for Lilith King was very different indeed for one as tethered to the spirit world as she and until her sixteenth birthday, Josiah realised how truly mistaken he was about what he perceived to be magic. 

* * *

They had been watching the girl for almost a year now in secret. 

This was not easy to do in a town where everyone knew each other and where strangers were often viewed with deep scrutiny, especially by the seven men who acted as the town’s protectors. Officially, Four Corners had a sheriff but everyone knew that when trouble arose, the seven men would come together to stave it off. The acolytes were reluctant to engage the seven because there was an aura about their fellowship that was deeply binding and formidable. The acolytes who lived their lives in accordance to such things recognised it, just as they recognise that the number seven was a number of power. The men who were once called the Magnificent Seven and still remembered fondly as such were threads intertwined, whatever the reality they may exist. Fate had a vested interest in the fellowship of the seven and the acolytes were reluctant to tamper with destiny it had planned.  

However, the acolytes had learnt long ago just how to blend in. The nature of what they were made it an absolute necessity to move about the world unnoticed, without drawing suspicion. Too many of their own had made mistakes in the past where Christianity and pious puritans with little tolerance for anything beyond their own dogged beliefs had obliterated their numbers in barbaric rituals of torture and fire. With this acquired expertise, the acolytes had carried out their surveillance diligent, keeping a close eye on their quarry, starting from their first discovery of her until the present time where her coming of age was now a matter of days away.

They had never expected to find her.

For some of the coven, their faith had been eroded from years of searching. After so many disappointments, they had started to believe that the prophecy was merely words, that there was no chosen one and little point to watching the stars for the signs that would herald her birth. Then by some miracle, the markers indicated in all the portents appeared and the planetary alignment that had been foretold so long ago in the book they revered so much. Of course finding the child had been no easy thing even with so much written about her birth and studied closely by the learned members of the order. It took them nearly fifteen years to find her, all the while feeling time pressing up their spines, the closer the approach of her sixteenth year became.

The rest of the order had slowly filtered into town over the past few weeks, entering the community with as much anonymity as the others that had watched over the girl for the past year. There was no doubt in their minds that she was the one they had sought. Her aura was powerful, stronger than they had possibly imagined. Her potential was a beacon of blazing white light in the darkest night and those who knew how to see, could feel it. She of course was oblivious to their surveillance but had some idea but had some idea of the craft despite her best efforts to hide it. It more or less removed any remaining doubt in their mind that she was the one they had waited for so long.

Charles Godfrey Leland arrived in Four Corners two days before Lilith King was to turn sixteen.

A native of the continent, Leland had spent his entire life in the pursuit of witchcraft and fancied himself a warlock though he had never manifested the power he knew was within his reach if he was only taught how. His talents were limited to card readings, a prescience which was dubious in his results and a charismatic manner that was capable of duping many into becoming his followers. His followers came from all walks of life, from the indolent rich to the poor and uneducated, linked by their ambition to have power beyond imagination. They all wanted to be greater than they were and relied upon his religion to give them that glory.

Leland had become the head of the order when he came into the company of an Etruscan witch named Maddalena during his travels in Italy. A frightening and shrivelled old crone, Maddalena had been something of a local celebrity in her village. The dedicated Roman Catholic priests were reluctant to cause her any trouble because for all the piety of Christian religion, the worship that Maddalena engaged in was older than Christ was, its origins dating back to the Roman Empire. Superstitious and poorly educated, it was easy for the villagers to believe that the witch was an agent of the gods that predated the Christians and gods, no matter how old should never be dishonoured.

When Leland came to her, Maddalena had seen in him a willing student, not to mention an heir deserving of the knowledge buried inside her aging mind. He in turn was mesmerised by her knowledge and for a time they forged the deep bonds formed between master and pupil. He learnt that he had no ability with the craft for it was something that had to be taught to those who were not born under the grace of the moon. Only a select few were ever born favoured while the rest wandered aimlessly, searching for a missing part of themselves they did not understand.

Maddalena was keeper to an ancient text known as the Gospel of Witches or after its primary figure, Aradia. According to the writings on the old and yellowed paper, Aradia was daughter to Diana, the Goddess of Moon. It was Aradia’s destiny to establish the craft on Earth. For a time, she had done that, creating a generation of mages, sorcerers, conjurers and other practitioners of the supernatural arts that would pursue history until the time of her return, where she would teach new lessons, new spells for the new age that was dawning. Without her teachings, the new order, the one where science and logic could crush the spiritual world with equations and invention, would ensure the end of the craft for all time.  

Leland became fascinated by this legend. With a world that was even now, leaving the craft behind with Darwin and his stories of simian ancestors, Mendel and his ideas on genetics and Babbage who was creating machines that were capable of thinking like men, Aradia’s presence was never more needed then now. Aradia had to come and for the next few years, Leland armed with the Gospel given to him by Maddalena, prepared for her coming and watched the sky for signs of her birth. Astonishingly enough, it became apparent that Aradia would emerge not from the land of the ancient but rather across the sea in the New World, specifically in a small town in New Mexico called Four Corners.  

Aradia would be born in the sixteenth year of the girl named Lilith.

* * *

"Josiah I can't do this." Lilith exclaimed, losing her nerve at the very last minute. 

Josiah let out a sigh and cast a patient eye on his stepdaughter, anticipating this resurgence of anxiety at the last minute. "Yes you can." He said gently, in a voice full of nurturing strength. "All you have to do is know it in here." He tapped his chest with a finger.  

"No I can't!" She swallowed, clutching the piece of paper in her hand and wondering what had possessed her to display such presumption? She should have never even voiced it to anyone, most of all Josiah. Josiah had this infuriating knack of making her believe in herself, to make her throw caution to the winds and obey her heart even though her mind knew better. "What if she hates it? I'll never be able to show my face again! Not to the whole town or Billy!"  

Josiah tried not to become impatient at her hysteria. However, he was the father of a teenage daughter and such exaggeration had become commonplace to him by now. Teenagers were a mass of insecurities and fears, bundled up unwisely with raw emotion and stubborness. This latest expression of that was only one in a long line of brush fires he had been present for during her adolescence. It was the same thing when she was thirteen and thought gawkiness was a sure sign of impending ugliness, at the age of fourteen, it was because she was not developing a full enough figure and at fifteen, it was being too tall. Where did all these insecurities come from? Josiah had asked himself on more than one occasion before he remembered that this was what it had been for all of them, be there male or female. They had all gone suffered the same doubt and uncertainty in their adolescence at one point or another. Its content varied but generally the angst was all the same.  

"Lily," Josiah placed his hands on her shoulders so that she could not run away and would be forced to look at him. "I know you can do it." 

Lilith let out a groan of exasperation because when Josiah regarded at her that way, with his eyes full of reassurance that she was as special as he believed, even if she was a wreck at the time, Lilith dared not disappoint him. Still, Josiah never seemed to take her failures as badly as she did. He would merely say in that comforting way that fathers did to the daughter they loved dearly, that it was he was proud of her anyway and that always seemed to make the pain tolerable even if it did not go away entirely. It was his faith that often prompted her to do for herself what she believed she was incapable for fear or some other obstacle that hampered her progress. "You really think I can?" She asked him uncertainly.

"I really think you can." He nodded with a smile. 

She let out a heavy sigh and turned her worried expression in the direction of the Clarion News. Her lips curled into a nervous pout, the one that Josiah had become familiar with since she was ten years old and knew that its appearance was a good sign. It usually indicated that she had made up her mind and was going to launch herself into the fray. She took another breath to steady her resolve before she glanced at him. "You’re right," she swallowed. "I can do this."

"Of course you can.." Josiah egged her on. "Now go do it."

Without saying another word, she marched up to the door of the Clarion News and paused a second, giving Josiah another look, hoping that if he had any last minute thoughts before she did this, the pause would give him time to voice them. Unfortunately he did not and her stall for time dissolved before her eyes, allowing her no other reason for delay. Taking another deep breath, Lilith reached for the doorknob and twisted it open. Entering the offices of the Clarion News and leaving Josiah outside because she needed to do this on her own, Lilith could not ever remember the place feeling so ominous. She had visited the newspaper office countless times over the years with Billy but this was the first time she was not coming here as a friend of a family but rather a supplicant. 

Mary Larabee was at her desk, working on the next edition of the paper when she raised her eyes at Lilith’s entrance into the office. Lilith marvelled at how tireless Mary was and how she managed to juggle being wife, mother and editor with such ease. As it was, Mary was now carrying her third child and the curve in her figure showed that the baby’s birth was only three months away and the lady showed no signs of being hampered by her physical limitations. Lilith never voiced it to anyone, especially Billy but Mary was something of a role model. A perfect balance of so many roles by a person who knew how to have it all and did.

"Hello Lily." Mary greeted with a smile. "What a pleasant surprise." 

"Hello Mrs Larabee." Lilith answered shakily, her fingers trembling slightly as she held onto the paper in her hand. "I’m not bothering you am I?"

"Of course not," Mary retorted, setting her pen down. "What can I do for you?" 

Lilith felt her courage dissolve and for a moment, she merely stood there, unable to force the words out.

Mary could tell immediately by the terrified expression on the girl's face but for the life of her could not fathom what it was.

"Lilith, is something wrong?" The editor of the newspaper asked concerned, rising from her desk and approaching the fearful young woman.

"Oh no!" Lilith returned quickly, cursing herself for fouling things up completely. "Nothing's wrong. I just need to talk to you." She managed to say finally.

The girl was positively trembling, Mary ealised and placed her hand on Lilith's shoulder, in a reassuring gesture to convince her that nothing could be so bad to warrant this kind of anxiety. "Lily, tell me sweetheart, what do you need to talk to me about?"

Swallowing thickly, Lilith remembered Josiah's words about courage and his faith in her to do the right thing. She had rehearsed what she was going to say for the whole of last night so that she would be adequately prepared when the moment of truth arrived. Josiah said she could do it and if he believed in her, then she would have to trust him. That alone was enough to prompt her into speaking.  

"I wrote this." She finally spoke and presented the piece of paper she had been clutching so tightly to Mary after long last.

Mary's face betrayed her surprise but the older woman did not comment as she took the page from Lilith's hand and returned to her desk. After lowering herself onto her chair, Mary reached for the spectacles on her desk and slipped the steel frames glasses over her eyes. She began to read in earnest, unaware that while she did, Lilith was holding her ground before her slowly metamorphosing into jumble of nerves. Mary did not respond as her eyes studied the words before her and the minutes that ticked by as Lilith waited for her to say something felt like an eternity. The wait began to build a steady surge of paranoia run through her as Lilith started to be plagued by all sorts of morale crippling ideas. What if Mary hated it? Why hadn't she picked something more interesting to write about than a local fair? She should have focused on something that had power, not a subject that was laced with a mediocre attempt at good cheer.  

What had made her think she could write in the first place? 

The question came just as Mary looked up at her, having finished reading the page, and perfectly aware that the girl required an answer immediately because her nerves were near breaking point. "Well I must say I'm surprised."

That couldn't be good, Lilith told herself and her face showed her fears for the worst. "Is  _that_  bad?" She dared to ask gingerly a moment later. 

"No," Mary shook her head a slow smile crept across her face. "Actually its very good. I like it. The style needs a little polishing but that's to be expected. There’s a great deal of potential here." 

"You think so?" She asked, almost unable to believe it could be true, that someone as accomplished as Mary Larabee would think that she had potential. "I was sure you would hate it."

"I would never hate anyone's efforts to put pen to paper." Mary responded warmly. "However, I get the sense that you did not simply come here to let me sample your work."

"I want to be a writer like you are." Mary's glowing report had given her the courage to say what this entire exercise had been about. "I want to be a reporter like you. I want you teach me. You don’t have to pay me, I’ll work for free. I just want to learn." 

Mary had suspected as much when she had been given the girl’s sample report and it did not take her long to come to a decision. How many times had Chris told her that she needed help with the paper? It was not as if her days were not full enough and with a baby coming, she would be doubly taxed. Her only resistance to the idea had been the prospect of allowing a stranger free reign over her newspaper that in its own way was also like one of her children. She could not entrust a stranger with it but Lilith was no stranger. Mary had watched her grown up and had insight that some day Lilith would become one of the family. She and Billy were inseparable and had been since they were children and while her son had yet to see Lilith in that way because men were naturally dense about these things, Mary knew her son enough to know that one day Lilith would become someone very dear to him.

"I wouldn’t feel right about letting you work for free," Mary replied and saw the downcast expression appearing on Lilith’s face because the girl had the idea she was about to be turned down. Unable to bare seeing that sorrowful visage once more, Mary quickly added, "I can’t offer you a fortune in salary but how does five dollars a week sound to you?" 

Five dollars a week was more money than Lilith had even imagined. In truth, the financial side of this had never even occurred to her, she was so focussed on winning Mary’s approval that nothing else had mattered. "You want me to work for you?" She stuttered.

"Yes," Mary smiled, taking great satisfaction from the delightful pleasure stealing across Lilith’s face. "I need a junior reporter, someone who can learn the trade and do a few things around here. As you can see," Mary patted the crest of her belly, "I’m not going to be very mobile in the next couple of months and once the baby comes I won’t have much time for awhile. So do you think you’re up to it?"

"Am I up to it!" Lilith burst out and hugged Mary. "I won’t let you down!"

"I know you won’t," Mary laughed, wondering if she had been that enthused when her father had first told her she could start coming to the paper with him. She probably was but it was too long ago and for right now, she was enjoying Lilith’s reaction, feeling as if that there was something terribly right about all this.

"I have to go tell Josiah and ma!" Lilith exclaimed excitedly as she broke away from Mary. 

"Go on," Mary replied and then added as the girl hurried towards the door. "I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early?"

"You’ll be lucky if I don’t camp out on your front door tonight," Lilith chuckled. "Thanks Mrs Larabee."

"If we’re going to be working together, I think you can call me Mary." The editor of the Clarion News remarked. 

"Mary it is then." Lilith answered and then hurried out the door, eager to tell Josiah that once again, he was right. 

* * *

When Lilith emerged from the offices of the Clarion News, she noted that Josiah was no longer on the boardwalk, however, this did not surprise her. He was most likely at the jailhouse where he acted as JD’s deputy, waiting for her to bring back her news, good or bad. The seven still rode together despite their obligations to their families. All that had changed was the details. While Buck, Chris and Vin were too busy with their ranch to take a daily part in the law enforcement of Four Corners, they came together naturally when the threat warranted it. Josiah had remained at JD’s side, guiding the young sheriff when the young man had assumed the duties of the office in all its entirety. When Ezra was not playing a full time father raising his children, the gambler also counted himself as one of JD’s deputies. Thus Lilith made her way to the jailhouse, eager to tell Josiah her news before she went to find Billy.

She was walking down the boardwalk past Gloria Potter’s store when she saw a man standing against the post at the edge of the walkway. He was in his early forties with a thin angular face and dark eyes that seemed focussed on her as she continued walking forward. Lilith felt a shiver of something that could only be defined as a chill run down her spine as she neared him and considered altering her path so that she would take herself out of his way. However, their eyes had made contact and it would be a slight and Lilith had no wish to be rude when all she had to base her discomfort was a feeling. Continuing on her path, she ignored the uneasiness rumbling in her belly as she walked by the man in his expensive suit and hat.

 "Hello there." He greeted politely, raising his hat to her. 

"Hello." Lilith replied, keeping her eyes lowered and not pausing.

"You’re Lilith King aren’t you?" He asked, determined to make contact with her. 

"Yes," Lilith halted because he had used her name and gave her little choice in the matter. Lilith took comfort in the fact that they were in a crowded place and Josiah was a scream away.  

"My name is Charles Leland." He bowed slightly and removed his hat. "I’m new to these parts and I happened to learn of a ravishing beauty who was daughter to the local school teacher." 

Lilith tried not to blush but she did, not merely from his description of her but embarrassment that people might have been speaking about her in such a way. She certainly did not think she looked like a ravishing beauty. Although her mother said she had elfin features, as if her mother had ever actually seen an elf to be able to tell. "My name is Lilith but I’m not beauty as you put it. What do you want?" She asked, trying to sound polite but her voice was laced with suspicion.

"Nothing underhanded I assure you." Leland responded immediately. "Do you know Lilith is the name of Adam’s first wife?"

"Adam as in the first man?" Lilith stared at him.  

"Yes," Leland nodded. "The first man created by God." 

"I didn’t know he had another wife." Lilith answered, interested for the moment in the tale if in not the man doing the telling.

"Lilith was his first wife, in essence, she was the first woman, predating Eve." Leland continued. "Unfortunately, Lilith demanded to be treated as Adam’s equal and when she was refused, she left Adam and the Garden."

"What happened to her?" Lilith asked fascinated about the history of her namesake. 

"Well they say she and Lucifer became lovers where she spawned a race of demons. When Adam begged God to return her, she was visited by two angels who told her to return but she refused and in punishment, they destroyed her children, a hundred a day. Can you imagine the pain she must have endured?" Leland looked at Lilith as if she knew the answer.

 "It must have been terrible." Lilith remarked, still feeling uncomfortable when his eyes met hers.

"It was but Lilith was a powerful woman and in abstaining, in being true to herself she achieved immortality the way Adam could never even dream off. She became a force unto herself and while her children may have died because of Adam, she ensured his children would never sleep soundly again."

Lilith shuddered. "She was evil." 

"No," Leland shook his head. "She was not evil, just angry. She had a right to live as she wished and she was not afraid of using her power. You must never be afraid of power Lilith, you must embrace it, allow to become a part of your fabric."

"I’m not afraid of power." Lilith found herself saying.  

"I sensed that about you," Leland stated as if he had intimate knowledge to her inner workings. "I think you are someone who knows all about power and how to wield it? Am I right?"

"Maybe." Lilith replied, wondering why he asked her that question so pointedly. Did he know something about her? Did he know about the one thing that she felt uncomfortable about revealing to anyone other than Josiah and Billy. "It depends on what kind of power you mean."

"There’s a smart girl," Leland grinned, his lips pulled back into a smile that seemed to be for the purpose of disarmament. "You know how to ask a good question."

"I’m not a child," Lilith returned, disliking the use of the word term. In two days, she would be sixteen years old and as far as she was concerned, a woman.  

"Of course not," Leland quickly corrected himself. "I should have known better than to refer you as such but when you’re as old as I am, you tend to forget things like that."

"I have to be going now," Lilith said deciding she had enough of this conversation especially when her uneasiness did not abate even though they had exchanged words. She resumed making her journey towards the jailhouse once again.

"Tell me, do you know anything about magic?"

Lilith froze in her tracks and turned around slowly. For a moment, she thought she had heard incorrectly and prayed that this was the case. Her magic was a closely guarded secret that only Josiah and Billy were aware of. Josiah had explained once that it was something people would not understand and adhering to his wisdom, she had obeyed, keeping her talents a secret from everyone, including her mother. As she grew older and learnt about the trials at Salem where witches were burnt at the stake, she realised that Josiah’s warning had more sinister implications. For a time, Lilith had almost given up practising all together until realising what she was able to do could not be contain and required mastering to control. The extent of her power surprised her and frightened her all at once and though Billy sometimes watched her conjuring, she hid from him her practise of the darker arts because she was certain it would frighten him. 

"I read about it in stories." Lilith said gingerly, not about to give away more than was necessary. If he were just toying with her, she would let nothing slip inadvertently to allow him more power over her.

"That’s not what I mean." Leland responded, his eyes fixing on her like a hawk. "I mean real magic, the power that lies between the mists. The knowledge of the old ways where the laws of nature are not as immutable as science would have you believe. You have the sight and you have the knowing of the craft. I can tell."

"I don't know anything." Lilith declared, starting to become frightened.

 "Would it help you to know that you are not alone? That there are people who believe what you have is a gift to be treasured not squandered by being kept in the shadows. There are too few of us left Lilith, the age is dying and so is the craft. Soon we will disappear and that wonder will die with us." She muttered, trying not to be swayed by his words but could feel a part of herself responding to what he was saying. She did not want to hide what she was and the idea that there were others who shared what she learnt, who perhaps knew even more than she did, tantalized her.

"What do you want from me?" She finally asked.  

Leland knew that he was reaching her on some level, despite her natural fear. The girl had been taught to submerge her knowledge and her abilities, exposure was a terrifying aspect but somehow he had to breach all that, he had to show her that he could be trusted. He would need her trust if Aradia was to be born into this world again. "Just to show you that you are not alone, that we would like to show you that you are apart of a rich tradition."

Lilith wrestled with her thoughts for a few seconds, trying to decide whether or not he was what he claimed to be. There were so many questions in her head, questions she had believed no one could answer, not even Josiah who seemed to know so much. She had reached the limits of what the grimoire could teach her and she knew it. However, if this stranger was telling her the truth, it could mean a whole new world of understanding. All she had to do was take a chance on it. What did Ezra Standish say that the highest stakes were usually the gamble worth taking?  

"How?" She asked, making her mind up with the utterance of that one word. 

Leland smiled but just enough so that the girl would think it was pleasure at her acceptance of his offer and not at his triumph in winning her over. "By showing you your destiny."

* * *

"JD, who is that?" Josiah Sanchez asked when he peered out the window of the jailhouse and caught sight of Lilith speaking to a man he did not recognise. It appeared as if his stepdaughter was on her way to see him at the jailhouse when the stranger had captured her attention and engaged her in conversation.

JD raised his eyes from the checkerboard where they had been currently engaged in a game and lifted himself from his chair high enough to peer through the window and catch a glimpse of the man Josiah had interrupted their play in order to observe. "I'm not sure Josiah," JD remarked after a second. "I know he blew into town last week. He's foreigner, English I think." 

"Seems to be pretty interested in Lilith." Josiah rumbled in disapproval and did not think well of older men who simply came up and introduced themselves to young teenage girls.

"He's probably asking her for directions or something." JD remarked lowering himself into his chair once more.

"This isn't that big a town." Josiah retorted.

JD suppressed a smile and then added, "Josiah, she's growing up. There's nothing you can do about that."

Josiah faced JD and stared at him with a frown. "What do you know?" he grumbled but knew JD was right. He could not help being protective. While he did not have anything to do with Lilith's existence biologically and his presence in her life had come late, he still felt like her father and he had played the role for the last seven years. "You still got years with your kids." 

JD sighed, knowing they would get nowhere with their game until this issue was resolved. "Josiah, I doubt she will be leaving any time soon. I mean her entire life is here, everything she knows. Why would she leave?" 

"You did." He pointed out. 

"That's different." JD returned, unfazed by the counter point. "I had nothing. My mother was gone and the house we lived in was following her. I was on my own and I made a choice. It was here." 

"I'm sorry JD," Josiah responded. "I know it's strange but these last few weeks, I've become afraid. I know she's only sixteen and there's so much growing up left for her to do but I feel like she's slipping away from me and I'm going to miss her being gone. I'll miss all the little things that never meant so much until now, like hearing her and Audrey arguing about something, hearing her scribbling in her room or watching her and Billy go off together, I'll miss all that and I know once its gone, its forever. I won't get back those years." 

"But there will be new years, Josiah." JD smiled, understanding his worries completely because he thought the same sometimes about Adam and Annette. "You've guided her through one part of her life and now you'll just have to be there for the next. Alex told me something once and I guess for girl anyway, there's got to be a little truth in that, sometimes the only man a girl can really have faith in is their father. I think she'll always need you especially when she thinks she doesn't."

Josiah looked at JD with a smile, "when did you get so wise?"

"Well," JD grinned. "I grew up too."

* * *

"So who are these people?" Billy Travis questioned Lilith as they walked through the woods to the location Leland had given her as a meeting place for others of her kind.

"They're a coven." Lilith answered wishing she had gone alone as they made their way through the woods surrounding the Parisi place. Leland had declared that Mr Parisi, a settler that had arrived in Four Corners about six months ago, had allowed the coven the use of a clearing on his property. Since witchcraft was still viewed with animosity and suspicion by most, Parisi, who was a believer as Lilith had come to learn, preferred the gatherings be conducted some distance away from his home so that he could deny any knowledge if they were discovered.  

"A real witches coven?" Billy asked dubiously, not liking this one bit because Lilith had so little information and his nose for trouble said this did not feel right. Chris always said to follow one's gut instincts and right now his instincts told them that they were in real trouble. Unfortunately, he doubted he could convince Lilith to abandon this plan to meet them tonight. For as long as he had known her, Lilith had been mesmerized by the power of witchcraft. While she continued to learn from the Grimoire in her possession, she did not test herself fully because she feared her lack of guidance by those who knew the craft intimately might cause her to harm those she loved. Billy knew there was something at the heart of that fear she did not reveal to anyone even though he was certain Josiah knew what it was. Thus because of this fear, she had always held back and now that she was presented with the possibility of people who knew more than she, there was no stopping her.

"Yeah, the Order of Aradia, they call it." She explained as she continued into the darkness, eager to reach Leland and the others. She and Billy had sneaked out of their homes in order to make this trip because Lilith was not foolish enough to meet strangers at this hour of the night without at least having an escort. 

"Lily, this is a bad idea." 

Lilith paused and stared at him. "I know." She said with a sigh. "But Mr Leland was right, I'll never know my potential if I don't at least try." 

"And he's right there," Billy agreed. "But there's something strange about all this."

"That's why you won't show yourself and just watch what we're doing. If something does go wrong you can go get help."

"I won't leave you." He returned her gaze, astonished she could even make such a request. 

"If I'm in trouble, you better." She looked at him. "I didn't ask you to come with me so you'd get yourself killed too."

 "Nice to know that I'm appreciated." He remarked sarcastically.

"You know what I mean." She retorted. "I want you to come with me in case something goes wrong."  

"Then why go at all?" He asked. "Lily I don't wan to see you hurt."

Lilith saw the real concern in his eyes and said softly, " I know that Billy." She took a deep breath and looked up at the stars above, trying to find the words to make him understand why this was so important to her. "I love magic Billy, I always have. That and writing, it makes me what I am but the truth is, I've gone as far as I can go with magic and unless I get some answers, I'll never get any further. I'll never know what I'm capable of. I need to know Billy and maybe these people can show me. All I know is I've got to try."

Billy did understand. She was his best friend in the world and perhaps even more. He knew her better than anyone else and was grateful to the marvels she had shown him but he could not help deny that aspect of Lilith also frightened him. Things with too much power often did and while he never mentioned it, Billy suspected that her true potential might become more than even Lilith could cope with if she were to allow it to become unleashed. The gathering with this mysterious coven worried Billy a great deal because it might succeed in doing just that. Worst of all, they had come here without anyone's knowledge and that was a matter of great concern to Billy indeed.

"Okay," he said with a sigh. "I'll stay out of sight and if anything goes wrong, I'll go for help." 

"Thank you Billy," she smiled and leaned over to kiss him gently on the cheek.  

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as her lips touched his skin and it felt as if his face was on fire at her touch. He knew she felt something too because when she pulled back, she seemed surprised by how it felt and took a step back from him as if being near him might resurface the feeling again. She swallowed thickly and Billy felt his heart racing just looking at her. It was the first time they'd ever kissed and he wished it wasn't under such circumstances. Billy wanted to say something about what had happened but could not find the words and when Lilith turned around and started walking again, the moment was lost.

They continued walking the darkness for a short time until Billy began to hear the sounds of chanting in the dark. The litany of words being spoken in unison immediately sent a shiver down his spine even though he had no idea what it meant. There were old words, steeped in a language he did not understand and he glanced at Lilith, neither did she but the expression of excitement on her face was unmistakable.

"This is it Billy," she turned to him. "There really is a coven." 

Billy did not doubt that but he still did not like it. "Let's just see what they're doing." 

The duo inched closer to the clearing from where they could see a campfire burning, careful to ensure that they were hidden behind the bushes when they spied upon what was taking place within the illuminated circle of fire. Billy's eyes widened and Lilith's breath caught when they saw more than a dozen people forming a ring of flesh around the flames, dressed in dark robes and chanting words that sounded eerie the more they heard it. At the head of the gathering was a figure clad in red and he was reading verses from a large, leather bound book which did not look too dissimilar from the grimoire in Lilith's possession. If Billy had been worried before, this made his fear escalate to new heights. The whole scene not only reeked of danger but a word he had never associated with magic until now, evil.

"Lily please don't go out there." He stared at her.

"Billy I have to go." She rolled her eyes in exasperation because they had already discussed this.  

"Lily, I got a real bad feeling about this." He declared. "I really do." 

"Then you have to stay here and make sure I'll get help if you're right." She responded and gave him little time to say anything else when she moved out of the bushes, leaving him concealed but exposing herself to the coven that was waiting for her arrival.

"Lilith!" He hissed at her but it was too late. She was already gone.

* * *

Lilith forced away her fear when her arrival sparked silence as the chanting stopped right away. The hooded figures stared at her in something akin to reverence and awe as she made her way to Leland who was the only person at the gathering she knew. Swallowing thickly, she wondered what incantation they were invoking under the light of the full moon. Leland was standing in a circle of red composed of some kind of powdery substance. His robes though red were also different by the embroidered sigil of a bird on the breast. Their chanting did not pause for long because as she joined their number, they began chanting something else and this time Lilith understood perfectly because it was just one word they were saying, over and over again.  

_Aradia_ _. Aradia Aradia._

"Lilith," Leland stepped out of his circle and came to meet her. "I am glad you came." 

Even though he still made her uneasy, Lilith felt comforted to see someone she knew. "What's going on here Mr Leland?" She asked nervously. 

"We are preparing the way for Aradia." He said with a smile. There was no reason to lie to her, she had a right to know the power she was going to be vessel to less than a day from now. 

"Aradia?" She asked, never hearing the reference before.

"Aradia is the daughter of Diana, the Goddess of the Moon." He answered, his eyes gazing reverently at the full moon in the sky, aglow with silvery illumination. When he lowered his gaze once more, he glanced at of the people behind her briefly before continuing his narration. "Diana is the goddess who gave us witchcraft. She gave us Aradia so that we may learn all there is about witchcraft. Aradia was her gift to us and the Messiah of all witches, as told in the Gospel." 

"And she is coming again?" Lilith asked, feeling something knot in her stomach at the mention of this story and suddenly she was very glad for Billy's presence in the woods, watching her.  

"Yes," Leland nodded. "Her coming has been ordained for as long as her legend has lived and tomorrow night she will walk among us again."

"Tomorrow night is my birthday." Lilith stated, her brows wrinkling into confusion.  

"I know." Leland smiled and nodded. 

A small gasp escaped her when she realised what her part in this awakening of Aradia would entail and she spun around terrified, ready to run when she found that another robed figure was already prepared for her flight. She had just enough time to scream before the folded piece of cloth was pressed to her face. 

From where he was Billy Travis watched the unfolding scene with horror. His first instinct was to run out into the clearing and help her but he forced himself to remain calm as he saw Lilith become limp in the grip of the man she called Leland, the effects of the drugged cloth working swiftly on her. Heart pounding inside his chest and filled with agony, Billy knew that there was only one thing to do; run.

Run as fast as he could and get her help before it was too late.

* * *

By the time Josiah and the some of the seven returned to the place where the order had held their nightly gathering, it was too late. There was no sign of the cultists or Lilith anywhere. The only evidence of their presence in the clearing was the cooling remnants of ashes where their bonfire had been and the residue of powder left over from that strange circle Leland had stood in. Billy had ran all the way to Sanchez home in order to sound the alarm and within minutes, JD, Nathan, Ezra and Chris were ready to ride. However, for all their efforts, it appeared that Lilith's kidnappers were better planned then they were and the lawmen found themselves standing in a clearing that gave little clue to where the young woman was taken.

"I shouldn't have left her!" Billy swore angrily. "I should have found out where they were taking her." 

"You did the right thing Billy," Chris said gently to his stepson, aware of how close the two were and knew that this would be taking its toll on Billy in guilt. "There's not telling if you could have stopped what happened if you had not left. I can't even say that they wouldn't have taken you with them." 

"Why were you two out here at this time of night anyway?" JD stared at the young man.  

Billy saw Josiah looked at him sharply and Billy dropped his gaze, unable to meet anyone of them in the eye because he could not betray Lilith's secret. "I don't know. She said that she had to meet him but not why. "I couldn't hear what he said to her just before he grabbed her. She was a little nervous, that's why she had me come with her, to make sure I could get help if anything went wrong." 

"Look its not important why he took her," Josiah spoke up, taking the pressure off Billy because the boy had told him the truth earlier. "The fact is they did and where she could be right now." 

"Josiah's right." Chris nodded. "Nathan and Ezra has gone to see Parisi." He told JD. "This was his land, he might have some idea who those people are." 

"We need Vin." Josiah replied. "We need to track them. That many people can just disappear so quickly without leaving some kind of a trail."

Chris was about to answer when they became aware of two horses riding towards them and saw it to be Nathan and Ezra returning from their interview with Parisi. The familiar shape of Ezra's hat and Nathan's oversized horse gave them away in the darkness. 

"Mr Parisi and his family appear to be away at this time." Ezra declared when he reacted them after dismounting. "There was no one there Josiah, I am sorry." 

"Either he doesn't know someone is using his place or he cleared out before we could get to him," Nathan speculated.

"It could be either one." Josiah sighed heavily, trying to hide his worry for his stepdaughter. He wished he could tell the others what it was Lilith was actually doing here but he had no idea how they would react to such knowledge. Although this had transpired through no fault of his own, Josiah wondered if perhaps he could have tried a little harder to help her with her understanding of magic. It was such an unknown and he lingered between wanting to help her and being a little afraid of it. However, what happened tonight was proof of his failure to support her in this most important aspect of herself. "She could be anywhere." 

"Josiah," Nathan put his hand on the big man's shoulder. "We'll find her." 

Josiah wished he could be as certain, when it came to Lilith and magic, he couldn't be sure of anything. 

* * *

Her head hurt.  

She woke up in darkness and tried to lift her head but succeeded in knocking it against a hard wooden surface. Uttering a small cry of pain, the sound disappeared into the gag that was in her mouth. Her head still felt woozy and when she opened her eyes, she saw cracks of light peering through the wooden obstruction before her. From the way she was unable to remain steady for too long, lying on her side, Lilith came to the conclusion that they were moving. Pushing her way forward, she peered through the spaces and saw that she was on the back of a wagon, travelling through a well-taken track. She rested her head down once more and studied the crate she had been sealed and tried to move her feet. Like the hands bound behind her back, her legs were as equally hindered.  

It was her birthday today.

Lilith swallowed hard, trying to think of all the things her sixteenth birthday should have been and was not thanks to the situation she was in and felt tears glistening in her eyes. She had been so foolish and now she was in dire trouble. She listened closely and heard voice talking, they were a few of them. Leland's voice emanated from the front of the wagon and Lilith felt her heard freeze.

"Are you sure this place is safe?" Leland asked suspiciously. "We need to be out in the open to perform the ceremony."

"There's some woods near Baker's pass that isn't used as a trail." Someone answered him. "We should be fee to conduct the ceremony without interruption."

She had to tell the others where she was! She had to do it before the sun went down and she had no idea how long she had been asleep. It was daylight out there but that gave her no indication how long it would be until sunset. Lilith told herself not to panic and took a deep breath, coming to the realization that she needed to tell Josiah where she was because if she did not, she would cease to exist after tonight. Lilith King would disappear and Aradia would have her body instead. Closing her eyes, she calmed herself and concentrated. What she was about to do would take all her energy to accomplish but she had no other choice, she had to get help. She could not rely on Josiah finding her in time.

She had to make a sending. 

Focusing hard, she began muttering softly the incantations needed for the spell to work.  

 _"By the light of the moon, by the power of Goddess, I call to thee across the mists, I reached thee across the dark, across the vale of time and space, hear my message, hear my call to thee Josiah, hear your daughter in her hour or need."_  

Her mind began to fog as the power inside of her broke fee through the mire of her fear and started bubbling freely. Her head began to spin and in the blur of imagery that swept past her inner eyes, she saw the land streaking past her, cornfields and untamed desert, moving quickly toward the town of Four Corners. She saw its building sweep past her as she entered the town limits and suddenly, Josiah was there with her mother. Audrey was crying in fear and Josiah was comforting her. Lilith could not be certain of the words just the action. She could not pay too much attention however, it was one thing for the sending to find him, it was entirely another for him to hear her call.

 _"Goddess open the mind of your daughter's guardian, show to him the answer to her salvation. Show to him the place of her desecration show him!"_  

It felt as if her soul has suddenly escaped her body for she felt all her energy escaped her in one final burst of effort. There was a shattering pain in her mind and if she had been capable, she would have screamed but as the sending flowed from her thoughts to its destination, the black that came with such an overwhelming use expenditure of power overcame her. She sunk into it dark depths, unconscious to all and praying desperately in that last instant of awareness that Josiah had heard her. 

* * *

Josiah was about to mount his horse when suddenly, something with the force of a sledgehammer, impacted inside his skull and with a loud groan, to the horror and astonishment of his friends and his wife, the big man collapsed.

* * *

Josiah woke up with a start. 

"Josiah," Audrey quickly rushed to his side and threw her arms around her husband's neck. "Oh thank the Lord you're alright." 

Josiah felt his head swim for a moment, trying to understand what had happened. He was in his bed at home and outside, the sun had set behind the horizon to escape the stars chasing him. The room was slowly starting to cease its frantic spinning as he felt Audrey's arms around him, holding him close as she wept her relief at his awakening. What had happened to him? The last thing he seemed to remember was climbing on his horse. 

"What happened?" He managed to ask his voice but a croak following his slumber.  

"You passed out." Audrey exclaimed. "You were about to ride away and then you just crumbled!"  

"Crumbled?" Josiah looked at her in astonishment and disbelief until suddenly, he remembered that there was pain and a white blinding light that had detonated inside his mind. Words had slammed against every corner of his thoughts, overloading his senses with information that it was almost impossible to process. Words of great meaning! Word about....

"Lilith!" He burst out.  

"They haven't found her yet." Audrey answered tearfully, praying that fate would not be so cruel to take both her child and her husband in one day.

"I know where she is." He pulled her arm away from his. "I don't know its possible but I know where she is!"  

Josiah did not waste time trying to explain it to her, especially when he could do nothing to enlighten her himself. Somehow, Lilith had sent him a message and he had to act now before it was too late.

 

* * *

When Lilith came to the moon was high in the night sky.

Her heart started pounding at the sight of it in the sky especially when two members of the coven had removed her from the crate they had kept her in for the journey here. She looked down at herself and found she was no longer wearing her clothes and she flushed in embarrassment at the realization that someone had undressed her. Arms lifted her out of the crate and started dragging her away from the crate. As her feet were forced into working, Lilith regained her bearings and saw what awaited her at the venue of the ceremony. Once again, she saw the same circle formed in the dirt and the ring of hooded figures chanting ancient words. Leland stood in the center of all this, exulting in his role as high priest.

Upon Lilith's appearance, he turned his attention to her and smiled. "I guess it is time for you to meet your destiny."  

Where was Josiah? Lilith thought frantically as she struggled in the grips of the two men dragging her to the circle where she was certain her death was waiting. "You better let me go!" She cried out with terrified impotence. "I've got family who will never stop looking for me?"

Leland started to laugh. "You mean like him?"  

He pointed to the bundle on the ground she had not seen in the darkness. Lilith stared in mesmerized horror as she saw Leland walking over to the man who was tied up on the ground, blood flowing from the bruise on his head. However, Lilith did not notice the bruise as much as she did the wet patch above his stomach that looked decidedly like blood as it glistened under the moonlight. Lilith had never seen her stepfather so weak or for that matter, so small. It flashed in her mind with no doubt at all that he would die if he did not reach a doctor soon.  

"We captured him an hour ago." Leland gloated as he paused a safe distance away from Josiah who could not speak thanks to the gag in his mouth. The former preacher's eyes met Lilith's and tried to convey his sorrows for failing her so utterly.  

"You let him go!" Lilith shouted in fury. "He's done nothing to you!"  

"I'm sorry," Leland shook his head and gestured to one of his acolytes. "We kept him alive for your benefit, so that you would see that fighting this was pointless."

"Please don't hurt him," she begged as she was forced into the circle. "I'll do anything you say, just let him go." She pleaded, tears running down her cheeks. "He's my father."

"Soon I'll be that to you," Leland responded. "And more. Kill him." He ordered.

"NO!!!!!" Lilith screamed as she saw an acolyte move towards Josiah with a dagger, preparing to plunge it into the former preacher's back. She could stand if it was her life that was lost but not Josiah's. He had been her friend and her father, her teacher and the one person who always understood and could guide her through her fear. To lose him was unimaginable. She couldn't and as something inside her snapped, Lilth decided she wouldn't.

They wanted magic? Fine, then. They were going to get it.

In a burst of strength she knew not how she possessed, Lilith broke free of her captors and forced them out of the circle because they could have no part in what she was about to do. Fury was driving her and as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, her lips began moving and suddenly, everyone stopped to see what she was doing because the words coming from her was not the invocation or the ritual that they had been expecting. It was something else entirely. 

_"If I command the moon, it will come down;_

_And if I wish to withhold the day, night will linger over my head_

_And again; if I wish to embark on the sea, I need no ship,_

_And I wish to fly through the air, I am free from my weight._

_I call to thee, Goddess of the Three,_

_Tisiphone_ _, Alecto and Magaera come to me,_

_Take your daughter's form, become me_

_I call upon thee as a daughter of the moon_

_Avenge, avenge, avenge me!"_

Her speech was punctuated by a crack of thunder and suddenly a wind blew from nowhere, swirling around them. Dirt, leaves and fallen twigs became captured in a maelstrom of gale force winds, billowing cloaks swept past the figures trying to contain their fear and remain on their feet. Josiah remained on the ground, watching as Lilith turned her eyes on Leland, even the whites of her eyes had turned black as she approached him. She did not walk, she glided over the ground, her blond hair forming a crown of gold around her as she neared the man who had been the cause of all this, who had tricked her by preying upon her insecurities. He was going to pay, not only for that but also for daring to harm one of the most treasured people in her life.  

"Diana help me!" Leland shouted as he scrambled away.

_"Diana? We were before Diana was even conceived by the Greeks, mortal. We have always been, since there were fates to be recorded. What you are means nothing to us, she who has called us demands vengeance and as it is our favor to daughters of the moon, we will avenge. We are the Hecate, the Bacchae or if it is easier for your understanding, the Furies."_

Josiah saw Lilith at least he thought it was Lilith raise her hands and another clap of thunder followed before Leland was flying through the air, carried by winds screaming. His followers had scattered by now, what they had seen as the girl spoke in that voice that was not quite her own, but that of something so old and predating history they could not even imagine, convinced them they had no wish to incur her wrath. Leland screamed as he sailed across the air, his red robes flowing in the wind. He landed headfirst into the large bonfire, flaying his hands wildly as his body slammed into the flames. The fire seemed to grow until its heat was such that Josiah could feel it against his cheek.

The preacher watched Leland consumed in the flames which seemed to have grown somewhat, until it was almost an inferno contained in one place, his screams tearing through the night as his robes encased his body in fire. Lilith continued to watch, her face glowing with power and her eyes still black as she watched Leland's slow and torturous death. A smile curled the corner of her lips and Josiah knew that whomever this was before him, it was not his Lilith. Struggling as best he could, he managed to wrap his hand around the dagger that would have killed him and cut the ropes that kept him bound. Once his hands were free, he tore the gag from his mouth.

"Lilith!" Josiah called out as soon as he was free, in hopes of reaching her. 

His voice sliced through her and she turned to him slowly, staring at first in confusion at who he was.

"Lilith it's me," Josiah tried again. "You've done what you've had to do. You saved us, now its time to let them go. You have been avenged!" 

_"The mortal is correct. The daughter has been avenged."_

_"Much power in this one. She follows the old ways, a child of the Goddess."_

_"A daughter of the moon."_

Even though the words came from Lilith, Josiah could swear he heard three different voices. They were unearthly and sounded like something that might have been carried on the wind. He knew who the Furies were, at least he think he did, and what he knew told him, he did not wish for them to inhabit Lilith's body any longer then necessary.

"Let her go! You've done what she asked." Josiah shouted boldly.

_"We never truly leave this one, mortal. She carries us with her. She is a daughter of the moon and we will watch on her, always for when she needs us again."_

As Josiah watch them disappear from Lilith's face, he prayed that she never would.

* * *

 

When Chris and the others found Josiah and Lilith a short time later as per Audrey's instructions, the big man was holding his unconscious daughter in his arms. For a minute the gunslinger thought that the worst had happened, that perhaps Leland had killed Lilith, he had certainly hurt Josiah enough. However, what was left of the cult leader was presently roasting in the bonfire in the middle of the clearing, the stench of his burning flesh was so thick that the men present had difficult tolerating it for too long. They had seen the other members of the order fleeing into the night before arriving at the clearing but had been more concerned with finding Josiah and Lilith to go after them.

"What the hell happened here Josiah?" Chris asked as he saw all evidence of a windstorm, in the surrounding area, except there had been none to their recollection.

 Lilith was sleeping in his arms, the way she had done since she was a little girl. Josiah brushed her hair gently as he held her, refusing to let go of her even though he was wounded badly. She was exhausted after what she had done and would probably sleep for some time. Just as well, she had an eventful birthday indeed. Josiah was still a little shaky and for a few seconds after the question was asked of him, did not answer.  

Josiah met Chris gaze and looked past the gunslinger at the fire burning behind him and the grisly remains of Charles Leland still turning slowly into ashes. "They got more than the bargained for." He said simply. "They got a  _hell_  of a lot more than they bargained for."

And that was all he would say on the matter, ever.

 


	6. Without Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is a death FIc

 

The roof felt cold even though JD had ensured that was a fire burning briskly in the fireplace. He supposed it really did not matter that in actuality it was quite warm since the feeling was in his mind and not anything he was feeling against the skin. He entered the room slowly, awash with memories of another time when he had been force to make a similar entrance like this and the experience had made him wish that he would never have to endure this again. People said that this was a part of life, the cycle of growth and regeneration. All things that were born were also required to die, JD understood that as being all well and good except in this instance, he wished it were not so. In fact, if there were any way to keep it from happening, he would have ridden through hell to ensure that it did not.

Not when it was Casey who he was going to lose.

It had begun almost three years ago and for the life of him, JD wished every night even until this final moment that he knew how she had contracted such a deadly ailment. Both Alex and Nathan had assured him earnestly that nothing could have been done to circumvent the onslaught of the deadly cancer that began eating away at Casey in silence. The science to prevent the disease or to combat it did not exist and all they could do was watch her as little by little, she withered away before their eyes. Since the original diagnosis, JD had lived in denial, certain that she would not die, simply because he could not imagine life without her. He had loved her since he had been old enough to know what the word really meant. JD went through the motions, assuring his children that the number of days their mother took to her sick bed was nothing to worry about.  

He maintained his optimism until the days came when the pain was so terrible that not even the morphine Alex prescribed in large doses seemed to make any difference and he could hear the groans of pain Casey tried desperately to hide from the children. The morphine drove her into a state of constant delirium and JD could do nothing but watch as the girl he felt in love with, the woman who had borne his children, slowly disintegrate before his eyes. Less than a week ago, the morphine’s effect was more or less subjugated by the ferociousness of the cancer’s progression and for a time, though in great pain, she was herself again. The pain had reached a crescendo and now it was gone into some far away place to take a bird’s eye view of the damage it had left in its wake. 

"JD." She stared at him as he sat on the corner of the bed where Adam and Nettie had been conceived, trying not to let the last memory she took with her out of this world was he weeping. "Where are the children?" 

"Nettie and Adam are at outside." JD whispered softly, trying not to notice the pasty color of her skin, the darkness under her eyes and the hollowness of her cheeks. "Do you want to see them?"

"No," she shook her head, shedding the tears he would not. "I don’t want them to see me like this."

"They wouldn’t care." He answered, voice threatening to break at any moment. Sliding his fingers into hers, he held on tight, hoping against hope that perhaps if he willed it enough, she would not go. "You’re their ma, you’ll always look beautiful to them."

 "I don’t want them to remember me this way." She swallowed. "When my mother died, I couldn’t see her any different other than the way she looked on her death bed, I don’t want that for Nettie and Adam. Please, don’t let them see me, not after either." More tears rolled down her cheeks and at that moment if someone had asked him, he would have gladly have died with her. "Promise me JD."

"I promise." He nodded, jaw clenching in an effort to remain strong and not completely break down in front of her. He thought of Annette and Adam outside, imagined how they would go on without her. How could he even think of that when he did not know how to be without her? She had been apart of his life since his arrival in Four Corners, how could he be expected to continue it without her? So many questions filled his mind and amidst all this was this relentless force that was dragging him towards the pit where she would be gone. She would become something in his memories, not real, just tangible enough to plague him with her absence but too vague to touch.

"Please Casey," he finally found himself reaching the last tether of desperation. "Please don’t leave me. I can’t do this alone!"

"You’re not alone," she said gently in that voice that always claimed to know more than he did and in this instance she was right. "You have Nettie and Adam. You’ll need them as much as they need you and we have friends who are more like family than anything else so you won’t be alone JD. Besides," her pale lips curled into a smile. "You’re a part of the seven, remember."

He did remember and still that gave him little comfort. "Casey, I can’t be without you. I don’t know how."

"You’ll learn," she whispered. "You always learn. This will be no different than the others."

JD could not believe that, not when he saw her like this. All he could see right now was that the life he had known for the last decade or more was drawing to an end. The happiness he shared with Casey, the smile on her face when she presented him with his children, not to mention the day of their wedding. They were as ingrained into his memory as she was and he just knew that once she was gone from his life, those memories would never feel the same again. In fact, once she was gone, nothing would ever be as it was and JD could not face the change.

"I love you Casey," he clutched her hand tighter and could feel the coolness of her skin. "I always will." It was all he could manage because he was on the threshold of complete collapse.

"I love you JD," she answered in turn, her eyes fixed on his face, as if she wanted to burn his face into her mind before she left him. "Take care of my babies and of yourself. You have to live for them JD, no matter what happens, you have to go on for them."

He nodded and stared at her face, he watched as she smiled in satisfaction and belief in his promise, at having some measure of peace in the face of so much anguish staring back at her through his eyes. She closed her eyes to rest but then her breathing became shallower and shallower and he was tempted to run and get Alex but he did not dare leave, terrified that Casey might slip away while his back was turned. Still wearing that little smile that had stolen across her still lovely but pale features, she took small breaths until finally the gentle rise of her chest stopped all together and without a sound, she was gone from this world.

JD did not know how long he sat at her side after that, holding her hand, staring at her face. In the here and now, she was still his wife, his Casey. If he called the others, if they took her out of this room as they rightly should, she would not be that any more. She would become just another body, no different that so many they had buried in the past. He brushed a strand of dark hair out of her face, pulled the covers over her so that she would remain warm because the cold in her limbs demanded no less. He did not weep but continue to sit there by her side, like the dog that waited for the return of a master who had gone. Only he knew Casey would not be coming back.

After what seemed like hours, he heard the doorknob twist, the familiar sound of the metal mechanism penetrating to the blinding despair that had infected every part of his body like the cancer that had eaten Casey away, a bit at a time. The door creaked open and he heard footsteps. They were heavy so he knew it was not Alex. He did not move. He could not because he was content holding Casey’s hand in his hand he was not about to relinquish his hold of her yet. The footsteps approaching him paused a few feet away from him, probably in realization of what had taken place before resuming its journey towards him.

"JD." He felt a hand on his shoulder.

JD turned his head slowly, suffused by the unreality of the situation and found himself staring at Buck Wilmington. "She’s gone." He said simply.  

"I’m so sorry JD." Buck responded, his own features filled with grief. His eyes were red and though there were no tears, it was as good an admission as any. "She was a good woman." 

"The best." He swallowed and rose to his feet. "My kids still out there?" He asked once again, his voice neutral and calm.

"Alex put Nettie to bed but Adam’s still up." Buck answered softly. He wanted to take the boy in his arms and hug him because to Buck, even though JD was now a man with a family and sheriff of Four Corners, Buck still saw him that way. However, he had a feeling it would do little good. When Chris had lost Sarah, Buck had seen the same detachment in his eyes that he was now seeing in JD and he had not said the right thing back then either and was certainly not going to make the same mistake again by trying. 

JD absorbed the information and glanced at Casey once more. It was as if the spell where she had once been his wife and mother to his children had been broken and all the memories she had left behind became disjointed, like fragments of a dream that was fading with the coming of the dawn. Slowly, he pulled her fingers away from his and stood up slowly. "Let Nettie sleep," JD responded calmly. "I’ll tell her in the morning. I like her to have one more night where she thinks Casey is still here." 

"JD," Buck replied, feeling his heartbreak at the sight of that tremendous sorrow seeping into JD’s face. It would be simpler if he wept or sob at least then Buck would be able to do something, offer him comfort, tell him life goes on but this cold disconnection made Buck uneasy. "Casey will always be here." 

"Yeah," JD nodded. "I know that but not like before." 

Buck wanted to speak but JD did not give him the opportunity. Before the big man could say anything further, JD was already out the door. 

* * *

The funeral was held a day or two later.  

It was one of the largest funerals in recent times, with attendance made by almost all the inhabitants of Four Corners. Although the news of Casey’s demise was meant with shock and sorrow, no one was particularly surprise that the end had come. Casey’s illness had been with them for the last two years and some were rather surprised that she had endured as long as she had. The seven stayed close to JD, as the seven always did whenever times were tough among their number, although no occasion had ever been as painful or as tragic as this. Judge Travis and his wife Evie made the trip from Four Corners for the funeral as did Maude and Simon Doyle. The faces though welcomed hardly registered for JD. He watched them sweep past him in a blur, their offers of condolences blending into one large noise that had little meaning for him.

Though some had indicated that she ought to be buried in the town cemetery, JD would have none of that and so Casey was laid to rest in a patch of green at the spot of their favorite watering hole. It was the place he first realized that he was in love with her, the day they had stared into each other’s eyes and felt destiny in a perfect moment of clarity. Even though their lived together did not begin until some years later, JD considered that the defining moment in their relationship and thought it be fitting that she wait for him at that special place until he was ready to join her. Fortunately Josiah had taken care of most of the funeral arrangements so JD was spare that part of the ordeal. However, if truth were known, very little impacted upon him during those first few days. He moved through his life almost in a daze. 

He vaguely remembered that Josiah had conducted the service and that Buck had remained close at his side during that time, trying to make things easier but knowing that it was a futile gesture in the face of such overwhelming loss. Nettie spent a great deal of time with Alex, while Adam seemed happier in the company of his friends rather than his father. JD could not blame him. Their mother had been the impetus of their lives. What need had they of him really? How could he ever hope to take her place in their lives? Adam had taken his mother’s death stoically, possibly suspecting that this day would come since her illness had become severe enough to begin confine her in bed. Nettie was nine years old but she and Casey had been close and the absence was somehow deeper for her.

During the wake, he was suddenly gripped with a bout of claustrophobia and was driven out of his house. There was too much noise, too much advice that life would go on, too many words spoken about Casey that only served to remind him how much he had lost. After awhile it became too much for him and he fled the friends and the family in an effort to gain some equilibrium. His head was fairly spinning and though he knew that their intentions were good, he need solitude more than anything else at the moment. He had intended to go to her grave, to make his own farewell when suddenly he heard a familiar voice calling out after him. 

JD let out a soft groan because he had wanted to be alone and turned around to see Chris Larabee approaching him at a brisk pace. At least it wasn’t one of the town folk he consoled himself. He could not bear to hear them telling him that she was a fine woman that he should bring the children over for supper any time he liked. He had almost shot Mrs. O'Leary when she had the best taste to bring up the fact that she had an unmarried daughter before being ferried away by a furious Inez who looked like she might take a gun to the thoughtless woman. JD signed and supposed that if he was going to be found by anyone, it was best that it was Chris Larabee. Chris made his point quickly and was not prone to being overly sentimental. 

"JD." Chris announced himself with that simple remark.  

"Chris." JD said tautly. "You lost?"

"No," Chris shook his head. "Thought I could use some fresh air, saw you heading this way and figured you could use the company."

"I think I’ve had enough company for one day." JD retorted sarcastically and regretted it a moment later because he knew he was being rude and Chris was trying to help. 

"I can understand that." Chris replied with a little smile, understanding completely what JD was going through completely although he was not foolish enough to dispense any advice. Considering how he had behaved when he had lost Adam and Sarah, he was the last person to tell JD how to behave. In truth, Chris felt that JD had a right to his grief. He had been married to Casey for more than a decade. He had loved her for even longer then that. "Let’s keep walking," he suggested instead. "Give us a bit of lead before anyone who comes looking can find us." 

"I’m for that." JD agreed and the two men resumed their journey. They were almost near the grave where Casey Wells Dunne had been laid to rest when JD found that he could not face going there just yet. The pain was still too fresh and it was hard to come to terms with the wife he loved finding her end beneath cold dirt. Chris said nothing even though he noticed the grief in JD’s eyes. He had felt the same sorrow every time he braved a visit back to the spot where he had buried Sarah and Adam, even now. The years did not diminish the pain and only experience had made it tolerable to endure. It would be the same for JD with Casey but Chris did not need to tell the younger man that. JD had enough advice bombarding him today for Chris to bother with that piece of information because like all the others given him today, in the face of its loss, words seemed rather meaningless. 

Instead, he continued with JD to the watering hole and they sat down, admiring the serenity of the place, far away from the noises of the town and more importantly, the wake from which they had both fled. For a while, the two men sat in silence, listening to the sounds made by the wildlife that only seemed to emerge near water, taking in the sunshine as the day crept languidly by them. Chris did not prompt JD to talk because the last thing the younger man needed right now was to be told how to cope with his loss. He could appreciate why JD had left the house. When it had been his turn, Chris had done more than just leave his house, he had left his entire life. He sometimes wondered if he had taken the coward’s way out but chose not to delve too deeply into the question for it would lead him to places and answers he might not like.

"How could you stand it?" JD finally broke the silence between them with that question. "I look at my children and I see her. I look at the house we lived in and all I see is a house, she made it a home. How can I see my life without her in it? I don’t understand how I’m expected to go on when she’s not here." 

"I don’t know." Chris answered honestly. "I don’t know how you’re supposed to live with it, if ever you can." He certainly had not. When Sarah had gone, she had not only taken her son with her but everything they had created together. For him, it had been easier to turn his back and flee because there was nothing holding him back. For years after she died, he wandered, searching for the answers to the question JD was asking him now and finding no answer at all. He had hoped that perhaps the suffering would end at least, that a bullet would have mercy on him and end it all in a blast of gunfire. "I ran from my life JD because I couldn’t face going on without her." 

"I want to run." JD admitted readily. "I want to run so far away that I’ll never see anything that looks or reminds me of Casey. If I could do that maybe I’ll feel something other than this pain." 

"Running doesn’t make you feel better." Chris replied. "When I left everything behind, I thought it would make me forget but it didn’t. I thought I could drown myself in a bottle and that would do it but you can’t run JD because the one thing that reminds you most of her, that remembers every thing you ever felt for Casey; is your heart. You can’t get rid of that no matter how far you run or how much you try to hide." 

"I don’t want to hide," JD confessed. "I just don’t want to feel. Right now, that’s all there is. I ain’t got no feeling for anything else."

"I know." Chris said sympathetically. "I wish I could say something that makes all this easier for you JD but there isn’t any magical words that will make this go away. You lost your ma so you know what it’s like to lose someone who means everything to you. Right now, it’s too soon for words to make any difference to you JD even the ones that  _do_  make sense." 

"I want her back Chris," JD swallowed. "I want her back so much it kills me inside thinking of all the things we’re never going to do. We were supposed to watch the kids grow up together. How could she miss everything they’ll go through?" 

"JD she had no choice in the matter." Chris retorted, aware of Casey’s condition longer than he would like to think. Two years ago, he had seen the first signs of the illness and he had worried about it even though he had never brought it up and regretted that decision bitterly. At the end of the day, Chris had thought Casey deserving a right to her privacy and never mentioned what he had seen to JD but not even in his wildest imaginings did Chris envision that what was wrong with Casey could be anything as wholly terrible as cancer. "She got sick and it took her away from you a piece at a time. No one should have to suffer the disintegration she did."

"I tried to convince myself it would go away." JD met his gaze. "I kept doing all the chores, sending Addie and Nettie to school thinking to myself, Casey will do this when she gets some rest. In the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t going to be that way. I saw my ma, slowly wither away and the idea that it was happening to Casey was something I couldn’t face." 

"She left the best part of her with you JD," Chris reminded him, wishing he could comfort the younger man in some way but he was at a loss over such things. "She left you a son and daughter. All you have to do to know that she’s still with you is to look in their faces. She lives in them because of what you both created." 

"I can’t look at them because of that Chris," JD swallowed. "I see Adam and I see Casey, I see Nettie and I see Casey. They’re both hurting so bad and Buck is better at being there for them then I am. I’m not a good father Chris! Casey did all the work! All I ever did was play sheriff!"

"Don’t say that." Chris retorted. "You’ve just lost your wife, you’re entitled to be a little selfish in this. When you’re ready you’ll know what to say to your kids." 

JD nodded silently and faced from again, still feeling this ache eating away at him and hoped that Chris was right because, at the moment, he had no idea whether he would ever be ready for anything again.

* * *

He thought the days after her passing would be interminably slow and that the passage of time would stretched endless now that she was gone. However, time seemed to do the opposite and suddenly JD found the days hurtling by quickly even though for him, the pain of Casey’s loss did not abate to any acceptable degree. All around him life seemed to go on and he felt like he was trapped in a vacuum because he could not seem to do the same. Outwardly, he was the father that took care of his two children, ensuring they went to school and were raised the way well brought up children ought to be. He had promised Casey that he would be there for his children and strove to ensure that they wanted for nothing.

Despite his however, he could not help but notice something of a rift forming between himself and his children. It was not so much of a rift as it was distance. The closeness that had existed between himself, Nettie and Adam seemed to have gone and JD knew on some level this was his fault but he did not know what he had done to sever their close bonds. He had done exactly what he was supposed to do as their father and yet Adam and Nettie seemed to be drifting away. His son spent what little time he did at home scribbling stories in his room while Nettie was spending more and more time in Alex’s company. He could understand that of course, Nettie was just a child and she needed a female presence in her life, something JD could not provide in any shape of form.

Before JD knew what was happening, it was almost six months since Casey had passed away and his yearning for her did not fade and he wondered why people looked at him as if he should have moved on already. Even his friends, who supposedly understood what he was enduring, seemed to expect it of him and JD began to withdraw even from them. He found more and more reason to hide inside his jailhouse, throwing himself into his work and often spending more nights out of Four Corners than in it. When he wasn’t in town, he felt as if a part of him could forget the life he shared there with Casey and when he returned, it was as if a great weight had fallen on his shoulders and was threatening to drag him down into some dark depths.

He also started drinking.

First it was a drink to wash away the numbness and then it was a drink to keep the numbness away and then finally, it was a drink to remain numb forever. The progression was self-destructive and rapid once the lure of liquor as a means of forgetting his loss became stronger, the more he indulged himself in it. Very soon, he did not know a morning when he did not wake up hung over. The rest of his life began to bleed away and the details became harder and harder to remember. During such occasions, the drink provided welcome relief because in a space of hours, the details would not matter and he could slip once again into the bliss of drunken forgetfulness.

* * *

"Adam we got to do something." Nettie whispered to her brother within the confines of his room. 

Adam peered over the edge of the book he was writing on and stared at his sister impatiently. "Like what?" 

"Mommy would not let him drink like this!" Nettie declared, trying to sound grown up even though she felt terrible small and missed her mother still. However, lately, her thoughts seemed to be more focussed on the slow deterioration of their father. Before their mother had passed away, she had loved being with daddy and she was certain daddy loved being with them, but not any more. He was sullen and angry and all he seemed to do lately is to sit in his parlor when he got home from work and drink himself stupid. If it were not for Elsie Barker coming to cook and clean for them during the day, the two children would be completely on their own. 

"Mom’s gone Nettie." Adam said shortly. "If she wasn’t, pa wouldn’t be like this!" 

"Its like he hates us now Addie." She whined, her voice taking on that vulnerability Adam had not heard since she was very little. "He looks at usand I know he hates us." 

"He doesn’t hate us," Adam sighed and lowered his book so that he could join his sister who was sitting on his bed, knees curled under chin. Adam put his arm around her and held her close for a moment. "I don’t think he hates us Nettie, I think looking at us makes him sad."

"He gets mean when he drinks," she pointed out. "Do you notice?"  

"Yeah," Adam nodded somberly, "I notice." When JD was drunk, his behavior to his children bordered between surly and violent. Sometimes, Adam was certain JD wanted to strike when they spoke to him, his drunken moods had diminished him to that point. Yet when those occasions came upon their father, it would be followed by great sorrow and then he would just stagger out of the house unable to face them again. The children had told no one about this, not even Uncle Buck or Aunt Alex who would surely take action and cause more trouble in the Dunne household. 

"We got to do something." Annette retorted. "We got to do something before he hurts himself. I don’t want to lose daddy like mommy." 

"Alright," he said deciding that she was right, they had to save their father from this cycle of destruction before it reached a point of no return. "You promise me something?" He looked at his young sister, intent in his face as he made his point.

"What?" She nodded in confusion.  

"If you hear anything bad, I want you to run to Aunt Alex’s you hear me?" Adam replied. "I want you to go and don’t think about me until you get there, you hear?" 

"Yes," she answered, clearly frightened by the prospect. "You think he’ll hurt you Addie?"  

"Not intentionally," Adam responded. "But he’s drunk and he ain’t always in the best mood when he’s drunk." 

Both children had seen exactly how he had been during those periods to know that the possibility existed. "You promise me?" Adam asked again, not about to leave the room until he received an answer from his sister, no matter how frightening the notion might me.

"I promise." Annette swallowed. 

"Okay," Adam pushed the pair of glasses on his face higher on his nose and took a deep breath before climbing off the bed and going to the door. "Stay in here."

Adam shut the door behind him and knew that he would be obeyed. He continued out of the hallway into the parlor where his father was presently situated in his favorite wing chair before the fire, a half empty bottle of liquor sitting on the small table besides it. It was full when he had first set it down, Adam remembered. Bracing himself inwardly, Adam knew he had to do this. He was certainly not the man of the house to make such an intervention but he remembered the father he loved and who had loved him before his mother had died. Adam could not believe that person was completely gone, just submerged by grief and perpetuated by drink. 

"Pa." Adam announced himself once he reached JD. 

"What?" JD gave his son a sidelong glance, not at all happy to see him. "Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?" 

Adam stiffened seeing the edge in his father’s bloodshot eyes and wondered perhaps this was a bad idea and should be abandoned while he still could. "It ain’t our bed time yet."

"Your bed time is when I say it is, now GIT!" JD roared, not wishing to have this conversation with his son.  

"Do you hate us?" Adam asked, standing his ground despite his father’s ugly mood. 

"What?" JD blinked and stared at the boy. "What kind of question is that?" He demanded. "I’m your father and I’m here! I wouldn’t be here if I hated you! I’d been gone! Like your mother!" 

"My mother died," Adam hissed, anger giving him more courage then sense. "She did because she was sick and she didn’t want to go! You told us that remember? You used to say that all the time. You’re not sick but you’re drunk!"  

"Don’t you talk to me that way!" JD stood up from his chair and strode over to the boy. "I’m your father!"  

"You’re not my father!" Adam shouted back angrily, tears starting to form in his eyes. "My father would be like this! He wouldn’t need a drink to look at his children!"  

"SHUT UP!" JD snapped and swung before he knew he had even done it. Through the haze of liquor he heard a cry of pain and the sound of a window opening somewhere in the house. It came upon him in a moment of clarity as he blinked and saw his eleven-year-old son on the floor, staring at him with tears that came not only from the blow struck but from the fact that it was the father he loved who had delivered it. Adam clutched his cheek with one hand while the other reached for the glasses that had broken when they were struck off his face.

"Adam..." JD started to speak but could not find the words because there were no words to justify what he had done. None at all. 

It did not matter because Adam was on his feet in second, staring at him with a red bruise forming on his cheek. "You can hate us pa but you can’t make  _us_  hate you. Mom wouldn’t want that and I’m not going to hate you because of her."

With that, he ran out of the house, not letting JD a chance to say or do anything else. JD could only watch him go, still in astonishment at having learnt so acutely at that instant that Casey was not the only thing he had left to lose. 

* * *

He was awakened by a hand pulling off the floor where he had fallen asleep in a drunken stupor following the disgraceful incident with Adam, where the only thing he had thought to do in wake of his behavior was to drown its memory in drink.

"Get up, goddamn it!" He heard a loud voice booming in his ears, making him flinch as his legs struggled to support him as he was hoisted to his feet unceremoniously. 

"What?" JD demanded groggily as he was forced to stand and found himself staring into Buck Wilmington’s face. Not that he had much chance to get an answer because no sooner than he was on his feet, he was being dragged out of the parlor, down the hallway, to the front door. Buck was tall enough and strong enough to ensure that JD did not put up much resistance, not that he could any way, he was still to hung over to produce that much effort. Buck did not speak during this entire procedure not even when JD felt the burst of sunlight from the morning burn into his sensitive eyes and he groaned in pain. The only thing that Buck did do however was to throw him unceremoniously into the water trough in the front of the house. 

The cold water did more for waking him up then anything that had transpired so far and as JD felt the iciness swirl in around him, he regained a little more sense of clarity that his earlier awakening. Sputtering with fury as he emerged from the water, JD stumbled out of the trough, soaking wet and fully alert now. Climbing out of it, he wiped the water from his face and brushed his hair out of his eyes as he raised his gaze to Buck.

"What the hell did you do that for?" He glared at Buck who was staring at him with a storm cloud brewing on the older man’s face. It was an expression seemed out of place on the usually happy go lucky scoundrel.

"You’re lucky that’s all your getting." Buck hissed as he came towards JD and stared down at him like he was a spoilt child. "Vin wanted to come over here and beat the shit out of you. I’m not far from doing it myself and the only reason I ain’t done it yet is because we’ve been friends too long and I know you’re still hurting from losing Casey."

"Mind your business Buck," JD turned away, not wishing to discuss it. 

"I’m sorry I can’t." Buck halted his progress and pulled him around with such force JD had no choice but to face him again. "I thought if I left you long enough you might get some sense into you but its obvious that ain’t gonna happen. You want to get drunk, you want to bury yourself is so much misery, that’s up to you. Those of us who are your friends will let you rot if that’s what you want, but you do not take it out on a boy! Jesus JD, you dislocated his jaw!"  

"I didn’t mean it!" JD shouted, suddenly understanding that only that could bring Buck here with so much rage behind him. "I was drunk!" he said feebly. "I didn’t know what I was doing and he was saying things..." 

"That ain't no excuse!" Buck growled and grabbed him by the collar. "Just because you lost your wife does not give you the right to beat up on your son! He’s lost too JD and he’s lost more than just a wife. He’s lost his mother, the only home he ever knew and now by the looks of it, he’s lost his father too!"  

"Leave me alone!" JD pulled away, not wishing to hear this. He felt so ashamed he could barely think and the strength to fight Buck’s words would not come.

"I can’t leave you alone," Buck returned sharply. "I’ve been waiting for you to snap out of it, to remember that you have a son and a daughter who need you more than ever! I can’t afford to wait anymore! Until you pull yourself together Nettie and Adam will stay with Vin! Vin doesn’t want him anywhere near you until you see fit to be a father to them!" 

"They’re my children!" JD found his voice then. "You don’t have the right to take them from me!"

"Well that’s the most paternal feeling you’ve shown since Casey died!" Buck roared. "You think we want to do this? We don’t, we just can't sit by and let you go on this way! We can’t do it because we loved Casey almost as much as you do and it would just break her heart to see this, JD."  

"Fine!" JD glared at him. "TAKE THEM! I ain’t no good to em anyway!" JD wrenched himself free from Buck and returned to the house. "They’re better off without me." 

"Is that all you got to say?" Buck looked at him astonished, wondering who this stranger was in the place of the young man who had meant so much to him, whom he treated not only as a brother but sometimes as a son. "Don’t you give a damn?"

"You’re right ain’t ya?" JD turned on him. "They’re better of without me and I ain’t no father to them!" 

"JD!" Buck felt his patience splinter with that remark. "You know something? I never thought I’d say this but when Casey died, she took the best of you with her and without her, you’re nothing." 

"How would you know?" JD retorted. "You’ve never lost anyone!"  

"No I haven’t," Buck responded. "But you’re not the only husband whose ever lost a wife. Chris lost his but you can sure as hell bet that if his Adam had survived, he wouldn’t be wishing otherwise because Sarah was not!"  

JD opened his mouth to speak but the words did not come, at least not until Buck had strode away from him, not trusting himself to say anymore.

* * *

JD did not know how long it was until after Buck had gone that he had trusted himself enough to move from the spot where he had stood, contemplating what Buck had said. He soon came to the conclusion that Buck did not know what he was going through, no one did and therefore no one had the right to say anything. It was a comforting train of thought in which he wrapped himself as he got dressed to leave for town, telling himself that while the rest of his life may be steadily descending into disaster, at least he could keep his job. He ignored the baser truth that he had actually ran out of liquor and needed more. JD had never been a heavy drinker. Sure, he was known to get wasted with the rest of the seven but never to the point where he had been trapped in the cycle of dependency. He knew Ezra used to drink quite a bit but the gambler always seemed to be doing it to chase away unknown demons. Well if Casey dying on him was not a good enough reason, he did not know what was. 

Climbing on his horse, he looked up at the sky when a gust of strong wind blew against him. Overhead, the skies looked dark even though it was only mid afternoon. There were no reassuring patches of blue to be seen at all and the clouds above were thick and ominous. A storm was coming, JD noted and by the looks of it, a rather severe one by the presence of the thick, cumulous clouds that had taken charge of the sky above. The wind had picked up as he started riding into town and JD could hear the rustle of leaves as the wind rushed past them and see dirt, sand and other particles from the ground become swept up in the strong tide of air.

By the time he got more than five miles from home, the rain had started coming down hard. JD had paused long enough to wear his long coat to ensure that he did not get utterly drenched but he had no intention of turning back. The lure of that drink was too much for him, especially after what had happened this morning. He tried not to think that Buck might be right, that there was a kernel of truth to what Buck had said that perhaps he was lingering too much on Casey's death and not paying the attention he needed to his children. JD felt an ache in his heart each time he thought about what Adam said to him and wondered where his normally bookish and shy son had suddenly produced such a voice that spoke so eloquently and with words that had such a point to them.  

A part of him could not even began to imagine how he could have hit Adam the way he had. In all his life, JD had never raised a hand to his son. He had never needed to and the fact that he had done it left JD with a profound feeling of shame. It was no wonder Buck and Vin had reacted as they had. He supposed he ought to be grateful that it was Buck who had turned up to talk to him instead of Vin or worse yet, Chris Larabee. Chris had told him that it took time to get over something like this and JD had been waiting for it to happen but the pain did not subside and now it was coupled with fresh wounds. His son and daughter were strangers to him and by the sounds of it, his friends did not think that much of him either.

The rain came down even harder by the time he reached the river and JD saw its waters rushing past furiously as he came to a halt at the edge of the wooden bridge that ran over it. Once again, he reconsidered going back home and riding the tempest out. The water was moving so fast that the wooden slats were starting shudder and he could tell that it could the framework of the bridge was battling the river currents, the rain and the gale force winds that were moving past it. Despite his hat and coat, he was soaked through and nothing awaited him at home but more cold and too many memories of days before the children had come where he and Casey had waited out such storms snuggled in bed. After what happened there the night before, he was not ready to be there alone again.

Taking a deep breath, he nudged his horse across and though the animal stepped onto the bridge, it did not appear very happy. The rain was sweeping across the bridge in heavy sheets and JD had to dig his heels in to force the mount to continue across. His eyes began to fill with water as the rain came in at an angle, lashing his face. JD blinked to see through the veil of water but it was no easy feat when more moisture from the relentless downpour quickly replaced the rain he wiped from his eyes. JD urged his horse on, starting to consider that this might indeed be a bad idea when he looked up and saw the wooden framework of the bridge beginning to strain against the wind, nails began to appear as they were forced free and suddenly, something snapped somewhere.  

JD did not know exactly what it was but it sound as if a tree had been snapped in two like a twig. The effects following this eruption of sound was swift as he saw one piece of timber break free and disappear into the water, swept away at the blink of an eye. Another followed and soon the entire structure was collapsing, like a house of cards Ezra sometimes attempted to build. His horse panicked far sooner than he did, struggling to reach the other side as the slats underfoot also gave way. JD struggled to remain astride but when he saw the steed's head dip dangerously forward, he knew it was because there was no longer anything for the animal to stand on. He swore loudly but the words disappeared in the howl of the wind just as surely as he would when the waters came to claim him.

There was a moment of confusion, filled with noises of his horse braying in fear, of water thundering in his ears and the continued collapse of the bridge as the entire structure tumbled into the river. There was cold as the water snatched him under its waves and for a second, the sky disappeared as the rushing currents sucked him underneath. JD opened his mouth to breathe but water rushed in and suddenly he was surrounded by murky water dragging him far from where he had been, down the meandering path of the river. He lost sight of his horse and tried to reach the surface, fingers clawing through the water, seeking a hand hold in desperation and fear. None was to be found and he saw the land rushing past him, the tug of water in his clothes dragging him down. 

JD started to gasp as he tried to kick to the surface, thinking that if he did not get control of the situation, he was going to die. He was going to drown in the river and everyone would probably think he did himself in. Why shouldn't they? He had not given them any reason to believe that he was coping with Casey's passing. If anything, he had proven that he was incapable of surviving without her. His boots were filled with water and they were like weights around his ankles, forcing him father and farther away from the surface, hiding the sky as he sank to the depths. It was not as if it was the first tie he had done that; sunk to the depths that is, he thought ironically amidst his panic. He had been sinking since Casey died, getting father and father away from all the things that mattered, his children, his friends and his life. 

Why shouldn't he die this minute?

Why did he have to contribute to Adam and Annette except more pain? He thought of his son as his lungs started to shrivel up in his chest. His son, who had looked him in the eye with his bruised mouth and dislocated jaw and told him that no matter what he did to them, they would still love him. They would love him because of Casey. His son who was a better man that his father had ever been and was everything that was Casey in the finest way possible. As long as Adam was there, proud and defiant, showing that no obstacle was too great that he would dare, no matter how small and weak he looked, Casey would never really be gone. When on earth had he become so strong? The answer came to JD in a moment of clarity.  

He just was because he was Casey's son. 

All the time, people had thought that Adam took after him, they were wrong. Adam was Casey, strong, determined to hold things together when he couldn't. Hadn't she always been that way? Why did he expect her so to be any different, especially when he had been living inside of a bottle for so long? Annette was him, needing guidance, reassurance and friendship and it shamed JD that what everyone else had provided him with following his arrival in Four Corners was something he could not return to his own daughter. How could he have not seen that? How could he have not rejoiced in the fact that while he had them, she would never really be gone from his life?

It was not too late, JD had to tell his son that he was right. The person had been occupying the Dunne household these past months was not his father, the man who would survive this day was. Filled with a resolve not to break his son's heart a second time in as many days, JD kicked his legs harder and felt his boots come away from his feet. Their departure immediately ceased the drag to the bottom and JD released all the air in his lungs, allowing it to propel him upwards. He looked up seeing the sky beneath the uneven surface and knew that if he could just breach that veil, he would be safe. Swimming as hard as he could and fighting the currents, JD broke through the surface with a loud splash that was hardly noticeable among the crashing waves around him. However, it made little difference because he had made it and he rewarded that effort by taking deep gulps of air as he took stock of where the river had swept him.  

Swimming with the current instead of against it, he allowed the forces sweeping him forward to steer him towards the embankment. The weight of his clothes made the entire affair torturous and after what seemed like forever, his feet touched the mud of the shoreline creeping towards him. Feeling the soft earth beneath his feet produced a surge of hidden strength. He continued to press on until his feet were flat against the ground and the embankment was not something in the distance, but under his hands and feet. Clambering to the shore and feeling solid ground beneath him, JD collapsed exhausted, gasping greedily for air as the heart in his chest came to grips with the realization that the danger was over and stop pounding.

When his breathing slowed and he calmed himself down a little, JD just sat on the shore line for a spell, covered in mud staring at the river that had almost taken his life, in complete silence while the rain continued to teem around his ears. Something had escaped him as easily as the breaths he exhaled and JD thought it might have been anger and pain but soon understood that it was none of these but something closer to the heart and no less important; his grief. He sat there, thinking about Casey and their life and knew that no matter how much he wished it, prayed for it, begged it and fought against it, it was gone. It had been gone for sometime now and he knew it, he just could not accept it and he had to, for the sake of his children; for the last things of value Casey left him, he just had to let her go.

It started with a sharp intake of breath and then a hollow sound that escape his throat, like a wail of a banshee in the night. It dragged the soul out of him with one vicious pull and culminated in a loud sob that shook his entire body in its expression. He should have done this at her grave but denial had kept him from it and he held back, not realizing that he was also holding back his need to mourn. It was odd how he thought feeling the pain of someone's death and knowing that they were gone, were one and the same. They were not and it was a bridge that needed to be spanned from one place to the other or else he would be trapped, forever in pain, never moving beyond the moment. If it had not been for the fact that he had almost died in that river a short time leaving so many things undone, JD would never have understood that where he had been these past months, frozen in time, still tethered to Casey's death bed. 

Wondering how he was going to go on without her.

He did not know how long he sat on that embankment, letting the tears pour out of him as easily as the rain that was beating down on him. All JD was truly aware of was that he should have done this months ago and perhaps if he had, he might have spared himself the spiral the last six months of his life had become. He sobbed loud and hard, allowing the full vent of his grief to escape him, letting the large droplets of salty tears roll down his cheeks to become lost with the rain drops on his skin. His body shook as his sorrow exuded from him and he wept until he could weep no more and his entire soul felt as if it had been drained completely.

When the tears finally stopped, JD found to his surprise that though the pain was still there, it was somewhat tolerable. The weight that had been pressing down on his heart for so long was gone and what remained was an ache that did not seem to overwhelm him but offered a promise that in time, would fade even if it would never disappear entirely. JD could live with that and also understood that at that instance that he could live with a whole lot of other things to. There was no mistaking the fact that Casey would be with him no matter what but at least now he could accept that she was gone and that life did go on, as much as he hated to admit it, without her. Adam and Nettie needed him and for too long, he had pushed them away because of his own vulnerabilities, never imagining how it would be effecting theirs. He had failed both of them so miserably because he had not been able to see that while Adam and Nettie were not merely reminders of Casey's death but were also a celebration of her life. 

Everyone had told him that while his children were Casey's gift to him and they were right, he just had not listened. Pushing himself to his feet, JD looked around and saw his horse further up the shore. The animal appeared to be just as waterlogged as he and JD started walking forward, deciding that it was time the both of them came in from the cold. He reached the animal who announced its recognition with a little nicker. JD grabbed the harness around its equine head and stroke the wet bridge of its nose and sighed. 

"I guess we've both been a little lost." He said gently to the animal who did not understand the words but shared the sentiment. "Me a little more than you I think," he confessed. "Its time to find my way back again and hope I haven't screwed things up worse than I've already done." 

However to know that for sure, JD had to say these words to his children. Only then, would he know anything for certain. It was not something he relished doing, to face Adam and Nettie, to ask for their forgiveness but JD knew he had little choice but to do so. His behavior demanded that act of contrition and he was their father, he had to make them understand that he still loved them and he always would. If he could not manage that, then he would have lost Casey all over again.

And this time, it really would be forever.

* * *

JD took a deep breath and knocked on the door of the Tanner household, uncertain of what kind of reception to expect when it was answered. He knew the reaction to his presence would be hostile at least from the adults that occupied this home and rightly so, if someone had hit a child JD would be equally incensed. Buck had said Vin had wanted to beat the hell out of him and if he could, JD wished to avoid the situation from reaching such ugliness. The task he came here to do was hard enough without having to go through Vin to accomplish it. He hoped Vin would step aside and let him do what was needed.  

The door swung open a moment later and JD found himself staring next to Vin Tanner's whose blue eyes hardened the instant he realized that it was JD standing at his door. "What do you want JD?" Vin asked, jaw clenching, trying not to let his anger get the better of him as he saw his old friend standing before him. 

"I need to see my kids." JD said quietly. 

"You think you can do it without hitting them?" Vin asked sharply, his voice was merciless. His own upbringing had been one of brutality in state run orphanages and he could not abide anyone who would strike a child. The only reason why JD was not already flat on his back for what he did to Adam was because Vin knew at the heart of this behavior was the anguish of losing Casey. 

"Yes," JD assured it, knowing he deserve such harshness. "I've been wallowing in self pity for the last six months Vin, getting angrier that Casey was gone and I was still here. I didn't understand she would never really be out of my life because of Adam and Nettie. I forgot that and I forgot a whole lot of others things about friends and family Vin, but I need to see my children, I need to make it right." 

The tracker's expression softened and he reached for JD, patting him on his shoulder and saying with a little smile. "Of course you do," Vin replied. "Its good to have you back JD."

"Its good to be back." JD answered. "I don't know where I've been these past months but I can at least say that much."

"You were probably in the same place any one of us might have been in if we lost the woman we loved though may be not  _that_  far gone," he joked a little trying to diffuse the tension with a little levity. It was obvious JD had reached something of a watershed moment and friendship sometimes meant having to take the good with that bad, like it was now. "Come on in." Vin parted the door wider for JD and invited him inside. 

"Adam! Nettie!" Vin called out as he walked deeper into the house. "They're in the kitchen." Vin informed him dutifully as he led JD through the hall. 

When they arrived at the kitchen, Sam, Nettie and Adam were at the kitchen table having a light snack, while Alex was feeding three year old Daniel. They all looked up at JD with a mixture of surprise and tension. JD could see Alex staring at him in disapproval, a look Vin disarmed with a meeting of their eyes. Sam glanced at Adam in concern, bringing to JD's attention the bandage he wore around his head to nurse the jaw he had dislocated and immediately causing a resurgence of intense shame and mortification at what he had done. If anything was capable of driving away forever, the need for a drink, it was that image of his son after his abuse. 

Adam and Annette merely stared at him. Annette was a little frightened of him but he could tell she was poised on hoping as only a nine year old could that things might turn out for the better no matter how bleak they might appear to be at present. Adam, on the other hand, stared back at him in anger and suspicion, a reaction JD thought was not entirely undeserved considering his behavior the night before and realized that of the two, his apology would have to convince Adam the most. Well he was certainly going to try.

"Kids," JD swallowed staring at them with open regret in his eyes for  _all_  his bad behavior. "I need to talk to you."

Annette looked uncertainly at Adam, needing his guidance to make her decision. Adam did not move his eyes away from his father and nodded without even glancing at her. Slowly, the duo rose from their seats and followed JD into the parlor, away from the Tanners so they could talk in private. When they entered the room, no one spoke for a few seconds and Adam stared at him in expectation, waiting for him to speak first. JD took his hat out of his hand, feeling lower than dirt as he stared into his son's accusing eyes and his daughter's hopeful face .He had to rise to the occasion, he had to prove to them he could be their father again.

"I'm sorry." He said first and foremost. "I'm sorry for how I've been." 

Annette looked shocked and Adam's reaction was hidden under his eyes. Neither of the children spoke, waiting for their father to continue.

"Your mother was the only woman I have ever loved. We met when we little more than teenagers ourselves and I've had her in my life ever since I've been in the West. When she died, I thought that I couldn't go on, I didn't know how. All I could think of was being without her and the pain that came with it made me so blind with anger, I couldn't see straight. I tried to feel numb by drinking, by pushing you too away because I looked at you and I saw your mother and it just reminded me that she was gone all over again. I didn't realize that both of you were in just as much pain as I was and thanks to how I've been, you lost both of us, not just your ma. I didn't mean to do that to you Adam, Nettie. I was hurting and I took it out on you both but I never stopped loving you." JD blinked and felt tears in his eyes at having to make the admission. He blinked and looked away for a second in order to compose himself when he felt a small hand take his. 

"I love you too daddy." Nettie's voice penetrated his grief.

JD glanced down and saw his daughter smiling at him and then understood how right he had been in thinking that while he had them, Casey still lived for the smile on her face was undoubtedly Casey's, beaming at him with love. JD lowered himself to her eye level and answered. "You're so much your mother Nettie, its scares me sometimes but it also makes me very glad. I love you both and I'm sorry I haven't been your pa the way I should have been." 

Nettie's response was to embrace him hard and as JD felt his daughter in his arm, fresh tears ran down his cheeks, at the understanding how that simple act of contact could do so much to heal his ravaged heart. He held her in his arms for a few seconds, more grateful than ever that his children were here and rebuking himself again for not comprehending that until now. After a few seconds, he pulled away and stood up once more, his fingers still entwined with Nettie's as he stared at Adam who had not moved and was still wearing that indifferent expression on his face.

"Adam," JD met his son's eyes. "I should never have hit you. It was wrong and disgraceful. I've never hit you in your life and I've never been so ashamed that I did it now. I know just saying I'm sorry to you won't change things in your mind about me but I'm asking for another chance to show you that I can be better."

"You won't drink anymore?" Adam spoke, the words forced out with some effort because of his injury.

"Not the way I did since your mother died." JD responded automatically. "You were right Adam about everything. I couldn't look at you without seeing your mother and that just made things worse. I know there isn't much I can do to prove to you that I'm better now, except to answer your question, which is I don't hate you or your sister. I never did, I just so wrapped up in my own grief I could see anything thing else but losing her."

"We miss her too pa," Adam came forward. "I think about her a lot. I miss her singing in the kitchen when she makes supper, I miss not having her listen to me tell stories with Nettie on her lap and the way she makes the house smell with her cooking."

"I know," JD felt his heart breaking because he missed all those things too and suddenly became aware of how much he shared with his two children in their mutual grief. "I love you Adam, I love you and your sister. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you but I promise I will be there from now on, I can do it now." 

Adam did not need to hear any more than that and hugged his father tight because he needed a hug and because that was what his mother would expect him to do. Besides, there was enough pain to go around already, there was no need for Adam to perpetuate it by feeling anger at his father for sins that could not be erased and he wanted thing to be right between them again. His father needed forgiveness and to have back the man he had always loved, Adam was more than willing to do that.

"I love you pa." Adam whispered softly. "Let's go home."  

Yes, JD thought to himself with that statement. It was time to take his family home.


	7. Someday

 

His son Thomas, or Tommy as he preferred to be known, was three years old when Nathan Jackson had finally reached accreditation as a recognized member of the medical community. It was in essence one of the proudest days of his life and his friends were right there by his side to enjoy it with him. He remembered the celebration that had taken place fondly. He and Rain had been living in the house once occupied by Alexandra Styles that had been the venue for her first clinic in Four Corners. Shortly before Sam was born, the Tanners had moved to the Lucky Seven Ranch and Alex had turned over the clinic and the home above it to Nathan, citing that he would need a practice of his own when he became a doctor. Although he had been a little saddened by the idea of leaving his infirmary, Nathan had wanted a real home for himself and Rain and it was a gift he could not refuse. 

He remember how they had spent the whole day in celebration, enjoying respectable merriment during the day with their wives before descending into a drunken chugging session which eventually culminated in them passing out in complete inebriation at the clinic. Nathan had learnt for the first time that no matter how comfortable it looked, an examination table was no place to spend the night. Their wives, to add insult to injury, had no sympathy for any of them the next morning when they were visited by a hangover that would have made death the more palatable of the two symptoms. Nathan recalled sitting behind his desk, clutching his head in throbbing pain, wishing to be left alone to die but only to be reminded by Rain that he was Doctor Jackson now and it was time he started getting used to it. 

For Nathan, it had been a sobering moment.

After she had gone and left him with that thought and a  _very_  large pot of coffee, Nathan had sat behind his desk and pondered what that truly meant. He had spent so much time in attaining the title he had scarcely considered what changes his life would take once he did become a doctor. He had assumed he would attain his degree and that would be the end of it. He would go on as before, healing those who needed it only this time, he could tell them that he really was a doctor, not just some sawbones who learnt most of his skills from the battlefield. There was no shame in that of course but it was good to be able to look up on a wall and see a piece of paper from a fancy university saying he was a _real_ doctor.  

Nathan came to the realization that it was not just an achievement for himself but also for his race. The Emancipation Act was two decades behind America and yet the equality craved by slaves existed in name only. They were no longer slaves but they were far from free. Equality would come eventually, even if took a hundred years for society to see a Negro as the absolute equal of a white man. It required foundation to be laid to combat the popular misconceptions of inferiority promoted by bigots and other small minded people. The foundation had to be composed of men and women who could prove that the color of one's skin had very little to do with one's ability to succeed. He was the first generation that would lay the groundwork for a world that was made for not just the white man but also the black.  

Until he became a doctor, Nathan had not realized how much his own achievement contributed to that dream. Nathan realized others would be judged by how he conducted himself as a doctor and it was a sobering thing to understand how great a responsibility it was. He had wanted to be a doctor because it had been his dream and in a world where black men were not supposed to have such grand hopes, it was an achievement that he had realized his. Rain had stated that he was proof nothing was impossible if one was willing to work hard enough for it, despite the seemingly unassailable obstacles created by others. He was a role model for others to try, to achieve their own hopes and their own dreams. He understood why Alex took such pains to be the complete professional as a doctor, after all, wasn’t her conduct a reflection on whether or not women could be capable physicians? 

While he did not see himself as a role model as such, he did try to be the best doctor he could and worked hard to prove it, in particular to those who saw him as a black man and doubted his abilities for that simple fact alone. Fortunately, he rarely had to worry about such things in Four Corners who were accustomed to him being their doctor for as long as he had lived in town. It amazed him actually how many townspeople were happy for him to make the transition from healer to real doctor and he was quite startled when he was referred to as Doctor Jackson. It was a nice hearing it but even after so long, it took some getting used to. Of course, the rest of the seven never had any difficulty with the new title because in their minds at least, he had always been a doctor. Just because it did not appear on paper, did not make it any less so.

When his children were born Nathan was determined that Thomas and Rebecca had all the opportunities that he never had. More than anything, he wanted his children to never be hampered by the prejudices of society to accomplish their goals. He taught them to walk proud and tall, to never be ashamed of what they were and that they had a right to be just as anyone else. It helped that their friends were the other children spawned by the seven and that they could experience the same camaraderie that he had enjoyed since coming to Four Corners. More than anything, his friends showed him how things ought to be, not how they were. Despite the close knit friends that Tommy seemed to have acquired, in particular his friendship with Peter Standish and Mike Larabee, Nathan could not hide his concern that someday when his son went into the world, he would learn that not all white folk were like his friends. Nathan dreaded that day with a passion, aware there were hard lessons ahead for Tommy and though he tried to prepare the boy, it was impossible for Tommy to really understand until he experienced it himself. 

As the years moved on, Nathan expected the world to change a little but it did not. Changes came but not fast enough for his liking. The racial divide remained and while Tommy's childhood had been spared such things, the passing of that innocent age meant the required passing of his ignorance as well. Four Corners had not been small enough to have a large school so the classes were integrated to suit all racial types. Four Corners' proximity to Mexico and its large population of Negroes ensured that folk got along through necessity even though there were bound to be ripples every now and then. Tommy and Rebecca went to the same school with the rest of their friends and they learnt the same things. His son had a mind for the sciences and Nathan knew Tommy had the intelligence to go as far as he liked. As far as Nathan was concerned, Tommy would get the education that was still denied to many colored people across the country. 

Tommy received his first taste of how things were when he made the mistake of applying to the same colleges as the rest of his friends and came starkly upon the racial divide that separated white and black America. He had hoped to attend the same colleges as that being applied to by Peter soon learnt that many were at the moment, exclusively white. While they could object to it, the rest of the seven’s children could do very little to change things although Peter had sworn that wherever Tommy went he was sure to be close by. Tommy was prepared to give up hope when he found himself offered a place at Yale University in New Haven, Conneticutt. Yale had been offering placements to Negroes since the 1870’s and it was a non-segregated school. Although success was at hand, Tommy wondered if perhaps it was not the better decision if he went to one of the black colleges like Fisk. However, it was Nathan who convinced him otherwise.

Yale was a prestigious school and the fact that they had accepted his son proved that they recognized Tommy’s abilities. Nathan wanted Tommy to learn what it was to compete with white folk, to show them that he had every right to be there as much as they did. In his life, Tommy would have to deal with prejudice and doubt regarding his abilities and as far as Nathan was concerned, the sheltered environment of an all black college would not do. He needed to develop calluses and be desensitized to the obstacles that life would no doubt put before him because of his colour. As much as Nathan hated doing that to his son, as a Negro it was a lesson that was vital for Tommy to know. It was not Nathan’s intention to make Tommy distrust white folk but rather prepare him for the ones he knew would cast aspersions on his ability the moment he arrived.  

For most of summer, Conneticutt had been a place spoken about leisurely. Josiah had actually been there and remarked that it was a nice enough place, far away from New York to escape its big city rush but close enough to be very much an eastern state. Nathan had never been further up the Mason Dixon line to learn otherwise and his perception of Yale, New Haven and Conneticutt was the place his son was going to in order to show the world that a black man could stand up and be counted like everyone else. It did not even occur to him that Conneticutt was hundreds of miles away and so far from New Mexico that visits home were going to be next to impossible for Tommy unless it was for a lengthy break. Ezra had been complaining about it a little because he was not only losing a son but also a daughter. While Peter would be attending Yale with Tommy, Penny was bound for the theatre in New York. Julia Pemberton had an aunt there who would take the girl in while she pursued her acting career. It mad e Nathan somewhat grateful that Rebecca was still too young to be leaving home for any reason. 

Nathan told himself that he would be happy for his son, not be sad to see him go. After all, he had already been prepared for this when they saw Billy Travis leave for West Point. A few years later, Mike would do the same when he went off to college as well as Sam who left Four Corners for Eagle Bend in order to begin her apprenticeship as a cadastral surveyor. Whenever one of their children left home, it seemed as if they all suffered in some way. While nursing their drinks in the Four Corners Tavern, pretending that they were still hardened men and not fathers and husbands, the seven would try to maintain the illusion that the departure of the children had not stung.

Chris as always was stoic when Billy had gone and even more so Mike had left. Buck seemed grateful that Elena Rose had started working in the Pemberton Emporium and had no plans for a college education. Business was in her blood and she soon made herself indispensable to Julia. Buck’s son Jimmy wanted to work on the ranch, while Kyle wanted to follow Billy's footsteps and join the Academy. Josiah was the luckiest of them all since all Lilith worked with Mary at the Clarion News. Equally fortunate at least for the time being was JD because Adam had also confessed a similar desire to work on the newspaper.

Nathan was determined that when the time came, he would not be as melancholic as Ezra was bound to be. The gambler who had been more or less a full time father since the twins were born was trying hard to deny what a sizeable gap Peter and Penny would leave in his life once they were gone. Nathan told himself that he would not suffer the same way as Ezra because he had patients to worry about that would lessen the impact of Tommy’s absence from his life. However, with the arrival of fall and the beginning of the school term a week away, Nathan suddenly wondered what on Earth he was thinking, intending to send his child half way across the country, so far away from home. What did he know about Conneticutt anyway? Tommy would not know anyone but Peter and Penelope being so far from home and what happened if he landed in trouble? Who would be there to help him?

"This is a bad idea." Nathan stated whilst at their usual table in the Standish Tavern, enjoying a quick drink before he headed off home. The rest of the seven were sharing it with him, as it had been their habit for more years than any of them cared to remember.  

"What exactly is a bad idea?" Ezra glanced at him. 

"What was I thinking sending him all the way to Conneticutt! He’s just a boy!" Nathan exclaimed with wide eyes, as if the realization had just struck home what he would be facing tomorrow.

"Ah." Ezra nodded with a smug smile. "I see that I’m not the  _only_  one, who is having difficulty, how did you put it? Untying the apron strings?"

"Conneticutt is just too far away. What if something happens to him? It would take me a week to get there!" Nathan continued to ramble, his paranoia mounting with each terrible thought that crossed his mind. "He’s my son. I can’t just abandon him!"

"Nathan," Josiah spoke up. "He’s almost eighteen years old. He’s not a boy anymore."  

"He is to me!" Nathan bit back. "And what would you know, your daughter is in town. You can keep an eye on her all time. Tommy is going off to face God only knows what in the east! I mean you read stories about all those terrible things happening to people in the city! I can’t let him go!"

"Nathan calm down," Chris gave him a look. "You’re starting to panic."

"That’s easy for you to say," he gave Chris a frantic stare. "When Billy went, he had a grandfather near by to make sure that he wasn’t always entirely alone and Mikey was near enough for you to get to! But Tommy will be alone!" 

"Tommy’s a smart kid," Vin retorted. "He knows how to take care of himself."  

"But…." 

"But nothing," Ezra said sharply. "Now you were the one told me to allay my fears because I was sending not only one child but both of mine into the world. You were the one who claimed rather boldly our children needed to find their own way and that we could not choose it for them. Whatever is to come must be, for them to learn what it is to survive on their own. It was on your advice that I chose to let Penelope go off to find fortune as a thespian and if you are now telling that this was not a good idea then I am going to harangue you Mr. Jackson." 

"Look you two," Buck added his voice into the debate. "Tommy, Peter and Penny are not gonna be alone. They’re going to have each other and if there’s one thing we’ve learnt by now, our kids tend to stick together. Christ knows they learnt that well enough from us." 

Neither Nathan nor Ezra could disagree with that. Tommy and Peter were as close as any friends could be, they had been for most of their lives and none of the seven anticipated that situation changing despite the change in venue. However Nathan knew that his guilt was motivated by more than just his son being alone in a new place, it was for convincing him to go to Yale and forcing him to face white folk on their terms. He wondered if he was not placing an unfair burden on Tommy’s shoulders by indicating he had to succeed for the good of his people. He reminded himself to talk to Tommy about it before the boy left, just to make sure.  

The opportunity to do so never came. The following day, the Jackson household was in a state of chaos as both parents found themselves running a dozen errands to ensure everything was in readiness for Tommy’s departure. The entire morning became consumed in such endeavors and by the time it came for Tommy to leave, Nathan was too filled with emotion to say anything more to the boy then how much he was going to miss him. He saw Tommy and Peter boarding the same stagecoach and knew that it was more than just his son leaving home that made him so sad, it was also the passing of Tommy’s childhood. Even though both Ezra and Nathan knew that their sons were merely going off to college, there was a deeper realization that after this point, they could not be thought as children any longer but rather young man facing the world and whatever it had to offer. 

Nathan only hoped that whatever it had for Tommy would not be too discouraging. 

* * *

For the next few months, the letters that Nathan received from Tommy were promising. Although it had been a substantial change in environment in terms of the fact that the Yale campus was almost comparable in size to the town of Four Corners, Tommy seemed to have adapted well enough. The classes were difficult, no more than he had anticipated they would be and some of the other students had the advantage of attending fancy preparatory schools that made their transition as freshman all the more smoother. The positive note of Tommy’s letters did much to alleviate his father’s fears in regards to how he fared at the prestigious institute and Nathan wondered if it was possible that he had been wrong about what Tommy would encounter at the school.  

Perhaps things were changing after all. 

* * *

"Thank God we’re home." Peter Standish said with a sigh when he saw the familiar sights of Four Corners surrounding the stagecoach that had returned to the familiar surroundings of home. After the last few months away, Peter was more than glad to be home on familiar ground. He knew Tommy probably felt that way and hoped that Christmas at home would lift his best friend’s spirits somewhat. The last months had been hardest on Tommy most of all and only Peter could fully appreciate just how difficult they had been since he was the only one privy to much of what his friend had been enduring.

"Yeah," Tommy nodded somberly, casting his gaze out the window and feeling some measure of balance returning to his universe as he felt to the security of the home that had never made him feel as terrible as the past months away from it had been. "Thank God." He mused softly. 

"Tommy," Penny sighed, sliding an arm around his shoulder. "Maybe you should think about not going back." 

"Penny!" Peter exclaimed, horrified that she could even bring up such an idea.  

"Well someone needs to say it to him!" Penny glared at him and retorted. "I don’t like seeing Tommy this way any more than you do!"

"He shouldn’t have to leave!" Her brother returned fiercely. "He has every right to be there!" 

"Normally I would agree with you," Penny returned, refusing to let Peter think that her statement was based on any belief that Tommy was inferior in any way. "But they’re not going to give him the chance to find out! They're going to keep trying to push him out!"

"Not everyone of them thinks that way!" Peter defended his classmates even though he did it mostly for Tommy's benefit. He did not want Tommy to believe that everyone was against him. "They don't know him like we do! Most of them have wanted to know a colored person! He's got to show them that he's worth knowing." 

"Do the both of you think you can stop talking to me like I'm not here?" Tommy finally responded and gave them both a stern look.

Peter immediately felt admonished and for his insensitivity but he was also quite annoyed that Penny had suggested what she did. "I'm sorry Tommy." He immediately apologized. "You worked so hard to get there, I don't want to see it taken away from you."

"Neither do I Tommy," Penny declared, wishing to clarify her position so that he understood that her stance earlier was not out of any lack of confidence in him but rather fear that he might be hurt more than he already was. "You're my family too and I'm worried the pressure you're under and the way those fools treat you is going to keep you from concentrating on what's really important." 

"I know," Tommy gave her a warm look, knowing that beneath her sometimes superficial and vain exterior was a heart of gold, full of love and kindness. It had touched him greatly that she had called him part of her family especially after the behavior he had been experiencing at the hands of other white people. "I appreciate what you're saying but I can't quit, no matter how hard it gets."

"It's not going to get better." Penny sighed regretfully, her eyes filled with worry. "They're stupid people who have not been taught better. I thought where we came from was small and backward, that the people in the city were worldly and smart but they aren't, they're just mean and they judge others by appearances alone. There so many people around them, that's all they have time for so its easy to generalize someone different rather than stopping a minute to get to know them."

"You're right," Tommy agreed and was rather impressed by how astute that observation was. He supposed that despite the fact she had chosen to go straight to the theatre as opposed to studying first, Penny knew more about people than either he or Peter. She observed them to learn her trade and in studying them, she understood them a great deal better "But I still can't quit."

"Why not?" She implored. Tommy was like her brother too. Since childhood, he and Peter had been close friends and she feared for him surrounded by all those bigots and detractors. 

"Because my father told me how important it is that I stay." Tommy replied earnestly. "I'm one of the first few black men to have the opportunities that I do. Yale is a great school, its a prestigious school and there are not many of us who are allowed in, if any at all. My father says I have to tough it out to make it easier for the others who come after me."

"I'm glad." Peter said firmly, giving Penny a look of triumph that Tommy was staying. "You deserve to be there and I'll stand by you no matter what happens." He replied, determined to do as he had been doing the past months, ignoring the cruelties hurled in his direction because of his friendship with Tommy. If there was one thing that Peter had learnt being Ezra Standish' son was that good people were hard to find and friends were even harder. He could say with confidence that Tommy would do anything for him if he was in need and Peter knew for a fact, he would do the same for Tommy. Since leaving Four Corners and venturing out into the world, devoid of his father and the rest of the seven watching comfortingly over them, Peter had learnt how valuable true friendship could be.  

"Thanks Peter." Tommy answered gratefully; aware of what Peter had been hiding from him. He knew that defending him had made Peter as much an outcast as he and he would have told his best friend that it was not necessary, if he did not know that the request would offend Peter greatly. Sometimes Tommy wondered how two disparate cynics like Ezra Standish and Julia Pemberton had produced such an idealistic son. Peter seemed so unlike his parents, even Penny who seemed to be more aware of the uglier side of people than her brother. Tommy wondered which branch of the Standish line had Peter been a throwback. "I couldn't do it without your help." 

"Anytime brother." Peter grinned.

"Okay, so we're agreed then." Tommy returned to the subject they had discussed at length before arriving in Four Corners now that the stagecoach was well and truly in town and about to pull up next to the Gem Hotel. "Nothing is said to my father. As far as he's concerned, I'm just doing great in college, right?" He stared at both Penny and Peter in anticipation of their agreement to his request.

"Alright," Penny frowned. "But I'm not happy about this." She grumbled as the Concord came to a stop. "I happen to respect your dad and I know that he wouldn't want you to be at this stupid school if it was making you miserable!"  

"Penny please....." Tommy was almost begging her. "It means so much to him that I do well there, I don't want to disappoint him. He's right, its a great honor for me to be there and its got to be hard for me so that it will be easier for the others." 

"Oh Tommy," Penny sighed, placing her hand on his cheek. "I love you, you, know? You're like my brother and I'll do this for you. I'm a great actress so Uncle Nathan won't see anything else but what you want him to see but I'm telling you this for your own good and you should listen because I'm a woman and I'm smarter than you; Yale is just a school. It doesn't matter what you do for the others. The future takes care of itself. You should be there for you and only you. You shouldn't be there for anyone else."

"I know you're right Penny," Tommy let out a sigh as the Concord came to a halt and they could hear the driver lowering himself from his perch along with the whiney of horses that were eager for a rest after their long journey. "Maybe I'll tell him someday but not right now. I just couldn't bear to have him be so disappointed in me." 

"He's your pa, Tommy." Peter interjected. "He could never be disappointed in you. Look, we'll cover for you, you don't have to worry about that. You dad will never know how things really are for you, okay?"

"Thanks," Tommy said clearly relieved as he prepared to get out of the carriage. However, he did not mention to either Penny or Peter that it was not them he was so concerned about letting the truth slip to his father about life in college, it was himself. 

* * *

It was Christmas in New Mexico. 

Every member of the Magnificent Seven seemed to make it to church on Christmas Day. It did not matter that for the most of the year, very few of the seven saw reason to venture into the structure at all. It was not that they were faithless men by any means, it was just that their eyes had seen too much to completely place their faith in a supposedly all seeing God who required so much proof of their devotion. However, Christmas Day was a celebration of all they had, of the successes and even the tragedies of their lives, it was a day for families and no matter how jaded they were, they could not help but still want to be part of something like that.  

Although Josiah Sanchez was far from being a practicing preacher as such, the town saw the erudite big man with the voice of spring shaking off the winter cold as their spiritual leader. Unlike most preachers, he did not have the habit of forcing the Lord down their throats, guiding his flock so to speak by allowing his actions to speak to them. To the town of Four Corners, Josiah who lived among them, who fought for and by them was more of a preacher to them than any that had come before him. His duties as town preacher were light but on Christmas Day, it was more or less his lot to conduct the service and while it had taken some years to overcome his fear of addressing the congregation (aided by a great deal of Red Eye). 

Josiah stared at the faces before him and was pleased by what he saw. Chris Larabee and his family with present. He flashed Lilith a smile as she cradled her daughter Hannah and still found himself musing at the realization that he was now a grandfather. Beside her, Billy Travis in uniform sat next to his wife, his arm draped over her shoulder. Mike was also home from college and seemed to look more and more like Chris in manner if not entirely in appearance, each time he was seen by the seven. Kyle and Sarah were chuckling to themselves before being nudged by Mary who told them both to be still.  

It was also the first year that JD Dunne had made such a public appearance with the new woman in his life, Naomi Claremont. Naomi had arrived in town three years after Casey had passed on, having bought the hotel from Mr Heidegger when the man had decided to return to journey. Originally an entertainer from the East, Naomi with her dazzling blond hair and air of New York style had opted for a new beginning by running her own business and performing in the hotel as a singer. Although she was very different from Casey in almost every way, her affection for JD was never in doubt. From the moment she had arrived in town, Naomi had more or had her mind set on JD and for a widower who had been alone for the past three years, he never stood a chance of being able to deny her. Still the relationship had been tentative at first with JD's reluctance having to do mostly with the overcoming the idea that anyone could take Casey's place in his heart. 

When such doubts had dissipated, JD began to court Naomi very casually. The lady's approach to his two children were a little less forward, with her and Annette being friends mostly because Naomi was unafraid to announce her intention of being no one's mother. Instead, she preferred to be Annette's friend and to a young girl whose mother could never be replaced by anyone, the arrangement seemed to work quite well indeed. Josiah was just glad to see JD a little happier again. Even after all this time, the rest of the seven still felt the need to protect the youngest of them, despite the fact that JD was town sheriff and a father of two children. 

Josiah kept his sermon short because there was nothing worse than prattling on too long when his audience wanted to get home and start celebrating the day. He knew he himself was filled with such anticipation. As it was their habit since they had come together, the seven were celebrating Christmas together at the Lucky Seven ranch. The celebration seemed all the more important with all the children home although Josiah was aware that would come day that when these gathering would be less frequent and the children would go their own ways. Although none of the seven men would admit it, none of them were eager to see that day come. 

* * *

Lord knows there were too old for it but habits were hard to break and after Christmas lunch, the children of the seven found themselves congregating in their favorite place at the Lucky Seven ranch, in the loft above the barn. It was the venue of so many dreams and childhood discussions. No matter how old they were or where their lives might take them, in this place at least, their childhood could remain intact and forever. Lying spread out on the hay, laughing and relating the course their lives had taken, it felt as if they were children again and it had become a ritual for as many of them to gather here whenever the opportunity allowed for it. Now that the years were hurtling by so quickly, it seemed all the more important to keep in touch.

"So you actually got a part in play?" Sam asked as she listened to Penelope relating her news. "I mean they saw you and thought you were good?"

"Yes!" Penny declared hotly tossing a handful of hay at Sam for her teasing. "I am playing Lavinia, daughter of Titus Andronicus!"

"Titus?" Jimmy joked. "That the Titus Lonsdale that guy who robbed a bank in Amarillo last month?"  

"Shut up you!" Elena Rose swatted her younger brother on the head gently. "Its Shakespeare!" 

"Go on," Mike urged, "say a line or two." 

"Oh great Mike, now we'll never shut up, she'll do the whole damn play!" Peter grumbled. "She lives for someone saying that to her!" 

"You are not my brother." Penny glared at him and then took a deep breath as if preparing to shed herself like a snake skin in order to assume the role she was meant to play. "Okay, let's see this is from my last speaking act, where I am about to be violated...." 

"Woah! There are children here!" Elena cautioned, glancing anxiously at Rebecca, Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle.  

"I'm seventeen years old!" Nettie declared imperiously. "I am not a child!" 

"I'm twelve." Sarah said with just as much dignity. "Momma says I'm a lady." 

"Mom said that to you since you were three years old Sarah," Kyle pointed out and received a glare from Sarah's piercing green eyes. "It don't make it true." 

"We'll be fine!" Jimmy scowled. "I want to hear it!" 

"You see, Jimmy has taste." Penny tipped her nose upwards. 

"Not after he hears you massacring the role." Peter teased.

"SHUT UP!" Adam barked playfully and stared at Penny with a smile, drawing a groan from her brother as he flopped back on to the hay. "Go on."

  _"Tis the present death I beg, and one thing more_

_That womanhood denies my tongue to tell_

_O' keep me from their worse-than-killing lust,_

_And tumble me into some loathsome pit_

_Where never man's eye may behold my body._

_Do this, and be a charitable murderer."_

"And then I get dragged off and violated and they cut out my tongue and chop off my hands." Penny concluded. "It will be my  _finest_  hour."

"That's one way to put it." Sam chuckled.  

Mike was about to speak when he noticed Tommy was not paying attention but staring out the window, into the sky outside. Leaving the others as they offered Penny their critique on her performance. Although three years older than he, in their youth, it had been Tommy, Peter and he that made up the triumvirate that always landed them in more trouble than they knew what to do with. It had been hardest for Mike to leave for college because had made the journey alone being the oldest of their group. Billy did not count because he had gone to West Point when they were still children. However, Mike had been the first to leave home after Billy and though Sam was not far behind him, she only had to go as far as Eagle Bend. Mike had never thought he could feel so alone as those first few months away from Four Corners and everyone he had ever known. 

California was a nice place but it had been a world away from what he had known before. As he approached Tommy, he had some idea of what was plaguing his friend. No doubt, Tommy felt the same loneliness. It was not the same for Peter because Penny was close by but for Tommy, who found himself not only alone because of family but because of his color, Mike imagined it must have been even worse.

"Hey," he said sliding against the wall next to Tommy. "How's things in New Haven?" 

"Fine." Tommy returned softly, his gaze still staring out the window. "Its college right. They're all the same." 

"Well not exactly," Mike shrugged. "I mean you're at Yale and I'm at Berkeley. I'm sure they both had pretty different ideas on each other."

"They're all the same." Tommy returned unimpressed by that statement. 

"How you doing over there?" Mike asked, perceptive enough to know that that not all was as rosy as Tommy had attempted to make them believe.  

"Okay," Tommy shrugged. "I have to study a lot to keep up with them. I don't want to look like a dumb ass nigger."

The use of the word shocked Mike to no end. In all his life, he doubted he had ever heard anyone in Four Corners come out and openly say it, especially in his hearing. When he left town for college, he noticed how some white folk called some Negroes that and there was so much derision behind the word that it was all Mike could do to keep from flattening the people who said that because of its cruel intent. Hearing it come from Tommy astonished him and convinced Mike that nothing everything was as perfect as the picture Tommy had painted to his father about his life at Yale.  

"So you want to lose the attitude and tell me what the problem is?" Mike responded coolly, recovering in record time to appear unperturbed. 

"Why?" Tommy stared at him. "Its not like you can do anything about it." 

"Probably not," Mike agreed. "But I can listen." 

"There's nothing to tell Mike," Tommy sighed, aware that he should not be taking out his frustrations on Mike especially when his friend was only trying to help. "I can't leave and they hate me." 

"Is this about your dad?" Mike guessed, aware of how proud Nathan was about Tommy making it to Yale, one of the most prestigious schools in the country.  

"He's so proud of me Mike," he sighed heavily, as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders. Well not so much the weight of the world as it was the weight of responsibility. "I can't let him down. I won't." 

"You're not letting him down if you want out of Yale." Mike replied. "Hell given a choice, I wouldn't exchange Berkley for Yale for anything. Its hard even for a white kid to survive there, I can't imagine how you're doing." 

"The teachers don't say anything to me but I can see it in their eyes," Tommy whispered softly. "They look at me and they look at Peter and I can see the difference in how they see us. They try not to show it but I know." 

"I can't make any excuses for them Tommy," Mike answered gently. "I'm not even going to bother. All I can say is that it  _will_  get better someday but I don't think its right that you should have to shoulder the weight of your father's dreams. If you're not going to Yale or to college for anyone but yourself then you have no business being there. It's a place wasted and should go to someone who wants to be there for the right reasons, not because they think they have to be a representative for their entire race. Nobody should have that kind of responsibility on them."

"It means so much to him." Tommy said quietly. 

"I know," Mike sighed. "I can see that but you mean a lot to him too." 

"This is too hard." Tommy replied. "I thought I could manage their hatred but I can't. They look at me and they don't even know me but they've already made up their minds. Why do they do that? What makes my color so important?" 

"I don't know," Mike replied. "I haven't been away at college long enough to answer that one." 

"Things have changed so much." Tommy sighed, knowing that he was being pushed towards a decision he had no wish to make but had little choice. His friends were right and in his heart he knew that he was right about how he felt but he still could not bring himself to do what was needed. He just could not bear to see that disappointment in his father's eyes if he were to tell Nathan how he really felt. "I wish it stayed the way they did when we kids. Everything was so much simpler then. I mean all we had to worry about was you dragging us off on some stupid treasure hunt. All this growing up, its hard."

"I guess that's why people don't like doing it." Mike agreed looking over his shoulder at his friends, laughing and talking as if nothing had changed and yet everything had. "Sometimes change is good. I college isn't all that bad is it? I know those asses there must be taking any good there is out of the experience but a whole new world opened for me when I went. I hoped it did for you too." 

"It has in more ways than one." Tommy answered. "Although there are times I can almost understand why dad wanted me to go to college at Yale. I think it wasn't just the learning and the prestige, I think that it was to meet people just like the ones that make it so hard for me there." 

"Why would he do that?" Mike asked puzzled that Tommy could think his father capable of such a thing. 

"Maybe because racism exists. All my life, I've lived in Four Corners, surrounded by friends like you so I never really know how bad it could be outside of it." Tommy declared almost as if the answer was a revelation in itself. Was that his father's reasoning behind what he had been enduring at Yale? For him to develop calluses around his emotions so that he would be capable of dealing with people like the one he had met in college? "I mean think about it." He met Mike's gaze. "While I've been here, I've never really been judged by my color. In Four Corners, I'm Doctor Jackson's son and that's how people see me, even the white folks. But it isn't like that everywhere is it?" 

"No," Mike shook his head. "It isn't. The outside world will see you as Negro first, a man second. When I left Four Corners, I realized that there are good people and then there are the kind that can be ugly and cruel and sometimes no matter how much you want to stop what they do or change how they think, you can't. I wish you didn't have to find out something like that this way." 

"Maybe its better I find out this way first, before I really have to go out on my own." The younger man mused. "My dad was a slave and he learnt early on how to deal with the way things are. If I didn't learn, I would go through my whole life being angry with everyone and everything. It could have been really bad."

"It could have been," Mike agreed with a little smile. "I guess he was trying to prepare you for what was out there."

"I guess he was," Tommy met his gaze, wondering how he could not have seen it before this. "I thought he was trying to make me live his dream by going to that school but its not the truth at all is it?"

"No it isn't." Mike shook his head, agreeing with the conclusion that Tommy had reached on his own. He was glad that Nathan Jackson had not failed his son. The doctor had always been capable of knowing just what it was his patients needed without any of them having to come out and say it. Part of what made Nathan such a great doctor was his empathy and compassion. Mike hated to think he would keep those qualities from his son but then Mike realized that Nathan's greatest gift, as a healer was the quality of knowing exactly what was needed to help. Tommy should have recognized that his father's actions of late were motivated by that same desire. As cruel as it might seem at first, in truth, Nathan had sent Tommy to Yale because it was just what the boy needed to prepare himself for the outside world.

"I underestimated him." Tommy whispered, feeling a deep sense of shame as he considered what he had just unraveled before his eyes. "I thought he was pushing me too hard but that's not what he was trying to do at all. He was trying to make me strong." 

"Your father's an amazing man." Mike smiled. 

Tommy did not speak for a few seconds but he turned to Mike after a moment and returned his smile. "I think all our father's are pretty special."

* * *

It was almost time for Christmas dinner and Nathan had been given the chore of rounding up the children that were scattered throughout the house. Most were already on their way to the dinner table, being drawn there by the wonderful smell of food that was wafting through the house. Dinner was usually an informal affair when the seven got together mostly because with their wives and children, there simply no room at the table and the meal was spent with everyone finding a place to sit after helping themselves to the food. Nathan liked the idea a lot and reminded him of the days when the seven would find themselves around at campfire, sharing a meal when they were out on the trail.

Nathan missed those times dearly. He would recall Chris Larabee dressed in poncho, growling in monosyllabic words at attempts to draw him into conversation when he was trying so hard to brood. It was such a far cry from the man, who was at the moment, was trying to hand his granddaughter back to her mother, because the look on his face indicated that the child needed changing. Vin Tanner would always keep the peace when Chris had gotten too ornery for his own good by drawing the conversation away from the somber gunslinger. Instead of keeping the peace, Vin was now garnering dark looks from Chris because he was laughing at the man's predicament. Ezra on the other hand, never seemed to change. He was still the consummate gambler as evidenced by the card trick he was attempting to Sarah and Daniel. Oh Mary would just love that, Nathan thought silently.  

He glanced out the window and saw Mike and Elena taking a moonlight walk and also noticed that Buck seemed to be pacing the space beside that window, trying not to watch even though his expression showed all the signs of a man about to rush to his daughter's rescue. It was a far cry from the ladies man who had left a trail of broken hearts wherever he went. If any one of them had gone through a substantial change, he supposed it was JD. JD had been a boy when they first met and now he was father, with children of his own. Like the rest of the seven, Nathan was pleased at the new woman in his life. He could tell by the way JD was staring at Naomi as she and Rebecca led some of the teenagers in some caroling that while she would never quite be Casey, Naomi had captured JD's heart.

Nathan took a moment to observe his little girl Rebecca who was twelve years old and felt his heart melt as he heard her sing. Her duet with Naomi filled the house with music and captured the attention of those present. Josiah was leaning back in a chair, closing his eyes and letting the music calm his soul and Nathan daresay that the crows were well and truly banished from his oldest friend's psyche. Nathan watched his daughter for a moment, wondering where time had gone realizing that soon she would be gone too and it would be just him and Rain again, as it had been in the beginning.  
Almost as if she had heard the thought, Nathan felt Rain's hand slip into his own as she encircled his waist from behind him, her eyes staring at the same thing that he was. He looked over his shoulder and their eyes met, thinking the same.

"When did we get so old?" He asked her as Rain rested her head against his shoulder.  

"We're not old," she smiled, still staring at her daughter. "We're forever because of her and because of Tommy."  

Nathan could not disagree with that. "You're too smart to be married to some country doctor." He commented with a look of warm affection. 

"I know," Rain grinned. "But someone had to take care of you and I don't mind the sacrifice." 

"Sacrifice, huh?" Nathan turned around to kiss her.  

"Oh please!" Jimmy Wilmington who happened to walk past at the tender moment, suddenly declared. "I'm still a child! I'm too young to be seeing old people kiss!"  

"Get out of here you smart ass." Nathan growled jokingly and chuckled with Jimmy as the boy continued towards the dinner table. 

"Nathan have you seen Tommy?" Rain asked when he faced her again. 

Nathan's eyes scanned the room upon that request and saw no sign of his son and could not recall seeing him earlier either. "No, I haven't."

"Has he seemed a little quiet to you since he got back?" Rain inquired. Her expression showing clearly she had noticed something amiss with their son's behavior.

"I don't know," Nathan looked away. "He hasn't said much to me at all." 

"And you don't find that odd?" She gave him a look. 

"Of course I do." He retorted wondering how she could think he would miss something like that. Nathan had noticed that his son seemed a little more distanced from him then usual. He wondered if it was not due to the fact that the boy was growing up and assumed that relationships tended to change once a child left home. "I just thought I might give him a few days to settle in. I mean he's spent the last few months in a different place, it might take some time to get accustomed to being home once again."

"Oh that is nonsense. How do you men come up with so many ways  _not_  to talk to each other? He is your son and he has never had difficulty talking to you and you to him. I want you to go find him and find out what's wrong Nathan." 

"But Rain...." Nathan started to protest. 

"But nothing." She disengaged herself from his grip. "You will go now Nathan Jackson." 

Nathan frowned, aware that when she used that tone with him, he had little choice in the matter. "I'm going." He sighed and left her.  

Nathan did not want to tell Rain that he was a little worried about talking to Tommy. In all honesty, he suspected what Tommy had been telling his family about Yale might not be entirely true. Nathan recalled being somewhat surprised that Tommy had denied encountering any problems there and wondered if he had not been a little cynical about how the white folks at Yale would treat his son. He wondered if perhaps he was marked more than he would like to think by the hardships of his own youth, after all, people did change and certainly, he had not worried about acceptance since becoming one of the seven. However, now that he thought about it deeper, an ugly suspicion began to rear its head inside of Nathan that perhaps Tommy had not been entirely truthful.

What if things were as bad as Nathan feared? 

The possibility made the older man cringe because it was part of the reason he had sent his son to Yale, to prepare him for life as a black man. Four Corners had given Tommy too sheltered and upbringing and Nathan had feared how he would fare when he went out into the world and realized his kind was looked upon by the vast majority with intolerance and bigotry. Sending him to Yale had been a way of preparing Tommy for all the things he would encounter when he finally left home because it was too much to believe that things had changed in his life time to make Tommy's way any easier than his had been.  

He found Tommy a short time later, alone on the porch, staring into the pristine beauty of the night, alone and in silence. Tommy reacted to his arrival with little more than a sidelong glance before shifting slightly on the swing he had been sitting on in order to make room for his father as well as an invitation to join him. Nathan took that as a good sign and sat down next to his son, feeling more and more certain that they did indeed have some serious talking to do. He felt inordinately guilty of what he had put Tommy through but he was still certain that it had been the right thing. Tommy had to know what was out there. He could not stay in Four Corners forever, no matter how much Nathan might wish it so. Tommy was a almost a grown man but Nathan still saw the little boy he had brought into this world with his own hands, even now. He saw the child that had blown up his laboratory trying to make God only knew what to stink out the schoolhouse with young Mike Larabee and Pete Standish. H e remembered fondly how after that Nathan had capitulated and allowed Tommy to work in the place with him, just so he could temper the boy's need to make things with chemicals. As absurd as they sometimes seemed, those memories were more precious to Nathan than gold.

For short time, neither man said a word to each other. They merely sat there in the darkness, listening to the cheerful voices emanating from the house behind them, trying to overcome this awkwardness that had suddenly descended upon both of them. It was cold outside and Nathan knew that sooner or later someone would come searching for them and he did not want to leave this discussion any longer than they already had. He wanted to know the truth and he wanted to explain himself if Tommy blamed him for any of it. What he had done was for the best of reasons but nothing was worth the price if it drove a wedge between himself and his son. He was about to say something when suddenly, Tommy beat him to it by speaking first.  

"I was angry at you." Tommy replied, swiveling his head from the ranch ahead of him to meet his father's gaze. 

"I kind of figured that." Nathan answered because on some level he had known it to be true.

"The first day I got there, I thought of all the things I would be able to learn. I was so excited." Tommy continued to speak, his eyes softening with emotion. "Then someone called me a nigger. At first I wasn't even sure that they were talking to me but they were."

Nathan blinked slowly; his worst fears confirmed as Tommy began to tell him the real truth about his experiences at Yale.

"It got worse as the days went along and if it wasn't for Peter, I think I would have come straight home." Tommy confessed, swallowing hard. "If it was just the other kids, I think I might have handled it better but it wasn't just the other students, it was the teachers too. It was the way people in New Haven looked at me, like I was some kind of a freak. I wasn't dumb like the colored folk who lived around there are supposed to be. Do you know the first one of us to get a Ph D went to Yale? His name was Edward Bouchet and he was physicist. He got his degree and now he teaches school! He should be a researcher but that's the best he could do because he was black. What's the point of all I'm going through if I'm going to be just a teacher? I wanted to be a chemist!" 

"Because it won't always be that way." Nathan replied. "There was a time when we couldn't even learn to read because we were property. I remember those days, son. I lived through them and I saw things change. I saw my freedom become real, I saw myself learn to read and write, I saw myself become a doctor. The changes are coming even if they don't come fast enough. I wanted you to go to Yale so that you could learn that there are many obstacles in front of us." 

"I didn't need to know that!" Tommy hissed. "I was happy not knowing. I never had to worry about things like this here!"

"You won't always be here!" Nathan insisted. "If this was your whole world from start to finish, I wouldn't have done what I did. I would have let you go on without ever knowing what its like out there for other colored folk but you're going to leave someday and you needed to know."

"I hated you for making me go." Tommy replied, his lips slashed across his face in bitterness. "I mean I wanted to go to Fisk University in the Mid West. They have a colored school there. I wouldn't have been such an outcast." 

"You can still go." Nathan whispered, hating the anger in his son's voice and worst of all knowing that it was he who was responsible for it. "If you want to transfer to Fisk, we can do that. I understand." 

"No you don't," Tommy's eyes flared. "If I go to Fisk now, then I'm running away. The only thing that I hate more than that place is letting them know that they beat me! I won't give them the satisfaction of knowing that they drove me away because I couldn't take it. I hated you dad for making me go there, for making me suffer their hatred but then I realised that I'd never known it before even though it's everywhere and half the reason I'd been taking it so hard because I was never prepared for that kind of thinking." 

"No you weren't," Nathan answered, unable to deny that fact. 

"But its out there and there's a lot of it and no matter what I do in my life, they'll always see me as colored and the only way I'm going to get through it is if I show them that is not all there is to me. I can't do that hiding from them. It doesn't matter if I'm black or white, a man or a woman; I won't hide from anyone. I'll fight them every inch of the way on their own terms because I  _can_. You taught me to stand up on my own, to never let anyone tell me that a thing couldn't be done. I'm not about to start now. There are others out there, worse off than me. They don't have the friends I do, or the upbringing. I have to fight for them by staying at Yale, by not letting those fancy boys with their trust funds and their silver spoon tell me I don't have what it takes to learn." 

Nathan never felt prouder of his son but he was also afraid for him. "Tommy, I know what I said and I was wrong. You should live your live as you choose, for yourself, not for me or anyone else. I thought I was doing the right thing by saying that to you but I was not. The future will take care of itself. You just concentrate on  _your_  life." 

"Thanks dad," Tommy surprised his father by embracing him warmly.  

For a moment, Nathan felt tears threatening to come down his cheeks but he managed to hold them off long enough as Tommy pulled away and looked upon him with a smile and a new resolve. If anything convinced Nathan that his son was going to do fine without him, it was this moment. "I want you to follow your dreams Tommy, I want you to have everything that I did because I've had a good life for most part." 

"I'm going to follow my dreams dad," the younger man replied. "I've been thinking a lot about my life today. I thought about things Peter and Mike said as well. I've come to a few decisions and I hope you'll stand by me." 

"You don't have to ask that son," Nathan responded without hesitation but he was also a little anxious. 

"I'm going back to Yale when the break's over. I'm going to study and get my degree." Tommy stated with a new resolve in his voice because things were so clear for him now. He had spent all day thinking about what he and Mike had discovered about his father's reasoning and from there, the ideas that had formulated in his mind had taken on a life of their own.

"If that's what you want." Nathan uttered, ensuring that Tommy understood he did not have to prove anything to him or to anyone else.

"Yes that's what I want." He confirmed with a nod. "Its what I want because when I'm done getting a degree, I'm going to try and become a chemist but if I can't, I'm going to be a teacher."

"Are you sure?" Nathan stared at his son, disliking the idea that he was willing to give up so easily on his dreams. "You always wanted to be a chemist." 

"I do," Tommy was not about to lie about that, especially to his father who knew him so well. "I'll try and follow that dream if I can but if it doesn't happen, everything else that I've learnt since going to Yale has given me a new direction I never considered before."

"And that is?" Nathan asked, uncertain of where his son's conclusions had led him. 

"Teaching." He stated firmly and with pride. "I want to teach other colored children to make their dreams come true. You were right dad, the more we stand up and be counted, the more things will change. It won't happen in your lifetime or mine but it will happen. I want to be a part of showing our people we can be whatever we want, no matter what  _some_  white folks may think or say."  

"That's a good direction," Nathan replied, not expecting this at all but he could not deny it held its promise. Nathan knew his son, he would do it too, just to prove it could be done and because he really believed in it. "It will be hard."

"You told me once that the best things in life often are." Tommy reminded. 

"Now you're really making me feel old." Nathan laughed.  

"Come on," Tommy rose to his feet and looked over his shoulder at his father. "I'm getting hungry smelling all that food."

"I don't blame you," Nathan said pushing himself off the swing. "Your Aunt Inez is still the best cook in town, except your mother of course."

"Relav dad, I won't tell mom you said that." Tommy chuckled. 

"Hey Tommy," Nathan said quickly as the boy was about to open the door to the house. "I love you, you know?"

"I know dad," Tommy grinned. "Thank you for what you tried to do. I didn't understand it at the time but I do now and I'm glad for it. It was a hard lesson for me to learn but I realise why you did it and why I had to learn it." 

"Thank you," Nathan's voice escaped him in a soft whisper. "I never meant to hurt you. I was just afraid you would be worse off if you didn't understand."

"I got hurt dad," the boy confessed. "I won't lie about that but sometimes you need to hurt a little to appreciate things and thanks to you, I'm appreciating more than you know."

Nathan's reaction was to embrace the boy once more because when he let go, it would be a man in the place of the child he loved. He did not have to worry about Tommy any more because his son had found his own way and the path no doubt rocky in its journey was exactly where Tommy wanted to be. As a father, Nathan could not hope for more than that.

"Merry Christmas dad." Tommy smiled before they went in. 

"Merry Christmas." Nathan replied because it certainly was. 

 


	8. Father of the Bride

 

For Buck Wilmington, fatherhood had come even before marriage.

His initiation into becoming a family man was like all things to do with his life; completely unexpected. When Buck had first met Inez Recillos, he had known immediately his affection for the lovely barmaid was more than just the casual infatuation he had with most women that caught his eye. Something buried deep down inside of him, recognized the emotions he had for her as more than just his usual need to charm every woman that he came across. Everything about her touched him on a deeply personal level. She was strong, determined, and honest to a fault and in possession of more courage than any woman ought to have. At first, Buck refused to believe it could happen to him. He was far too happy being a bachelor and believed the way to riding himself of such feelings for her was to have that particular itch scratched.

Of course with Inez, thing were never quite that simple.

He pursued her like he had pursued no woman in his life and though she was highly resistant to his charms, Buck suspected it was mostly because she did not wish to become just another notch on his belt, like so many others before her. Through the course of time, Buck came to understand that despite her fiery protestations at giving him the pleasure of his company, her feelings for him were almost as passionate even though she was too proud to admit it. It took a great deal of perseverance before a night of drunken celebration had lowered Inez’s guard long enough for her to love him. Their first night together was burned into Buck’s memory and it was everything he thought she would be and more. For a man as accomplished as he in the art of love, Inez had literally swept him off his feet. Until the day he died, Buck Wilmington would count their first night together as one of the most passionate in his life.

Unfortunately Inez had other ideas. The next morning had seen her embarrassed and mortified by her actions. Buck was ready to marry her that morning but Inez would hear none of it, she may have made love to him but she was far from trusting him completely with her heart. Under the circumstances, Buck supposed she had a right to be so adamant. Inez was not a woman who fell in love easily and he was hardly the model of the ideal husband. His previous actions with the opposite sex indicated that he would find marriage restrictive and ultimately be unfaithful to her. He could not blame her for feeling but at the time, he was hurt at her doubt and he resolved to wash his hands of her once and for all, if she did not want him. It would have ended at that if not for the fact that two months after the heated coupling, Buck discovered that Inez was pregnant.

He was going to be a father.

When he had found himself in similar situation, Buck’s first impulse had been to deny it. He barely knew the mother and she was one of so many women in his past. Fortunately that had resolved itself as it was discovered that he was not the father of the young woman’s baby. However, Inez’s situation was entirely different. He knew for a fact that he was the  _only_  one who could have been the contributor to the new life forming inside her body. There was no doubt he was the father of her child and what surprised him more than anything was the fact that running was the furthest thing from his mind. From the moment he had learnt of her existence, Buck Wilmington had not been able to resist Elena Rose.

She was born like she was conceived, unconventionally but from the moment he held her in his hands, this small bundle of pink that was Inez and he, Buck had been utterly lost. Buck had barely looked back since leaving his bachelor life behind him and creating a home with his new family was one of his life’s great achievements. It was hard work being a family man and there were times when he and Inez were ready to strangle each other and other times when their love was so blinding, Buck could scarcely breathe. It was highs and lows with the former often outnumbering the latter and Buck had never been happier. He had his family that not only consisted of his wife and child but of the six men whose meaning to him was deeper than friendship and brotherhood.

From the moment she was born, Buck had adored Elena Rose. How could he not? She was the first child born to the seven and they all were smitten in their own way. Even Chris who had real difficulty being near an infant in the early days of her life mostly because she brought memories back of a time when  _he_ had been the new father. Eventually however, her charm penetrated the gunslinger’s hardened exterior and Chris was overcome just like the rest of his friends. For Buck who loved women for so long, Elena Rose was the answer to all the questions he ever had about women. In watching her grow up, he saw how they perceived the world, learnt what was important to them and how many had a core of strength that remained hidden for most part, channeled to the things so vastly different from what men that it was somewhat staggering to perceive.

His own father was a mystery to him and Buck had been determined to never be that way with Elena Rose. He ensured she could always rely upon him and she did. Their relationship was close from the day she was born and Buck worked hard to ensure it remained that way through the course of her life. He knew that he probably spoilt her a little since he had never been able to say no to any female in his life and he simply adored her. Fortunately, Inez was far more grounded than he about such things and though she loved Elena Rose as much as he, she was far more capable of offering the girl the discipline she needed. Not that Elena Rose gave them much trouble as she grew older. This was somewhat surprising considering the friends she made.

Most of the time, she was seen in the company of Michael Larabee and later on Samantha Tanner, when they arrived into the world. Their adventures caused  _all_  their fathers to require a stiff drink at times to calm their nerves while debating whether or not locking a child in a monastery was an entirely bad thing. Buck supposed that considering their lineage, the children could not be any other way. Besides, a part of him was pleased that their children had formed friendships almost as binding as their own had been. However, with the advent of Elena Rose approaching womanhood, Buck began to realize like the rest of the seven, that some of those friendships could evolve into something unexpected that none of them had ever considered.

No matter how much she grew up, Buck still saw Elena Rose as his little girl. In his mind’s eye, she would always be the small pink bundle handed to him by Nathan Jackson on that prairie where he and Inez had met. He could imagine her no other way, certainly not as a young woman and definitely not the object of someone’s affection. The idea that she might marry and leave home one day was a terrifying possibility because he could not imagine his life without her even though he knew that it was the natural way of things. When she turned sixteen, Buck suddenly became aware that he had fathered an extraordinarily beautiful child. Coming from two handsome parents of differing racial backgrounds had turned Elena Rose into something of an exotic hybrid and when her flower came into full bloom at sixteen.

Suddenly Buck began to have thoughts about the men who would come asking for her hand and the fears that she would meet someone like how he used to be in his youth caused the former ladies man to wake up in a cold sweat on more than one occasion. Josiah had made some joke about it being poetic justice since Buck’s first few years in Four Corners had sent many a father to the brink of a nervous break down in their efforts to protect their daughters from his charming smile. It was a natural part of life, Josiah had said when he realized that Buck was truly mortified by the idea of that little joke. Perhaps it was, Buck thought defiantly to himself, but he did not have to like it.

Inez told him plainly as she often did, that he was being silly. Of course, Elena Rose would meet someone one day she would love and cherish the way their parents felt towards one another, what was wrong with that? Nothing he supposed begrudgingly, if that was what would happen. He could live with that because comfortingly, that scenario was years ahead in the future and his happy family would remain safe for a while longer. However, suitors in the future was a non issue when it came to Elena Rose because the person she was destined for was already known to her and for reasons Buck could not understand, the idea that she could be in love with someone already terrified him.

He supposed he should not be surprised at the developing affections between Elena Rose and Mike Larabee. After all, they had grown up together and were rarely apart. Mike and Elena’s romantic connection to each other really started to take shape when they were twelve, although Buck suspected Mike had felt deeply for his daughter even earlier than that. He watched the attraction grow; convincing himself it was youthful infatuation, that the years would diminish its intensity. It did not. If anything, it became stronger and there was no doubt in his mind the boy adored his daughter almost as much as he did. It should have made it easier to accept but for Buck it made it all the more difficult. Chris seemed to take the whole thing with a grain of salt, remarking only that they’ll decide their on fate when the time came for them to make the decision.

When she was eighteen, he lived with the fear that one day Mike would come calling for her hand and because there was no way Buck could deny him, he would lose his little girl. It was not as if he did not like Mike. It was impossible not to. He looked at Mike and he saw his oldest friend, before life had got to him and scarred him to the hardened gunslinger he had become in his later years. However Mike’s edge was tempered by his mother’s temperament. There was no doubt in his mind that Mike would do anything for his daughter and Buck realised his own reluctance to accept the relationship was some fear of losing Elena Rose. He did not want their relationship to change but knew when she was a woman married, everything would.

Since the day of her life began in the womb, she had changed Buck’s life. Every day following the discovery of her existence had shaped Buck’s life. He had been blessed with more joy than any man had a right to and there was a part of him that feared if she were gone from his life, so would that happiness. It was foolishness, he knew it but he could not ignore how it made him feel. However, the expectation that Mike would come knocking at his door and asking for Elena Rose’s hand when she was eighteen did not come at all. It was actually quite surprising when instead Elena Rose announced her intention to work in the Pemberton Emporium while Mike Larabee was going to California to gain a college education. For a time Buck was puzzled, wondering why they weren't marrying because that was what everyone expected. Elena merely shrugged and said that it was not time for that.

Later on Chris explained to Buck Mike wanted to finish college first, become capable of supporting a wife before he made any attempts to acquire one. Elena Rose meant too much to him for her to be incapable of providing for her when she became his wife. It surprised Buck and despite himself, the old rogue appreciated the effort the boy was making. They remained closely bound for the next four years, always spending time together when Mike came home from college while Elena Rose continued to work at the Emporium, becoming more and more indispensable to Julia as time went on. For Buck, those years moved by too quickly and before he knew it, Chris was announcing that Mike was done in college and would soon be coming home.

And Buck just knew that when he did, _everything_ would change.

* * *

"Michael, I don’t know whether this is a good idea or not." Elena Rose confided as they walked towards the Wilmington home where her parents were presently breakfasting. She had been waiting for Mike for most of the morning, aware that he would be making his arrival at the homestead in order to see her father.

"Ellie we talked about this," Mike sighed as he wrapped his horses reins around the hitching post. "I’m going to be leaving for Egypt in two months, I want you with me."

"Why couldn’t you do something here? I mean Egypt, it’s so far away." She sighed wistfully. Despite her ambivalence at what Mike was about to do, the truth was, Elena Rose did want to do with him abroad. She wanted to see all the things he had described to her during the past four years, the places that had existed beyond Four Corners and the Territory. Elena Rose had never been outside of the Territory and she wanted to see the world that Mike was promising to show her.

"Its pretty hard to do any serious archaeological work at Giza if one’s not actually there Elena," he said good naturedly, understanding the reason for her anxiety and unable to confess that he was completely devoid of the emotion himself. However, they had waited long enough and it was finally time for their lives to begin. "Elena this is a great opportunity," he said taking her hand in his and staring into her eyes, the way he did when they were children where she was afraid and in need of assurance. "The few years I spend over there is experience that will give the chance to get me a place in any college in this country."

"I know," she glanced apprehensively at the house. "Its just that I don’t think daddy’s that pleased with the whole idea of us being married."

"He just doesn’t want to lose you." Mike said with a little smile. "Who can blame him?" He lowered his lips gently to her forehead and planted a soft kiss. "It will be okay, I promise."

Elena Rose nodded slowly, allowing herself to believe him because he always kept his promises to her no matter what the situation. In her youth, she had not loved him as much as he had adored her but now, she could not imagine her life without him. The last four years where he had been away in California studying, had been agonizing for her. Half the reason she had convinced Julia Pemberton to hire her at the Emporium was just so that she would have something to do during the periods when he was away. Elena had never imagined Mike leaving could be as torturous as it had been. He had been there all her life and his sudden absence felt as if part of soul was missing.

"Okay," she let herself relax a little even if it was for a moment. No doubt, her anxiety would return in full force once they entered the house. "Just promise me you’ll start running if you see a shotgun."

"That’s _not_ funny." Mike stared at her.

"Who was joking?" She returned his gaze wit ha perfectly innocent expression.

They reached the house a moment later and holding his hand in hers, Elena Rose led Mike to the kitchen where at present the Wilmington family was gathered around the table. She squeezed his hand tightly at the last moment, almost as if she were wishing him luck for the both of them. Elena Rose had no idea how her father was going to react to what Mike was about to propose but she resolved herself not to falter. She was a grown woman now and as much as her father loved, she had a right to live her own life, no matter how much he might think he was protecting him.

"Hey Mike." Seventeen year old Jimmy Wilmington grinned in Mike's direction when the two of them appeared before the family.

"Hello everyone." Mike greeted him back and felt intensely awkward when he noted Buck's gaze pointed sharply at him.

"Hello Michael," Inez smiled as she rose from her seat and kissed him lightly on the cheek as if he were a small child again. "Would you like something to eat?"

"No thanks Inez," Mike answered, having felt comfortable enough to call the lady by her first name a long time ago. "I came here to see Buck."

Inez nodded in understanding, having a good idea why her daughter seemed almost as tense as the young man before her and why Buck was glaring at Mike as if he was a hated enemy. She sighed inwardly, reminding herself that she would let things progress on their own for awhile before she intervened. For the moment at least, she would give Buck the benefit of the doubt. Her personal opinion was that it was time for Elena Rose to make her own decisions and there was no doubt in the Mexican's mind that Mike Larabee was utterly in love with her daughter as much as Elena Rose was with him. Of course men were not so astute about these things and while she was sad to think that after today, her daughter would no longer be hers, she wanted nothing but Elena Rose's happiness.

"What about?" Jimmy asked.

"It's a private matter." Mike said staring across the table and meeting Buck's gaze, determined not to show any fear. He was, after all, his father's son.

"Jimmy," Inez spoke up. "You have chores to do. Take care of them please."

"Ma," Jimmy looked at her in confusion. "I ain't finished eating yet."

"Oh yes you are." Inez said sweetly. "Get going now."

Even though he was seventeen years old, he recognized the tone of her voice that demanded obedience and he was too conditioned not to ignore it. Swallowing what was left of his breakfast still in his mouth, Jimmy grumbled as he left the table, even though no one seemed to notice. Once he was gone, Inez gestured at Elena to follow her into the kitchen so that the two men could have the privacy needed to discuss things. Elena Rose was reluctant to go especially with her father merely sitting there staring at Mike as if something was terribly wrong. It was such a far cry from the man she had come to love so dearly? Why was her father so angry?

The question did not have opportunity to be answered as Elena Rose was ushered out of the room leaving Mike alone with Buck Wilmington who did not at all seem very happy to see him. Like her, he was just as bewildered by her father's behavior. Surely Buck knew how they felt about each other? After all these years, he could not possibly be in the dark about why Mike had come to see him today, especially since he had gone away to college. Buck merely stared at him, wearing a hard expression on his face, a far cry from the happy go lucky family man he had always knew and admired.

"Buck, I've come to ask for Elena's hand." Mike announced after a long pause, deciding not to waste time with trivialities.

"I guessed that." Buck said slowly, finally faced with the moment he had dreaded for so long.

"I have a job in Egypt." Mike said slowly, choosing to hide nothing as he made his case. "I'll be an assistant to a professor who is supervising archaeological digs on the Giza Plain. I'll be gone for a while, I want Elena Rose to come with me as my wife."

"You want to take her away from everything she's ever known?" Buck accused, his heart pounding at the thought of her being so far away from him.

"No," Mike shook his head, refusing to be intimidated by the question. "I want to show her the world. She deserves to see it."

"She's too young." Buck returned. It was a weak excuse and he knew it.

"She's old enough to know she wants to come with me." Mike returned. "Buck, I love her. I've always loved her and she loves me. I want to make her my wife, please."

"No." Buck said simply and did not realise until he said it how unreasonable it sounded.

Buck stared at Mike Larabee as he absorbed the answer. His face remained the same despite the refusal. There was no angry demands, no expressions of outrage of anger, just that contemplative look of study that told Buck nothing about what he was feeling. For a minute, he looked so much like Chris it was maddening because all it did was remind Buck how foolish he was being but he could not agree to this. She was his flesh and blood! His first born! She had changed everything by her existence, how could he let her go? How could he stand to be without her in his life?

"May I ask why?" Mike spoke after a long moment wrought with unspoken tension.

"She's too young to be married or to be taken so far away from home. If anything happens to you over there, she'll be stranded in a strange place." Buck returned. "I ain't letting you put her in that kind of danger."

"I see." Mike nodded slowly. "You don't think that I don't love her enough to make sure that if something like that happened, she would be sent home to you?"

"You're younger than she is," Buck retorted. "You probably wouldn't think of it. When you're young and you don't know better, things like that seem far off."

Mike sucked in his breath and stared Buck straight in the eye. "I love her more than anything in the world. I would never cause her to be harmed in any way but you're wrong about so many things. She wants to be with me and I know if I asked her to come with me, without your permission, she'll do it because she loves me as much as I love her. I don't want to do that. You're her father and she adores you. I won't break her heart by making her choose between what she feels for me and her love for you. I thought you would care enough not to do the same."

"Get out." Buck hissed, the younger man's words penetrating more than it should. The kid was right of course but he could not give in. He could not imagine his little girl being taken away from his life, to journey to a place an ocean away, he could not stand how any man could let his child leave like that? What on Earth was Chris thinking by letting Mike go so far away? "We're done."

"Yes we are." Mike nodded and put his hat back on, preparing to leave. He was not going to force the issue, not yet. Buck was afraid of losing his daughter and Mike had to hope that when the shock of the proposal finally sunk in, Buck would be a little more receptive to the idea. Right now the man needed a little time to come to terms with the changes that were coming. Mike loved Elena Rose enough to give Buck that time.

And without another word, he left.

* * *

The shock wave of Mike Larabee's abrupt departure hit Buck Wilmington a few minutes later.

He recalled hearing Elena Rose asking Mike what had happened when he strode out of the house and Mike had not answered her which was all the answer she needed to come storming back through the door. Buck was still seated at the table, hating himself for what he had done because the younger man had shown he loved Elena Rose more than her own father. Buck felt ashamed and yet he could not let this happen. Each time he thought about his daughter being married, his gut constricted with fear and suddenly he was reminded of what it was like before she came, when he had been alone except for the six friends he rode with. Before Elena was conceived, he did not even have Inez. None of it made any sense, he knew that but it still felt real.

"What did you say to him?" Elena demanded, staring at him with eyes so ablaze with fury, Buck was rather unsettled by it. She had always been his Rose, to see this darker side of her was unnerving.

"I said no." Buck admitted, refusing to be that much of a coward.

Elena's expression hardened a split second before he saw just how hurt she was. With a calmer voice than she thought her capable of under the circumstances, Elena asked quietly. "Why?" Her voice was little more than a whisper.

"Because you're too young!" He exclaimed, unable to believe she could actually ask her that. "You're still a kid!"

"I AM TWENTY THREE YEARS OLD!" She roared. "I am old enough to make my own decisions and you had no right to refuse him!"

"I'm your father!" He cried out in desperation. Couldn't she see he was doing it for her own good? "If I let you marry him, he'll take you half way across the world! You don't want that!"

"You never asked me if I did!" She shouted. "I don't want to leave you or mama or even Jimmy but its time for me to go and its not like I wouldn't come back! I've never been out of the Territory daddy, I want to go with Mike, I want to see what's out there. Don't you understand, I love him!"

"I can't agree to this," Buck swallowed, feeling his heart breaking at being unable to say what she wanted to hear. He just was not ready to let go of her. "I'm sorry."

"Don't make me do this daddy," she said softly, her eyes glistening with emotion as Elena Rose found herself faced with an unimaginable situation. "Don't make me chose between you and him. Please."

"I can't Rose," he whispered. "I can't let you leave, not yet."

"Oh daddy," she blinked and turned away, the disappointment thick in her voice. "It was never your decision."

With that, she left the room, not even looking at him as she went.

Inez walked in almost immediately after, her face staring at him in shock as if she could not believe what he had done. The astonishment on her face was more mute horror as if she was looking at a stranger that had suddenly taken the place of her husband.

"Buck what have you done?" She asked him, needing to hear it for herself from his lips.

"I don't want to talk about it Inez," he said gruffly. "I've made my decision."

"Have you now?" She returned sharply not about to take that for an answer in any shape of form. "Might I remind you that she is my daughter? I carried her in my body, I am the one who suffered public ridicule when she was first conceived. Don’t you ever tell me that I do not have the right to have some say in what my child’s future is!"

"Inez, she’s still a child!" Buck shouted, refusing to back down.

"She’s a great deal more grown up than you are!" Inez barked. "Buck, she loves him. She has loved for a long time and I won’t let them be kept apart."

"He’s going to take her away if they’re married Inez. To Egypt or some strange place like that!" Buck exclaimed, trying to make her understand that he had good reason for what he had done.

Inez paused a moment, considering his words but the respite was fleeting. "Buck, she’s not our baby any more. She’s a grown woman. She knows her heart and you have to let go. The tighter we hold on to her, the more she’ll slip away." Inez closed the distance between them and took his face in her hands in a gesture of warmth and understanding. "I know its hard to see her as a woman but you have to. You have to let her be happy."

"Inez," Buck whispered softly. "She’s our little girl. I can’t imagine her being gone."

"It is hard for me too." Inez confessed feeling her own sorrow at what must be reflecting in her eyes. "I do not want her leaving any more than you do but we must let her choose her own life and we must prepare ourselves for losing her when she does."

Buck thought about the child he had loved for so long and realized that his image of Elena Rose had remained unchanged since the day she was born. Perhaps that had been wrong because in seeing her as nothing else, he had not allowed himself to understand that time was passing and she was evolving into her own person beyond the Rose he had always considered her to be. He had always prided in himself in knowing how women thought and yet he had been so wrong about his daughter. He held her in his eyes as a child, oblivious to the fact that like every young woman, she had hopes and dreams of the future, a future that obviously centered a great deal on Mike Larabee.

"Oh hell Inez," Buck swallowed, his voice choked by emotion in his throat. "I hate losing her. I really do."

"I know," Inez smiled, seeing in his eyes that he was reaching the point he needed to be. "But its not forever and you could think of it as gaining a son." She teased a little.

"Make me feel better why don’t you?" He glared at her. "Chris’ kid don’t take after him much." Buck muttered. "I don’t remember Chris being that smart."

"I’ll bet Mary was," Inez chuckled as she wrapped her arms around her husband and rested her head on his shoulder. "You want me to tell Rose?"

Buck nodded slowly, still hating this whole idea of a daughter married and being taken away but he could not deny that Inez was right. In his heart he knew it too but was too compelled by his feelings of loss to admit it yet. "Yeah, she’s probably still mad at me. I suppose I can’t blame her for that. I was a little out of hand."

"Buck, you’re a wonderful father." Inez gave him a look. "But you have made a mess of this situation and I will only partially clean it up for you. I will tell your daughter that her father has come to his senses and that she can marry the man she loves. You will ride to Four Corners and give Mike your blessing."

"Aw darling, don’t make me do that." Buck complained, having no wish to face the younger man and admit that he was wrong.

"Buck, this is not up for negotiation." Inez said firmly. "You _will_ go."

Buck frowned, aware that he had already lost this argument and there was no sense getting any deeper into trouble by making Inez madder than she already was at him. Besides, she was right. He had behaved like a fool in front of the younger man who had acted surprisingly adult considering. That he had refused to make Elena Rose choose between the two of them was testament to how much he cared about her and on some level that made Buck feel a little better about the man Elena Rose had chosen to be her husband.

_Husband._

The word sounded so alien even as he said it. Baser instincts still prevailed even though he had decided that Inez was right about allowing Elena Rose the choice to make her own decisions. His mind could not overcome the concept that she was too young to be a wife. Time had moved so fast that sometimes Buck wondered where it all went. Why did it feel as if it was not that long ago when he had heard that knock on the door, where Vin Tanner had tricked him into believing that the husband of the woman who’s bed he was presently occupying had returned? After that day, everything in his life had changed. From the formation of the seven, to the first time he met Inez and Elena’s eventual birth, everything had moved so fast and here he as now, a man almost at his sixties, trying to cope with getting older and watching his daughter start a life beyond his.

With a sigh, Buck knew that he was trying to find the rolling tides of an ocean. Life had no intention of remaining in stasis for him. It would go on without his cooperation and around him if necessary. He could do nothing to stop it except perhaps change with it. Perhaps that was what he could not face most of all, not the loss of Elena Rose with the approach of her life but the fact that he was simply getting old and once Elena Rose married, there would be no hiding how much older he had become. The rogue he had once been was so far away from what he was now that he hardly recognized himself and the truth that he refused to admit to himself, though he was certain Inez knew, was his fear that with Elena Rose's marriage, he would become even more unrecognizable.

"You're right," Buck sighed, admitting defeat at last. "I'll go."

* * *

When he arrived at the Larabee home, Buck was surprised to learn that Mary had no idea what had happened between him and her son. It was just as well, Buck thought as Mary directed him to the Standish Tavern in order to find the boy. Mary could be as fierce a lady grizzly when it came to her children and Buck's actions if she knew, would certainly earn him a decent hollering. Even though he probably deserved it, Buck was in no mood to receive her rebuke when he still yet to face Mike. He felt bad enough over what he had done earlier and it was going to feel a lot worse when he was faced to swallow his pride and apologize to the young man. Sometimes admitting one was wrong could be such hard word; Buck sighed as he made his way to the saloon.

He was still on the street when he saw Chris Larabee emerge from the batwing doors. The eyes of his oldest friend narrowed as he caught sight of Buck and told him in an instant that Chris knew what had happened. Chris' expression remained stony as he paused at the edge of the boardwalk and waited for Buck to join him. Buck took a deep breath, knowing that this was probably the easier of the two encounters he would make today. After the way the day had started, Buck supposed it could only get better. It sure as hell could not get worse.

"Chris." Buck nodded at him in greeting.

"Buck." Chris stared back at him.

"Is Mike in there?" Buck asked gingerly, glancing towards the Standish Tavern's doors.

"Yeah," Chris nodded imperceptibly, his eyes still boring holes into Buck's skin as the former gunslinger gave him a perfect demonstration of the infamous Larabee glare.

"I need to see him." Buck managed to say, aware that Chris was angry but was restraining himself in order to give Buck a chance to explain.

"I think you were pretty clear when he was at your place." Chris retorted coolly but there was a thin line of anger in his voice that Buck had heard enough times in his life to recognize immediately.

"I changed my mind," Buck said quickly, deciding to diffuse the situation before it got any worse. "Of course he can marry her."

Chris' reaction was slight but it was enough to show Buck that he was relaxing somewhat and more pliable to a civilized conversation now that Buck had apparently come to his senses. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Oh my wife told me I was being a damn fool." Buck confessed with a heavy sigh.

"Well Inez was always the smarter of you two." Chris remarked with the barest hint of humor in his voice.

"Thanks  _a lot_ ," Buck growled at him. "Mike is a fine young man, Chris. I always thought so. I just got mighty scared when I realised my little girl ain't a so little no more."

"I know what you mean." Chris nodded in understanding and sympathy.

"You do?" Buck stared at him with surprise. Chris did not often admit he was scared and even rarely over something as personal as this.

"He's my son. I don't like the idea of him sailing half way across the world either, you know? I could barely stand it when Billy went to West Point or when Mike went to California. I kept thinking they were too far away to protect. Now he wants to go Egypt. That's so far away from here you need to go to another page to find it on a map." Chris admitted, lowering the mask that concealed so many emotions and showed Buck that on this point, their feelings were almost the same.

"Then why let him go?" Buck asked, hoping that if Chris had an answer, perhaps it would work with Elena Rose too.

"Because its not my place to keep him here Buck." Chris stared at him as if there could be any other response. "He's a grown man. Its time for his life to begin and he can't do that if I'm protecting him. Sooner or later he's got to do it on his own. You remember what that was like don't you? We went through the same thing with JD."

"That's different," Buck insisted, "JD was here with us. He was apart of the seven. Anything happen to him, all six of us would be there to catch him. Where Mike and Elena Rose wants to go, we won't be there."

"No we won't," Chris agreed. "But they love each other Buck and they'll find a way without us. We have to give them the chance to try."

"I'm too young to be a grandfather." Buck sighed.

"No you're not," Chris smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "And neither am I."

"I should disown her for making me related to you." 

"I could say the same." Chris laughed with him. "So are you going to tell my son that he can marry your daughter before the kid gets any drunker than he already is?"

"He's drunk?" Buck stared at him.

"Yeah, one drink and he's drunk." Chris shook his head in bewilderment.

"Well at least we know he didn't get that from you." Buck gave Chris a mischievous look.

"Right, right," Chris returned his response with a barb of his own. "Like Elena didn't get her brains from you."  
  
Both men laughed for a few seconds before Buck stopped and declared abruptly. "You realize we're gonna have to hog tie Vin to get him into a suit."

"Why?" Chris looked at him in confusion.

Buck rolled his eyes in exasperation, "cause there's no way in hell he's going to look like some wild and woolly buffalo hunter that's past his prime at  _my_   daughter's wedding."

* * *

The wedding was held less than two weeks later with almost everyone in town turning up for the affair. Once again, Josiah Sanchez found himself presiding at the most important ceremony in the lives of the seven since Lilith's marriage to Billy Travis. Of course on that auspicious day he had been the father of the bride and not the preacher that was marrying the happy couple, like this wedding. It was a difference he did not mind at all and considered it a great privilege when Mike had asked him to perform the ceremony. Considering that they had only two weeks to prepare for it, the wives of the seven came together with remarkable efficiency. Inez of course wanted everything to be perfect and like a general on the battlefield, enlisted the aid of everyone possible to make her daughter's special day an event to be treasured for ever.

The ceremony was to be held at the church that Josiah had restored through years of devotion and the reception would take place at the Wilmington homestead. The children of the seven wherever they might be scattered throughout the country made the trip home to attend the wedding celebrations. Samantha Tanner had returned home Eagle Bend where she was almost near completion in her apprenticeship as a land surveyor. Like her father, she loved wide, open spaces and the land and in the vocation of marking the vast tracts of land in the Territory, she had found the perfect blending of her skills. Of course, she did not forget that she was a woman and when many saw her moving through town, respectfully garbed like a lady, she amused herself knowing that they would probably be stunned if they knew what she did for a living.

Peter Standish and Tommy Jackson were also able to attend the wedding owing to the fact that the school semester was over and they were at home on holidays anyway. Peter was studying to become an engineer and each time he returned home, he dazzled those who would listen about the things he would build. At the moment, he seemed preoccupied with the notion of building flying machines which twenty years ago sounded outlandish but was now becoming more and more a topic spoken by a great number of people. Josiah swore he saw Ezra flinch every time Peter spoke of building one of these craft and making them fly. According to Peter, there was a race to conquer the sky and once it was done, the face of the world as it was known would change beyond human imagination. When Peter described it, even those as jaded, as the seven tended to believe it.

Tommy Jackson's dreams were nowhere as lofty but there were nonetheless just as important. The younger man had persevered in Yale despite the prejudice he encountered to show that he was just as capable of any white student attempting to survive there. Nathan claimed that while Tommy spoke of being a chemist, the gleam in his eyes indicated that there was more to his dreams for the future than just that achievement. Tommy was often in correspondence with men like Edward Bouchet and had since began correspondence with an Elmer Samuel Imes who was also studying to be a chemist in Fisk University. The connection to other similarly minded Negroes did a great deal to encourage Tommy in his own endeavors and there was no doubt in any of the seven's mind that whatever he chose to do in the future, it would be on his own terms.

Penny Standish had achieved her goals much more rapidly than the others as she fulfilled her ambitions to be an actress. Despite it being the part of a minor character, following her performance as Lavinia in Titus Andronicus for which she received pleasant enough reviews, Penny found herself receiving the attention of a man named Charles Frohman and was soon threading the boards on Broadway. When she was not there, she was traveling across the country and performing. Although it seemed to be brutally hard work and a vocation which still gave her parents a great deal of concern, the glimmer of success could be seen in the horizon. Penny's news upon returning home for the wedding seemed to indicate that with her winning of the starring role in a new play called Madam Butterfly.

Adam in the meantime was no longer working at the Clarion News. Last summer, he had sold a book, an adventurous tale about a young man's journey to the west, which had been purchased by a fancy New York publisher. Based partly on some of JD's adventures with the seven, the book was a great success particularly in the East and was the fiction of choice for an generation of young men who had been born too late to know what the rugged west had been in their father's day. Thanks to his royalties, Adam no longer needed to work and after treating himself to a typewriter, the young man set down to work on his next piece of fiction. Much to JD's relief, Adam's writings had a little more realism and less flamboyance than that of another writer who had once attempted to chronicle the seven's adventures, Jock Steele and it felt oddly satisfying to know that it was Adam doing it.

Kyle Larabee had also left Four Corners but was home for his brother's wedding. Kyle had followed in Billy's footsteps, joining West Point. It was his first year away from home and Chris was gratified to know that the General, his own father, was close enough to keep an eye on his grandson. Although the General was pretty much retired these days, the older man had made it a point to remain close by much to Chris' relief. Jimmy Wilmington had declined the need to go to college, preferring instead to work on the Lucky Seven ranch. The boy had a real knack for handling horses and the ranch's three principals were confident that when it was time for them to retire, they would be leaving the place in good hands. Nettie did go to college, having decided she wanted to be a doctor. It was her first year away from Four Corners, having enrolled in the Emma Willard Academy for young ladies. Since the passing of her mother, Nettie had spent a great deal of time with Alexandra Tanner, helping in the clinic and learning enough to know that it was what she wanted to do with her life.

Fortunately not all the children were ready to fly the nest and so the seven were left with some sense that the best part of their lives were not behind them, with Sarah, Rebecca and Daniel still in their lives. Still, there was no doubting that things were changing dramatically with this wedding. Although they had already gone through the same experience with Lilith and Billy, there was something different about this one. Billy and his family lived in Four Corners, where else Elena Rose and Mike would be travelling half way across the world when they began their married lives. It was an exodus that defined the realization that someday their children would scatter to the winds and with this wedding, the day had drawn one step closer.

* * *

"So is Buck taking this any better?" Samantha Tanner asked as she and Elena Rose got dressed for the wedding that was now only matter of hours away.

It was decided that it would be easier for them to prepare themselves for the coming nuptials at the Standish home since it was in town and not far from the church where the actual ceremony was held. Mike was involved in similar arrangements at the Larabee household while back at the homestead where she had grown up, Inez was busily ensuring everything was perfect when the guests returned to the place for the reception. In the meantime, Audrey, Rain and Lilith were taking care of decorating the church for the special event about to take place in its hallowed halls. Like everything else the seven was involved in, the preparations for the wedding had mobilized everyone. It was terribly in keeping with the tradition.

"Well he still hates the idea of me going to Egypt." Elena Rose replied as she fixed her hair as she intended to wear it up for the ceremony, holding it together with some fashionable pins that Penny had picked up for her in New York and keeping the tradition of wearing something new.

"Well I can't say I'm too thrilled either." Sam confessed as she ran a brush through her hair. Sam hated wearing her long, sheeny tresses up, a habit she had not been able to break since her childhood. "That's a long way. I'll miss you both."

"Its not forever," Elena Rose looked away from the mirror. "Besides we'll keep in touch. I can write lots of letters you know? Its just that Mike wants to be a serious archaeologist and I don't want to deny him that. Besides," she said with a little smile. "I  _want_  to see the Middle East."

"I can't say I don't envy you," Sam replied. "Maybe I'll do that once I finish up with Messrs. Hill & Blume Surveyors."

"What about Peter?" Elena Rose glanced at her with a twinkle of suggestion in her eye.

"What about him?" Sam asked innocently.

"Oh don't play coy with me," Elena Rose retorted staring at her pointedly. "There's been something up with you two for ages."

"Well maybe there is," Sam chuckled, not about to deny when she knew in her heart how deeply she felt about Peter. "Can I ask you something Ellie?"

"Can it wait until after you two give me a hand with these things?" Penny's voice interrupted as the stage actress entered the room, carrying the gowns both participants in the ceremony would be wearing for the day.

"Oh now that's really lovely," Sam commented as she relieved Penny of Elena Rose's wedding gown and took a moment to admire it.

"Isn't it?" Elena Rose beamed proudly as she ran her fingers over the soft creme colored material as Sam was hanging it up until she was ready to wear it. "Its Mary's."

"Yeah, Rain and Audrey did a great job altering it for you." Penny remarked as she handed Alex her own dress. "And I think its kind of nice that you're wearing your mother in law's wedding dress."

"Well its not like my own mom had one," Elena Rose sighed. "I mean she had her wedding in the middle of a prairie somewhere, while giving birth to me. With your dad as a bridesmaid." She winked at Sam.

"He still says it wasn't because of his hair." Sam chuckled.

"And my daddy had to lend yours a ring." Penny pointed out, having heard this amusing story from Nathan numerous times in their lives." She giggled.

"Somehow it's just the way I expect it to be with my dad though," Elena confessed, enjoying the moment with her friends. "Just a little crazy."

"I think Mike is really pleased you are wearing his mom's dress," Sam remarked. "Gives the wedding a nice sense of continuity."

"I think so," Elena Rose nodded before she glanced at Sam again. "Now, what was it that you were about to say when Penny walked in? You seemed kind of cryptic."

"Oh," Sam remembered what she had been saying and wondered if she should bring it up on such occasion, now that she had reason to pause and consider it. "It's nothing."

"It didn't sound like it," Penny pointed out. "Come on, how bad could it be?"

"It's not  _bad_ ," Sam shrugged and then let out a sigh. "Okay, I was wondering whether you ever thinking about what happened to us when we went searching for the Twin Lakes."

For a brief instance, none of them responded to Sam's question. She need not elaborate any further than that because they all knew to what she was referring. So many years had passed and they had managed to keep the memories of what they had seen after drinking from that strange pool called the Twin Lakes in the mountains. Though they all had been visited by visions, not many of them liked to talk about it. Kyle in particular had seen what he thought was his own death until learning otherwise from Nettie that he would survive some war in the distant future and become Four Corner's sheriff once JD Dunne was prepared to retire.

"I do," Elena answered first. "For a long time, I only had this feeling that what we saw was real but no real proof and then Mike came home and said he got that job in Egypt and I knew it was true because I saw us both in Egypt during my vision. What about you two?"

Sam and Penny exchanged glances as if trying to decide who would go first and coming to the conclusion that it would be Penny. "I saw myself on stage," she crooked the corner of her lips into a little curve. "I saw myself as a success and everything I wanted to be and then I saw myself as Adam's wife."

"Now that's a surprise." Sam confessed although she was pleased that there was a future for two of her closest friends. Besides, Penny's extroverted nature was just what someone like Adam, who was shy and somewhat solitary, needed in his life. "A nice one though. At least you can keep an eye on each other since I won't be there to look after you."

"And where will you be?" Penny asked.

Sam smiled as she remembered what she had seen and how the memory of it was still so vivid in her mind. There were moments she could still feel the wind in her hair, the sky surrounding her on all fronts and the giddy realization that she was flying as free as a bird in the sky.

Aware that her friends were waiting for an answer, Sam responded softly, "I'll be catching the moon."

Her cryptic words hung in the air for a few seconds after she had spoken them with none of them saying anything because that Elena's confirmation proved those visions of so long ago was no apparition or fantasy but something real that would unfold in the course of time. The slight preview into the future promised extraordinary things for them and for the people with whom they would share it.

* * *

Mike Larabee stared at the clock and knew that time was not moving slower, he was just being impatient. He had waited for this day for so long and now it was finally here. Ever since he was a child he had adored Elena Rose Wilmington and while some might think an infatuation like this would fade with time, his affection for her had only grown stronger and deeper until it had become love in all its passionate glory. He stared in the mirror, partially dressed for the event ahead and knew that he could not wait for it to be over because he would not rest easy until she was his wife. So many years ago, he had seen a vision of his future in the pool called the Twin Lakes but the revelation had been of little surprise to him. He had always loved Elena and what he had seen in the pool merely confirmed it.

He thought of the world they would be venturing into weeks from now and hoped he was doing the right thing by taking Elena Rose from all the things she knew. He had wanted so badly to see the world beyond Four Corners and to share it with her, he wondered if he was being a little selfish for placing so much distance from her friends and her family by their marriage. The notion that he might be doing an injustice to Elena Rose worried Mike a lot especially as the ceremony drew closer. He wished he could see Elena Rose once more just to assure himself but it was tremendously bad luck for him to see her before the wedding and he was not about to jinx their new life together before it even started.

"You okay?" Billy Travis asked as he saw Mike looking a little more far away that usual.

"I'm wondering if it isn't right taking Elena Rose away from everything" Mike spoke out, looking to Peter and Tommy who were also present for reassurance.

"Well Egypt is pretty far away." Peter agreed. "Can't be easy for either of you. I mean that's a long way to be from everything and everyone you've ever known."

"Oh you're just a ray of sunshine aren't you?" Tommy gave his friend a look because Mike needed assurances, not reasons to make him feel even more apprehensive then before.

"Mike," Billy said with an air of experience in his voice. "You think you can handle it out there on your own?" He asked his younger brother, having complete faith in Mike even though he posed the question.

"Of course I can," Mike returned confidently. "Its scary to be on my own, I'm not going to lie about that. I mean you and dad have been there in one way or another to catch me whenever I took a stumble, its going to be different not having you there but I think I'll be okay. I have to be," he said firmly. "Its time for me to be on my own."

"Don't you think Elena Rose feels the same way?" Billy stared at him.

"But...."

"But nothing," Tommy blurted out before Billy could say anything. "Elena Rose is the most practical minded woman we know and she does not do anything she doesn't want to do."

"Tommy's right," Billy reinforced the younger man's statement with his own agreement. "She loves you very much Mike, she's going with you because she wants to, not because you're forcing her to."

"I know," Mike nodded. "I'm just a little nervous, I guess."

"Its understandable," Peter smiled warmly. "It's a big day."

"I'm getting married," Mike turned away from the mirror after straightening his tie and stared at them with a somewhat overwhelmed expression on his face. "I can't believe it."

Kyle, who chose that moment to enter the room with Adam, caught the end of that conversation. "Tell me about it, I still remember when you'd get all excited every time you were going to see her. You could just tell by how red he got every time she smiled at him." The younger man chuckled gleefully and caused an eruption of laughter from the friends around him.

"I really missed the days before you started to talk." Mike glared at him.

"I could say the same thing." Billy grinned.

"Hey if it makes you feel any better Mike," Adam Dunne remarked once the laughter had died down. "I'll be leaving Four Corners soon too."

"How come?" Kyle turned to him and asked quickly.

"Well I've been talking to Penny and she says that I should think about writing a play." Adam remarked. In truth, his desire to go to New York had more to do with being near the titian haired beauty more than anything else. "It will give me a chance to do something a little different and I can keep an eye on Nettie at college."

"Hey that's great." Peter said gratefully, glad that Penny would have someone to watch over her in the big city. Peter always felt a little apprehensive about Penny being alone in New York. Even though he was not far away in Connecticut, Peter still could not help but feel uneasy about her being in such heady company as the New York theatre world. "Just don't forget your friends when you become rich and famous."

"And that refers to you how?" Adam retorted with a smile of mischief.

The door swung open and Jimmy Wilmington stuck his head through the door. "Hey Mike, your mom says its time to get going."

That seemed to bring the cheerful atmosphere to a halt abruptly as the men looked at each other, feeling something happen at that instant that was difficult to define. They felt it and yet they would not put their finger on what it was until much later, when there was time to reflect deeper.

Mike however, understood immediately He saw his family, composed of his friends and his brothers and was suddenly struck with the understanding that today was probably the last time they were all going to be together for quite a while. Destiny was scattering them in all directions so that they could find their own way in the world. No matter how necessary that was, Mike could not keep from mourning the end of things as they knew it. Peter and Tommy would soon return to New Haven. Adam would be going to New York where Nettie was studying to be a doctor. Kyle would be at West Point while Sam continued her apprenticeship in Eagle Bend. Penny would be in New York or wherever her career took her touring. Jimmy would stay, happy to take the reins of the Lucy Seven ranch when the time came. Their childhood was fading before his eyes and Mike was sad to see it go.

The future, always so far away in the distance, had finally arrived because someday had become  _today_.

*********

Buck Wilmington stared at his daughter and felt interminably old but for the first time since this all had happened, he no longer felt saddened by it. It was impossible to feel anything but pride as he saw Elena Rose standing before him on the day of her wedding, looking like a vision of beauty he would carry in his heart until the day he died. For the longest time, his image of her was as the small babe Nathan had placed into his arms and told him was his daughter out there in the prairie. Now that image was replaced by this lovely young woman, who stared at him with the same adoration she had in her eyes all her life, filled with confidence that no matter what happened, her daddy would be there for her. The emotion would have overwhelmed him if he did not remind himself that he would do nothing to mar this day for his daughter.

"Are you ready?" He asked her quietly as they stood at the entrance to the church, preparing to enter.

"Yes daddy," Elena Rose whispered from under the veil she was wearing. "I'm ready."

"I am so proud of you." He took a moment to say.

"Thank you," she responded and lifted her veil to kiss his cheek. "Whatever happens daddy, it will never change anything between us. You'll always be in my heart, no matter where I go in this world."

Buck felt moisture filling his eyes but he composed himself. "Oh darling," he smiled faintly. "You're gonna make your old man get all weepy now."

"That's okay," she smiled as she lowered her veil again. "I think you're allowed. After all, you're the father of the bride."

* * *

The wedding took place with the summer providing a beautiful sunny day for the event. Buck watched his daughter being married to Mike Larabee with nothing less than delight on her lovely features. It was clear as they stared at each other, that they were utterly in love and would remain so for the rest of their lives. Josiah, who had planned his sermon with some help from Adam Dunne had spoke eloquently about friendship and marriage and all the things the seven and their families had shared to bring them to this point in time. As he heard the words being spoken by the couple as they recited their marriage vows, he felt Inez's head resting on his shoulder as her fingers entwined within his. Buck looked down at her and they both felt the same warmth passing through them. Instinctively, Buck glanced at his son and placed a gentle hand on Jimmy's shoulder. The young man looked at his father at the gesture and winked, telling Buck all he needed to know in that one roguish smile.

Buck's eyes scanned the room and he saw Mary Travis Larabee, drying her eyes with a handkerchief, trying not to cry even though she was fighting a losing battle. Chris was smiling at her and planted a kiss on her forehead while Sarah Larabee observed the proceedings with stardust in her eyes so much like her father's. Vin Tanner was staring at his daughter, appearing a little disturbed by how well she wore the bridesmaid's dress perhaps imagining that she too might not be far from this day. Alex noted his uncertainly and rolled her eyes in resignation, deciding she was washing her hands of it before Daniel's insistent tugging of his collar captured her attention.

Ezra Standish was watching carefully how Penny was gazing in Adam's direction and turning an accusatory eye to Julia at whether or not she had been aware that this was in the wind. Julia caught sight of his pointed stare and turned away, refusing to be drawn into this issue until at after the ceremony was over. Julia instead turned was instead gazing proudly at Peter who was fumbling through his pocket appearing as if he could not find the ring much too Tommy's alarm, who from his seat was gesturing at his friend where he could find the jewel on himself. Fortunately, this soon resolved itself when the Peter let out a sigh of relief and patted his coat's top pocket.

Later on when the ceremony was concluded and every one returned to the homestead, Nathan and Rain watched in pride as Rebecca, under some tutelage from Naomi sang the song that would gave Mike and Elena Rose their first dance as Mr and Mrs Michael Larabee. The young woman had a wonderful voice and the song she had sung was one of her own composition. After a few minutes, even her parents had chose to join the couples who had started dancing after Mike and Elena Rose had begun.

The day dragged on and Buck became more accustomed to the idea that his daughter was now a married woman thanks to his friends who sat with him away from the house and the other guests as they proceeded to get terribly drunk. Passing the bottle around as they sat away from the crowd, it almost felt like they were out on the trail again, when their friendship had been young and new. The seven had started out together not even trusting each other to begin but they had become family, first in their deep friendship and finally with the union of their children.

"Daddy," Elena Rose and Mike turned up shortly as the sun was about to set searching for them. "Where have you been, I've been looking everywhere for you." The happiness at being a new bride was radiating from her smile and Buck felt his heart melt, thinking that it was a good thing he had allowed to happen despite his fears.

"Just getting a little peace and quiet" Buck answered with a smile. "What's up?"

"I saved a dance for you daddy." Elena said impatiently. "Come on," she grabbed his hand and tried to pull him gently to his feet.

"Oh give me a break darling," Buck protested, too comfortable and too drunk for that matter to move. "I'm too old for this. Son," he glanced at Mike. "Can't you control your wife?"

"Yeah," Mike returned politely, "about as well as you can."

"Touché." Ezra grinned raising the bottle. "I do believe the young man is in already in possession of the most important fact of married life."

"Well he is  _my_  son." Chris gave the gambler a proud look.

"Oh come on Buck," Vin urged "Give it a try even if you are an old buzzard."

"Hey be nice," Mike gave the tracker a reproachful stare. "He is my father in law."

"And I ain't never forgiving you for making us kin." Chris remarked before breaking out into a drunken laugh.

"Up yours Larabee." Buck growled.

"Now is that anyway for family to talk to each other?" Josiah chuckled.

Chris stared at Buck and at their children, knowing that despite their antagonism, things could not have transpired better even if they had imagined it. "Yeah, that's exactly how it should be."

 


	9. Men Like Us....

 

Nathan Jackson was quiet.

The black man, who had been giving orders about so prodigiously at the Seminole village earlier in the week, seemed far more sedate and introspective now that they were away from it. Around the campfire where the seven were gathered, Nathan had barely said a word, his dark eyes fixed into the fire as he carried on an even deeper conversation with his thought than could be produced with the companions present. In the chatter of voices around him, Nathan was a vacuum. Occasionally, someone would say something louder than the accepted octave of voices speaking and he would raise his eyes to the men with whom he was keeping company. A flicker of puzzlement would follow for the barest hint of an instance where he appeared to be wondering who were these men who had suddenly come into his life. Was it almost a week ago that he had almost been strung up by a group of Texans who accused him of murder? It seemed like a lifetime away and his mind still had trouble processing all of it.

Chris Larabee observed all these things in equal silence as he worked his way steadily through the bottle of whiskey he had in his hands. He was not quite drunk enough to doze off just yet but he was getting close. He continued his scrutiny of his new companions, enjoying their chatter, occasionally emerging from his silence long enough to make a comment before withdrawing again to enjoy it continue without him. Chris had a good idea why Nathan was so silent and it had little to do with the fact that somehow he had gone from being one to seven in a matter of days. It had to do with the lovely young woman Nathan had left to join them when they had departed from the village after fighting the renegade confederate army led by one Colonel Emmet Riley Anderson. Rain and Nathan had become quite close during the week it took for the seven, hired by the desperate inhabitants of the village, to deal with Anderson once and for all. Chris believed that though the connection between them was new, the a ffection that held it together was not. There were some women that simply engendered that kind of reaction from a man and time had little or no say in the matter.

Thinking that led him to other places in his own memories, through winding corridors where whispers and smells dragged him unwillingly into thoughts he should not have, recollections he wanted no part of. Closing his eyes, Chris slammed the door on those memories and on  _that_  life, wishing not to revisit old agonies even though it marked every thing that he was. Sucking in his breath, he quashed the inevitable resurgence of pain that came with any memory of his dead wife and son, pressing the issue by taking another swing from the bottle in his hand. The liquid pacified the memory for the time being but Chris was soon taking another sip and then another, until the pain dulled to manageable levels and he could think of anything but the past. When he blinked and found himself returned to the present, he found Vin Tanner staring at him.

Their eyes met for the briefest amount of time, enough for Chris to seem in the depths of the younger man's blue eyes, not pity as one might been mistakenly led to believe but rather understanding. The contact between their gazes lasted no more than a split second but Chris could tell that here was someone who instinctively knew what he was thinking, who understood without his every needing to say the words that it was alright, no explanation was needed because he could see. This connection between them mystified Chris to say the least. A week ago, Chris Larabee had come to the dusty town of Four Corners, expecting nothing but a drink and a bed for the night before he moved on to the next town, searching for that elusive bullet he hoped would bring about his end.

He had not thought much of the store clerk that had been sweeping the floor outside the local hardware store when the trouble had started. There was nothing to capture one's attention really. He was young, a little rough around the edges and appeared to unbelievably bored with what he was doing, even if he did wear the demeanor of someone who had expected that this was how things had to be and accepted it without complaint. Then those Texans had dragged Nathan into view, preparing to hang him for imagined offences and something quite amazing happened. Chris gazed across the street and their eyes had met and in an instant, it was almost as if they were speaking to each other without using any words.

_I ain't gonna let this happen._

I reckon you wouldn't.

_I'm gonna stop this._

I reckon you will at that.

_Want to help me?_

They had saved Nathan and in doing so, something extraordinary had happened though for the life of him Chris could not imagine what game fate was playing with him, even now. The stranger, whose name was Vin Tanner, reminded Chris Larabee so much of the person he had been long before meeting Sarah and the tragedy that had twisted him so out of shape that it was almost uncanny. They understood each other because they were almost the same person inside, different only because of time and circumstances. When he and Vin had walked to the cemetery at which the Texans were preparing to hang Nathan, it felt as if something inside, devoid and empty for too long was filled. Something inside him clicked into place and Chris did not understand it, knowing only that it was Vin who caused it.

After Vin, he had found Buck Wilmington again. When he had first seen Buck, Chris could not deny that he had been ashamed to face his old friend. Buck had pulled him up by the boot straps when Sarah and Adam had died, had kept him from taking the easy way out and God help him, until this day he did not know whether or not he should be grateful for that fact. Dying might have been the more merciful alternative than living without them. Buck had disappeared out of his life once he had ensured Chris would not kill himself, realizing with sadness that saving his friend's life has resulted in losing their friendship. Chris had felt ashamed because he had known Buck was in town and had no intention of looking him up. He did not wish to see the old friend and be reminded of all that he had lost.

He glanced at Buck across the fire and saw his old friend talking to the boy that had entered all their lives this past week. Buck was still recovering from being run through with a sword by Anderson and caught his gaze for a moment. Chris smiled just a little and Buck said nothing to that effect, letting his emotions express themselves with that wide, infectious grin that had the power to lift the spirit no matter how dour a mood Chris was in, before he returned to his conversation. Chris was glad that Buck was alive and more specifically here. He did not know how he would regard his friend after all that had happened between them but he supposed that time would find someway to explain it to him in due course. For the moment at least, Buck's attention was focused on JD and imparting some supposedly useful information on the boy.

Chris stared at JD for a second and wondered if he had ever been  _that_  young?

The kid was nine kinds of trouble wrapped up in one over enthusiastic package. He was peppered with all the follies of youth, hot tempered, impulsive and inquisitive beyond sensibility but for some reason, he had grown on all of them. He was damned good with a gun although Chris tended to think he needed a little more practice in understanding when a weapon ought to be drawn and despite the contradiction of his Eastern upbringing, was an extremely good rider. However, Chris was not entirely certain how he was going to take that look of adoration and near hero worship that JD was always sending his way. Chris did not think he was anything to be admired but he supposed to a boy, who had grown up on dime store novels about infamous gunmen and pistoleers, Chris might seem the quintessential expression of that love. Fortunately, Buck had taken it upon himself to set the boy straight about what it was to survive in the West and in turn, Chris just hoped that lesson would not include Buck Wilmingt on's patented 'way to get the ladies'.

Josiah Sanchez tried not to show that his injuries hurt him and as he sat watching the fire, his broad silhouette against the twilight horizon, he appeared like the mountains themselves, unmoving and forever. Chris found that he liked the older man considerably and he was not a person who took to people with any ease but then Josiah was not just any people. The former preacher had the same glint of sadness in his eyes that spoke something as tragic in his past as Chris' own and had he not understood how intimate such pains could be, Chris would have inquired what had marked Josiah as he himself had been marked. Josiah caught his eye at that moment and tilted his cup of coffee at Chris, like two weary warriors acknowledging each other during the interlude between battles.

Ezra Standish was someone that Chris did not understand at all.

Neither was he certain that he entirely trusted the man. Ezra was engaged in conversation with Buck and JD, however, he seemed to know that Chris was watching him and regarded the gunslinger for a brief moment. Their eyes connected and Chris realized he had no idea what was going on behind those sea green eyes. It was easy to blame his lack of success on Ezra's ability to hide his emotions behind an impenetrable shield on his vocation as a gambler. A poker face was an absolute necessity in Ezra's line of profession but Chris did not think that its existence was attributed entirely to vocation alone. There was something else at work within the southerner that Chris could not quite discern yet. For instance, why hadn't he kept going when the rest of them had been captured? Ezra had made good his escape, leaving his companions to languish in the hands of mad Colonel Anderson. There was no reason for him to come back and considering what he was, it was completely understandable.

However, he did come back. He came back even though he knew that Chris would most likely kill him for running out on them in the first place and that those he left behind would not be the least bit grateful. They would eye him as someone who had let them down when they had needed him. Chris could not understand what value Ezra would have seen in returning and not knowing was the only reason that Ezra was still here with them. Almost as if he understood that Chris was watching him, thinking the things he was, Ezra turned away and returned to his discussion with Buck and JD, choosing not to comment what it would take time to change and not words spoken too soon after what he had done.

"You thinking about her." Chris asked, returning his attention to Nathan once more.

The tall dark man raised his head, almost as if he had been surprised that anyone was speaking to him at all before he regarded the question and allowed it to take shape in his mind. "Yeah."

"You could have stayed." Josiah remarked, perfectly aware that the reason for Nathan's departure had to do with his fear for the injuries sustained not only by him but also by Buck.

"No I couldn't." Nathan answered, having thought long and hard about Rain ever since he left the village, with her promise that she would wait for him, a siren song in his head.

"That girl was crazy about you Nathan," Buck Wilmington added his voice into the mix. "I can think of worse things than to partake of her company." He capped off that remark with one those mischievous smiles that left no doubt in anyone's mind what he was alluding to.

"It ain't like that." Nathan said a little too quickly and confirmed to everyone present that it was just like that.

"There's nothing wrong with feeling for the woman," Buck continued. "Just cause I ain't the marrying kind doesn't mean you aren't either."

"I don't know what I am." Nathan retorted. "I've never felt that way about anyone before to know if I am or not."

"But she likes you a lot." JD pointed out. "If you like her, what's the problem?"

Ezra Standish did not respond but he smiled a little at first and collected his thoughts, trying to decide whether or not it was prudent for him to speak. After all, his relationship with Nathan was the most difficult of all after Chris Larabee. In the past week, his meeting with Nathan Jackson had challenged his beliefs about the colored. For the first time in his life, he saw a colored man as more than what southern upbringing had taught and his behavior towards the man had been less than polite during their first encounter. He was uncertain how Nathan might take his advice but decided that if he were to forge any kind of friendship with the healer, he would have to just gamble on it. "I believe Mr Dunne has simplified the point a great deal."

"I guess I do like her but I'm not ready for anything more." Nathan responded after a moment. "Maybe I'm just a little scared of what admitting it would mean to my life."

"A wife, a family," Vin spoke up. "Those ain't bad things to want."

"I don't think I can ever be that settled." Nathan looked at the tracker. "Its too hard."

"It _is_ hard work," Chris Larabee found himself speaking and wondering why he was even daring to touch such a painful subject in front of these men but lately, he was finding that they were the only ones to whom he could confide in if he were to do so. "Its hard work and there are risks."

No one questioned it when Chris said that because of all of them; he was the one who had a family, who knew what it was like to be a husband and a father. None of them could imagine what it was like to have all that taken away with the strike of a match.

"I'd like to have a family someday," Vin Tanner spoke up, aware that Chris was unprepared to say any more then that and as if he had done it all his life, drew the attention away from Chris, just as he drew away gunfire. "If I ever get this price off my head that is. Too much of my life is spent moving around, not having a place to go to, I don't want that forever."

"You are a traditionalist," Ezra remarked. "But I find that even I aspire to having to such things, though not in the same manner I imagine."

"I'm kind of surprised that you ain't married Ezra," JD declared.

The gambler stared at him with surprise. "How's that Mr Dunne?"

"Well the way you were with those kids, I thought you might have had a couple of your own already. You seemed to handle them pretty good." JD replied, referring to the attention Ezra had paid to some of the villager's children. Whatever he might appear to be, much of the polished exterior seemed to diminish before the children and JD had a sense  _that_  was the real person Ezra was, not the one he presented for display purposes only.

"Oh no," Ezra replied. "I am glad to say that I had not had the pleasure and to be frank, I do not wish to have the experience. Children are too wholly unpredictable for my tastes and from what I have observed, less rational. The trick to getting along with them is to simply threat them as one would treat an adult. I have found that to be the most effective way of winning them over. Of course, this is only meant to be a short term application."

"You make it sound like childhood is some kind of disease." Nathan retorted distastefully. "Children aren't that hard to understand, they just want to be loved."

"I sure as hell want my kids to have a better time of it then I did," Vin replied. "I think that's all any kid ever really wants, to know they got a ma and pa who loves them." He tried to remain neutral when he said those words but was certain that the others could tell he spoke from experience.

"My father didn't know the meaning of the word." Josiah said with a hint of sadness. "All he wanted to was to mold us into what he was. I swore I'd never have children if it meant sparing them my efforts to try and do the same. I want them to be what they are and not care if its' not what I want. I sure as hell didn't get the same consideration from my father and it caused a good deal harm."

"Well I didn't have no pa," Buck said with a sigh. "Least I never met him anyway but my ma always made me feel special. She showed me how fine a woman can be, no matter where she came from and what she did. If I ever picked just one woman to be my wife and have children, I sure as hell know that loving them is the best thing I can do for them. My children are going to feel special, no matter what."

"My ma was like that." JD replied and suddenly, they realized just how fresh the pain of her loss was for him. For JD, her death was only weeks behind him. He had come to the West because when she had gone, there was nothing else left for him but to chase his own dreams. "I just want to make sure that I'm always there for my kids, if I have 'em that is." JD was still dreaming about becoming a gunman like Chris and did not know how well a family would fit in with that career choice.

"Maybe some people ain't meant to have children," Chris Larabee drawled, the liquor having loosened his tongue enough to make that admission. "What's the point of watching them up grow, of loving 'em only to have them disappear on you? It ain't worth the trouble. Men like us, we ain't meant to have children."

The six men fell silent and decided Chris was probably right. Men like them did not have families, or wives, or children for that matter. The only thing they did have was trouble and it appeared that perhaps they might have each other as well.

Besides, what use had any of them for fatherhood?

 

**THE END**

 

 


End file.
